Hi! <Waves>

Funny and honest tales from a made-to-work Dad of three, wobbling, graying, and laughing his way through parenthood. Armed to the teeth with Nerf guns, full of pie, fighting a chocolate addiction, but genuinely honoured to be at least half of Team Parents (yay!).
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Showing posts with label growing up. Show all posts
Showing posts with label growing up. Show all posts

20 July 2018

Boy11's Last Drop Off...

I'm feeling nostalgic.
There's a lot going on at the moment.
Lots of things ending, lots of things we are now doing for the last time.
People to say goodbye to, and buildings we are never gonna visit again...

Boy11: 'What we doing here Dad?'
This place, 'Burger Off', is shutting down and I wanted to get a last burger...
or two... <Does shifty eyes>
BurgerOffDude: 'What'll it be lads?'
Eighteen burgers with all the trimming please!
Boy11: 'Or two?' <Gives me a look>
Oh shush...
[We wait whilst they cook]
Boy11: 'So why are you shutting down?'
BurgerOffDude: 'What? We're not shutting down! We'll be here forever!'
Boy11: <Gives me a look of surprise>
Oh don't look so surprised...
<Takes burgers and runs>
<Is found in burger comma, it's not a pretty sight>

(... Yes that’ll do for the boy…
Now have you got anything big?)

All of them.
All three terrors are leaving their respective nursery, junior school and primary schools.
All on the same day. That is some hardcore crappy crap planning from Team Parents (yay!).
Take my advice. If and when you have children, if you can find them, hire the A-Team! Try to avoid having a three year split between them all.
It's pretty intense.

The main tale here is Boy11 is finishing primary school.
Six years he has been there. It was our first school as parents.
There's been plenty of ups and downs, good and bad. Loads of cool stuff. Some crappy crap stuff too.
But as I picked Boy11 up from his Year 7 disco last night. I realised that this was probably going to be the last time I would be on school grounds. Legally.
I did feel a little sad. I know the building well, I can get lost trying to get to any of the classroom in that building in a heartbeat. They have the greatest booze raffle stand I’ve ever seen. £5 in and you walk off with at least three bottles. They had a skateboard club!
All his first field trips happened there. A lot has happened.
<Pinches own leg in attempt not to cry>
<Ends up crying over pinched leg>

Boy11 has already got his leavers jumper.
The school did try and keep them until the end of term and away from the children because of the heat (the UK is actually hot at the moment). But then the school clearly caved as they rapidly changed their minds and they just handed them out.
If you don't know what a leavers jumper is it's like a replacement for getting all your mates to sign your shirt or blouse (I wore both).
Now instead they get a lovely hoodie with all their classes nicknames on, and a huge 18 for the leaving year. It's cool.
Boy11 loves the hoodie and wears almost constantly. He loves the new jumper smell on it.
Team Parent (yay!) have told him that if he wants to keep that smell, he has to avoid sleeping in it, leaving it on the floor in the mess of his bedroom, using it as a brakes when he sliding about, and just general don't mush it up. If you love it.
Good general advice for life I feel.

([At soft play]
ChargerPerson: ‘And how old is this boy? If he’s 11 that’s twice the price?’
No no, he’s definitely 10…
ChargerPerson: <Points at the jumper>
Oh that? We just love the number 18 in our house… Great number…
ChargerPerson: <Is suspicious>

It's going to be hard on Boy11.
Not everyone at his school is going onto the same secondary school as him. Most. But not all. And he's old enough to know what that means. What will happen. That he will probably never see some of them again. Or at least not for many years.
The mate he spent most of the disco with, having great fun with, is one of them.
I asked him in the car on the way back from the disco about it. And as he said that mate wasn't going to be at his school. I saw a quick flash in his eyes of regret and sadness, and a bit of anger at the world for taking his mate away.
I tried to explain why it was happening, but failed. Because really it's a bit daft. It’s just adult reasons. Nothing Boy11 will care about.
Instead I just watched him handle his emotions pretty darn well.

I feel the same when someone escapes leaves work.
They are just gone. The main reason that you saw each other has gone. The building you both visit daily. Has become two buildings, and they are not the same.
Sure you can try and keep in touch. But my horribly large age and oldyness tells me the chances of that happening is very low. And rarely happens.
<Wipes nose>

If I ask Boy11 how he feels about saying goodbye.
To the school, to the teachers, to some friends. He is quite sad about it.
Some teachers have made a mark on him. And he will miss them.
They have inspired him. Picked him up when he was down. Taxed him. Tested him. Been fun to be around.
But their days are numbered. The circles of life that they inhabit will soon change to the next lot. But such is the lot of teachers.
Always watching their charges moving on, saying goodbye.

Boy11 has already had his taster day.
For his new school. Annoyingly it was on the exact same day as Miss7's. Which gave Team Parent (yay!) a logistical issue.
i.e. how to be in two places at once. So we divided and conquered. BabyBoy4 was dropped off at nursery. I took Miss7 to her new school and Mrs. Amazing took Boy11 in, catching up with us later.
Mrs. Amazing said as she dropped him off at his new HUGE school with billions of kids in it, some sixteen, already with mortgages and premium bonds and stuff. Boy11 looked a little worried and unsure. Until he saw a friend.
Apparently the relief on his face was clearly visible. And then he was gone until 3pm.
He even walked home on his own.

The fact he can walk to and fro to school on his own.
Is brilliant! We love it! It is going to make the morning run so much easier. Oh sure we've still got two other monkeys to get to school and stuff. But not having to drive across town to drop Boy11 off is going make things so much simpler.
I know, I know. There will be new things coming. After school clubs, events, things we gotta attend still.
But not having to drive him about every mornings and afternoon AT THE EXACT SAME TIME as one of us needs to be getting Miss7. Well that's gonna be pretty sweet.

Of course I will miss it too.
Dropping Boy11 off at school was really good fun. It was nice to see his mates. And see his teachers.
It was ten minutes in the car where we could talk. Or more likely rock out to banging tunes on the radio. I also really enjoyed hanging about in the playground meeting the Mums and Dads doing the same. I've made loads of friends that way and enemies.
But that will now stop for Boy11. Sure I can still pounce of strangers meet new people when dropping off Miss7 and BabyBoy4. But for Boy11 that boat has sailed. The gates are shut. The football practice is over. The tokens have run out. Player 1 has no credits left.
<Weeps and goes off to play on computer>
Secondary school parents rarely set foot on school grounds.
It's true.

Boy11 has been getting me ready for this though.
Not on purpose obv. just in his natural getting older ways.
Somedays the morning drop off stopped being me getting out of the car and walking in with him. To me just letting him out of the door. And then me pulling faces at him as I drive off. Some things have to be done.
Then Boy11 was by my side cycling into school. Which we did four times, before a mate was added to the journey. And that happened once, and then I wasn't needed.
<Howls>
<But is secretly happy to be avoiding that huge amount of exercise>
Then suddenly Boy11 was scooting in on his own. Boy11's need for me or Mrs. Amazing to get him places, is dropping away very very very quickly.
He's now suggesting I don't need to get out of the car when I drop him off places.
A part of me could just weep. I am becoming a taxi service.

And secondary school is just going to make that worse.
The amount of times Team Parent (yay!) will be at the school will be dramatically less.
We just won't be needed so much. Well I hope not. I hope he behaves and we don't need to be visiting every other day.
<Shakes fist>
Boy11: <Is watching tele> 'WOT?'
Boy11: <Shakes fist back>

This morning was the last drop off.
Oh my heart. We chatted in the car and listened to 'All Right Now' by ‘Free’ as loudly as possible, both enjoying the awesome guitars and bass solo.
As we got closer to school Boy11 asked if I could pull over some five minutes away. So he could scoot in the rest.
It's way cooler to scoot in. I hear him. Rather than have his Dad hug him goodbye outside the school gates. Plus scooting in on your own steam is way cooler.
I agreed and was strong and was waving him goodbye when he stopped.
And said...

Boy11: 'This is the last drop off I've got with you isn't it Dad?'
Yep <Is holding back tears>
Boy11: <Smiles at me>
Have a good day! <Reining, reining them in>
Boy11: 'Love you Dad' <Scoots off>
<Has a moment to self in car and removes all the random dust and debris that had clearly instantly flown in my eye and was making my eyes water>
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14 February 2017

Me Do It!...

BabyBoy2 is changing.
He's now a lizard. He is shrugging off the shackles of being two.
Casting down the trappings of his body and its basic motor controls.
Throwing asunder the gentle and loving support from Team Parent (yay!).
Basically now he wants to do stuff, himself.
<Give you a look>

Which can presents a few problems.
Some stuff he can't do. He may be two and a decent blob of months.
But he is still not three. (the world opens up at three, think oyster ownership, the world MWAH HA HA HAAAaaaaa).
For instance, getting in the car...

<Carries BabyBoy2 to the car ready to plug him into his car seat>
BabyBoy2: 'NOOOOOOOOO!' <Wailing etc..>
Dude? What's up mate?
BabyBoy2: <Surprisingly strong little arms and legs locked rigid against the door frame>
Nice try! <Pushes really hard>
[POP!]
<Resists forcing him… I've got time...>
What's wrong? Use words. Tell me what's wrong? What do you want?
BabyBoy2: <Through snivels and tears> 'Me do it' <Wailing>
Oh... Crap. OK mate. <Puts little boy down on the floor in front of the car door>
<Notices huge streak of snot down jumper>
OK?
BabyBoy2: <Bottom lip is still wobbling, but nods>
<Watches BabyBoy2 climb into the car on his own>
<Is still waiting as the new millennium passes>
<Has regrets>
<Tea is probably cold>

It's hard to let go.
<Dons cape, Miss6 arrives by my side with cape ready, and off we run, arms up>
I can't hold it back anymore!!!
It's hard to let BabyBoy2 grow up sometimes. It's what I want. It's what he wants.
More importantly it's what he needs.
BabyBoy2 has to keep growing up. There are only so many nappies I want to change.
And as with Boy9 and Miss6, as they developed, games just got better and more fun...

Boy9 I think you are NOW ready for this
<Deals cards>
It's a game, which my elder brothers claim they made up...
<Is doing mystical voice>
I've never met anyone else that knows this game...
<Waves hand, mystically>
And no one knows where it came from...
Boy9: 'You just said your brothers made it up'
... Do you want to play or not?
Boy9: 'Sorry.. mystical...'
Yeah... <Thinks> Ohhh I've lost my thread now...
Anyway mystical stuff, oh 'er, special secret family stuff, it's awesome, you'll love it
Boy9: 'Cool. Let's play'
Yes mate! <Sits ready to play, cards in hand>
Boy9: 'How do you play?'
Oh right... Get comfortable...
[There's a card playing montage, laughs, fights, tears, concentrating, dramatic slow mos]
[Months pass, we play every night before bed, Boy9 slowly gets it, starts to understand the nuances (oh yes nuances) of the game, and he slowly becomes a convert player]
Boy9: '... And then I can lay this, that and this... Which means you have to pick up ten cards!'
<Grumpily picks up ten cards>
Boy9: '... And then I lay all of these... And I win!'
<Quietly> … yes...
Boy9: 'Again! That's every night this week I've won!'
Uh-huh... Whateves...
Boy9: 'Another game?'
Sure! But let's change game...
I'm thinking dead arm competition?

(Boy9: ‘So am I doing well Dad?’
… Yeah really well… Say did I tell you about the magic hand rule?
Boy9: ‘No?’
Well if you  got… hang on <Double takes on own cards> if you get these cards
<Shows my cards>
You instantly win ALL the chips and the game is over! Lucky me!!!
<Takes all the chips>)

It's really hard to let BabyBoy2 do stuff himself.
Actually it's not. Given all the time in the world. It would be easy to sit and watch him joyfully try and try again. Slowly mastering what I consider to be simple tasks.
But there's never enough time.
Team Parent (yay!) are always rushing. Unless the three terrors are in bed. Then we are pretty static to be honest.
But we need that too.
The rewards though for letting BabyBoy2 try are huge.
I only have to look at Miss6 and Boy9 to see them.
They, mostly, can dress themselves. Even if their fashion sense and practical sense may need some work...
It's brass monkeys out there…
Boy9: <Looks confused>
It’s very cold. Minus five degree (celsius)...
Boy9: <Looks shocked that weather even exists>
This <Points at his thin summer jacket> is not warm enough!
Boy9: <Has a bit of a paddy, there's an argument, at one point he has no coat on, eventually I get my way (the sensible way)>
Boy9: <Grumpily heads out to the car>
<Notices Boy9 has shorts on>
<Swears quietly into some coats a lot>
<Regains composure, leaves it to natural consequences>
Heh heh
(Tony: We’re never gonna find it... Do you even remember where you last saw it?
Geoff: My helmet? My spare totally white helmet? Designed to blend in with snow?
Tony: Yes… <Taps blaster rifle>
Geoff: In the snow…
[PEW! PEW! PEW!]
Tony: <Into radio> ...er… we’ve a man down here... )

But they can both do lots for themselves.
They can get toys out. Work the remote. Turn on the computer. Vaguely, with pushing and shoving, tidy stuff away. They can find my phone. BabyBoy2 is rubbish at finding things. He’s even worse than me (Lord of all bad findings).
They are both becoming autonomous the mouse leader of the Transformers.
It's great. It's what Team Parent (yay!) want.
It what should be happening.

But...
<Heart fills>
But he's so little. And he's my last little boy. I don't want to let go just yet.
With every new skill he gets. He moves further away from being my baby boy. And this part of my life. With very little children.
And it’s all ending and stuff… <Kicks ground, ignores pain>... faster than I want it to.
<Weeps BIG STRONG MAN TEARS, hell they're like buckets of water splashing on the desk BOOM BOOM, its actually impressive, if not a little apocalyptic>
<Blows nose like a herd of elephants>

I know. I know.
Gotta let him go. Gotta let him become more... urghhhh... independent.
<Spits>
However I don't actually and technically have to be happy about it. Do I?
<Grins>
We've still got many years together when BabyBoy2 is going to need me.
And I best make the most of them…

BabyBoy2: 'Trains' <Points at big heavy trains box>
Trains what?
BabyBoy2: 'Pardon? Sorrwe? ... Pweeease!'
I am late for work… More than normal….
<Gets down box and sits and plays>
<Is double late for work>

However what I want doesn't really matter.
BabyBoy2 has two elder siblings to learn from. He is practically racing along on some things.
Other things not so much, as he has less of Team Parent (yay!) focus.
He's still in nappies at night (WHICH IS FINE), but the other two were out of them by this age.
He's ready. It's us. We are dragging our feet a bit (WHICH IS ALSO FINE).
We can only do our best. Which we are doing.
Which is, say it with me, is fine.

Don't worry about BabyBoy2.
Being the third child has made him more than capable at developing at his own rate.
And, more importantly, being able to remind us he needs to keeps developing at his own rate.
He showed us very clearly the other morning.
It was 6:15 ARGHGHGH WHY! WHY! Go back to bed Miss6! and Team Parent (yay!) was listening to BabyBoy2 calling for us.
He's smart enough to alternate each parent.
He's knows one of us will crack at some point...

BabyBoy2: 'Mummeeeeeeeee... get out! Me get out? Get out? Mummmmeeee'
<No movement from Team Parent (yay!)>
BabyBoy2: 'Daddeeeeeee get out! Me get out? Daddeeeeeee? Pweeeeese? Me get out?'
<Still no movement from Team Parent (yay!)>
BabyBoy2: <Suddenly Quiet>
<Team Parent (yay!) sink back to sleep, BabyBoy2 is safely trapped in his cage cot>
...
<Miss6 is told to stop talking, it is still sleep time>
...
BabyBoy2: 'ME DID IT!'
<Both of Team Parent (yay!) eyes ping open>
Mrs. Amazing: 'Miss6, go see what BabyBoy2 has done...'

She will get there quicker than us.
And Miss6 can be trusted to asses the situation and report back.
She’s awesome like that.

[From the hallway]
Miss6: 'Oh! Well done BabyBoy2'
BabyBoy2: 'ME DID IT!'
<Thuds of Miss6 running back to report>
Miss6: 'BabyBoy2 has climbed out of his cot'
<Team Parent (yay!) look at each other, the dreadful ‘he can escape his cot! We're never going to be able to sleep again!’ truth sinking in>
Mrs. Amazing: <Quietly to me, so Miss6 doesn't hear> 'Craaaaa...'
...p.

X

(Those bars cost money you know… <Is cross>)