Twas the Night Before Secondary School...

It twas the night before Boy11 started Secondary school.

And all through the house, not a creature was stirring.

Not one of the terrors children, were out of bed.

They were all asleep.

Amazing.

I had been to Ninja training class.

Which is my weekly nod to being healthy. It kinda of works.

I do tend to come home super proud of myself. And then eat thousands of crisps. And chocolate. And cheese. And chocolate. Thus undoing all my good and exhausting work.

Normally my class is an hour and a half of pain. But fearing that it may harder to get Boy11 to sleep than Mrs. Amazing me on Xmas eve.

I came home early from class.

(Mrs. Amazing: ‘What you having for tea?’

<Whispers> Chocolate <Normal voice> salad!

Mrs. Amazing: ‘I heard that!’

<Runs Waddles>)

Mrs. Amazing: 'You're back early!' <Pushes all the chocolate wrappers off the table>

Yeah... I'm shattered. I think my knees hate me now.

Mrs. Amazing: 'Hard class?'

Yeah.... <Pulls self in using only lips>

<From floor> How was Boy11 getting to sleep tonight?

Mrs. Amazing: 'Fine'

That bad huh? Well it's no surp.... HANG ON? What did you say?

Mrs. Amazing: 'Fine!'

<Is shocked>

I was shocked.

Normally anything exciting happening and Boy11 struggles to sleep. Which is totes fair enough. Excitement affects us all in different ways. Some talk incessantly about it <Looks at Miss7>, some go all quiet and just want to be busy (me), some jump on furniture and shout in joy <Looks at BabyBoy4>, and some like winding everyone up by making weird noises, bugging siblings, and refusing to sleep <Looks at Boy11>.

I was happy for Mrs. Amazing and the calm bedtime she had had haddy had had. But a little puzzled why she was looking quite so eye-twitchy, I asked how the others were.

BabyBoy4 was fine. Yay!

Miss7 however...

Mrs. Amazing: <Mimes throttling>

And therein lies the rub of parenting with more than one child.

When the one behaves. The others seem to take it as a personal challenge to hold up the parental-irritation levels for the kids team. yay-love them.

However there was a reason. It had been Miss7's first day at her Junior school. She was pretty wired.

I'm not sure why, but I feel Miss7 has not got the attention she should have got for her first day. Don't get me wrong, Team Parent (yay!) were there in full force. All both of us (and BabyBoy4) dropped her off at the school in the morning.

It's just that it was overshadowed by Boy11's huge school change from Primary to Secondary. Miss7, in comparison, was just going from Infant to Junior.

And what can you say about that. Poor middle child.

<Feels her pain>

(<Dyes hair purple>

<Is called into a meeting at work>

<Is told hair is awesome>)

I am still amazed about Boy11.

So much was changing for him. New bag, new uniform, new school, new teachers, new kids at school, he got a COMPASS!

And there he was fast asleep. At a reasonable time. A-maze-bloody-ing.

Obvs. being the Boy11 that he is, he had packed and unpacked his rucksack a few times that night, and most nights that week. Which is fine. He was well prepared.

We had also practised his walk in, so he knew where he was going and stuff. We timed it.

How he was actually going in wasn't fully decided until that morning. Either a lift with Mrs. Amazing, or walk with mates. Boy11 choose a lift.

I wasn't there when this decision was made. But I am pretty sure that had Mrs. Amazing been free to express her feelings about his decision. Mrs. Amazing would have been cartwheeling and back-flipping around the house letting of fireworks.

I suspect she was happy to be involved.

I was not (involved).

My path and destiny that day lay elsewhere, I was starting my journey to the windy mountains.

Miss7 had her second day at Junior school and BabyBoy4 needed to be looked after.

As he didn't start school until the day after (oh flipping yes, what a week).

So me and Miss7 and BabyBoy4 waved Boy11 goodbye calmly and cooly to Boy11.

Oh who am I kidding. I hugged the crap out of Boy11.

As Boy11 climbed into the car. The excitement got to me. So I started to poke him, friendly style. Slapping his cheeks softly, friendly like. Basically using his little body as a drum. Boy11 laughed a lot. And it really eased my nerves. So that was good.

Not sure how healthy that is really.

But then I also think that is how boys communicate sometimes...

Yo bruv! <Gives bruv dead arm>

Bruv1: 'Yo back' <Punches me back>

You good? <Gives knee strike dead leg>

Bruv1: 'Yeah mate! Really good' <Thwacks me over the head>

Sorry can't stop <Flicks bruvs ear as leaving>

Bruv1: 'No worries, see ya soon <Leg sweeps me, missing, pretends to be stretching>

<Both leave and out of sight of each other, rub all injured parts>

(Didn't hurt! <Is lying>
Tis but a scratch)

Then with Boy11 gone.

Me and Miss7 and BabyBoy4 headed off. Fifteen minutes walk, BabyBoy4 on scooter, and I had left plenty of time. +10 Dad points.

Obvs. despite doing the walk the day before. We go the wrong way.

Miss7 insists the turning we want is the next. I swear it isn't and BabyBoy4 sides with Miss7.

Democratically out-voted we pass the turning I am sure is right: a) because I remember it from yesterday, and b) because lots of people with matching school uniform to Miss7 are heading that way.

We walk on to the next turning and it's a dead end.

I say nothing and graciously walk on totally not rubbing it in Miss7's face.

#GrownRightUp.

Me and BabyBoy4 drop off Miss7.

Who is fine. Probably a bit tired. But that what happens when you are a terror going to bed.

I imagine tonight will be better as she has lost her tele access tonight. And Miss7 hates that.

A normal and reasonable bedtime is highly expected for Miss7 tonight (it was <Team Parent (yay!) high five>).

And as me and BabyBoy4 walk / scoot away from the school. I notice I have enough time to get to work. And I am feeling good. Proud of me.

Emotionally, this morning, and the previous one, have been hard going. But I've kept my dignity and at no point have I been a howling weeping father fool. #Winning.

A few minutes up the road.

Mrs. Amazing comes into view. Which is a bit surprising, but she quickly explains nothing is wrong. Just fancied joining us. Lovely.

Then another Mum joins our little group, and there's a lot of excited adult chatting going on.

And I am engaged and enjoying a natter, watching BabyBoy4 near the roads, and chatting on and off with him about mad stuff. Hearing about Boy11 and how he met up with at least eight mates before going in.

And he was fine and happy. Which is a relief.

And all is good with the world. Team Parent seem to have nailed it, and nothing has gone wrong.

Then somethings makes my foot slips a little on the floor.

I look down.

Dog smegging poo. On my shoes. BabyBoy4 missed it. I had not.

<LOTS OF SWEARY WORDS ABOUT DOG OWNERS THAT DON'T CLEAN UP AFTER THEIR DOGS, ESPECIALLY NEAR SCHOOLS>

I try cleaning it off on grass. Obvs. grass is not really clearing it off. The wrong sort of trainer grips. I think BR made the trainers or something.

The thought of being able to smell poo on my trainers all day at work doesn't really appeal.

So I leg it back home, change shoes. And am late to work.

Finally I sit down at my desk and look at my screen.

And wonder how on earth, considering all that happened this morning, all the emotions and stuff that had been flying through, how in the name of Bacon sandwiches, was I supposed to concentrate on work all day.

<Watches clock until home time to hear about Boy11's day>

X

Everybody (the Kids) Change...

What a summer we had.

It's been awesome. The UK sun has been out in force and we have made the most of it.

I obviously have found it far too hot at times, and as always have been pining for my coat and long trousers. Stupid shorts with their rubbish pockets.

The three terrors have had plenty of outside adventures and fun. During which I have utterly butterly broken my knees playing with them, and keeping up with them. #WorthIt

And despite what they might say, they have all really bonded over the past six weeks...

(BabyBoy4? How’s your summer been?

BabyBoy4: <Gives one thumb up>

<Is chuffed> That’s high praise!)

I'll be back in twenty seconds, keep eating and behave...

<Runs>

Miss7: 'Boy11 is looking at me!'

Boy11: 'I am not' <Is looking at Miss7>

BabyBoy4: <Punches with teeny fists Boy11>

Boy11: 'OW! Take that'

BabyBoy4: 'WAHHHH!'

Miss7: 'STOP LOOKING AT ME' <Screams and knocks her plate off the table>

Boy11: <Steals Miss7's crisps>

WTAF? I've only been gone fifteen seconds!

<Picks up BabyBoy4>

<Glares at Boy11>

<Moves Miss7 into my seat and gives her my food>

<Frowns at them all>

<Creaks a lot as sits>

But the summer holidays are now done.

No more lazy days in the sun building camps from sheets.

No more movie marathons in the mornings and no one getting dressed at all.

No more just playing. At least until next summer holidays that is.

No, now it's all change.

Everyone is changing schools and there's a fair bit of concern, anxiety and excitement going on. New drop off times and places.

And smeg load of new uniforms, stationary, no books weirdly, we’ve had to buy. Sigh.

Each child is dealing with the changes it in their own way.

Boy11

He's got the biggest change of all. From Primary to Secondary school.

Boy11 is going from being one of the oldest in the school to the youngest. Which should be a shock.

If I cast my mind back the few millennia to when I did that, I remember being shocked by it all. The older boys were huge, basically giants, and everything was so big. Even the chairs are suddenly adult sized.

I remember there being so many people all the people so many people. I had come from a tiny village Primary school, straight into an enormouse secondary school. I doubt I had ever seen so many children at one time before.

My first week of school I remember being very confusing as a lot of information was thrown at me, and I got lost a lot. My timetable I recall was super important to me at the time.

It was the only piece of information that was mine that I understood.

But I do recall that first week being pretty fun too. Being allowed to use flames in the science labs, cooking in a oven, being allowed to use the power tools in CDT. All pretty damn cool stuff. They let throw javelins! BONZA!

And that is what I have been filling Boy11's head with - the cool stuff that school is about to let him do.

Of course I shan't mention that in my first week of school I was set upon by a load of fifth years and was handcuffed to the goal posts on the field.

There's no need for him to know that. (I got out very quickly and conversely made a fifth year friend from it, who smuggled chocolate out of the fifth years canteen for me which was cool. Funny how things turn out).

Plus times have changed. I think. I am sure that nothing like happens any more.

The main message I've been giving to Boy11 is how cool it is going to be, and to make the most of everything they are going to offer him.

I feel I didn't make the most of secondary school when I was there. If I can help steer him away from my mistake, I will.

It might work.

Miss7

She's got the simplest of moves. As Miss7 is just changing one school for another, from Infant to Junior. All her mates will be with her. It's just a different building and new teachers.

She’s still got worries though, poor sausage. It just the change, the unknown.

It’s easy to forget what a worry that can be to children. I know because I totally forgot and it was Mrs. Amazing that reminded me.

Luckily Miss7 loves school and will be delighted to be back again. She has been working through the workbooks we give with desire and a genuine joy of learning. Bless her.

Long may that reign.

I still get to drop her off for school a few mornings a week.

Me and BabyBoy4 will see her to school first, before then doubling back for BabyBoy4's drop off. I am looking forward to the drop offs again. Yes really.

To be honest at the end of term when the drop offs stopped. I was hella glad.

I needed a break from them.

But after a weeks of just working and not taking anyone to school and stuff. Well I started missing them. It's gonna be fun!

Maybe…

WHY IS NO ONE DRESSED? WE’RE FIVE MINUTES TO GET THERE!

<Is attacked by naked children, giggling>

<Everyone is late>

BabyBoy4

In some ways he's got the biggest change ever. He's going from Nursery to Primary.

From not at school. To at school. Ooooo.

BabyBoy4 is really excited and I think it's because it's not the unknown for him, he’s going to Miss7’s previous school. It finally his time to go to school, just like Boy11 and Miss7 have been doing for years. I'm pretty sure he's just gonna be glad to be part of the 'School' gang. (Obvs. that joy may only last a day).

Team Parent are pretty sure he's ready. Can get dressed. Can use toilet. Can recognise on name. Can be trusted to only jam one nostral with pasta.

Because in the last six months he's suddenly grown up loads. Any lingering babiness has gone. <Howls>

Well except for when he wants to use it to get what he wants, obvs.

He's no fool...

Dude. Sit in the middle of your seat, or you'll fall off?

BabyBoy4: <Shakes head>

Well you've been warn...

BabyBoy4: <THUD> 'WAHHHHHHH'

What did I tell you fool <Scoops him up in my arms and kisses his tiny little bopped head>

And me?
BrainZilla: 'You talking to yourself again?'
Shhhhh <Punches self in head>
BrainZilla: 'Shall do'

Well I am looking forward to making new friends in the playground when I drop off BabyBoy4 for school. Bit worried I'm gonna get lost and take the wrong child to the wrong school.

Probably gonna forgot everything they need four million times in the first week. If I'm concentrating.

Hope work doesn't give me detention for being late.

(But it wasn’t my fault I’m late…

I had to drink all the wine last night…)

I am sure we’ll all be fine.

My thoughts are mostly going to be with Boy11 as he starts this whole new chapter. He is going to need the most support as school switches from learning with fun, to learning a lot.

But I'll be keeping an eye on BabyBoy4 and how he's doing, and whether he's happy in school. And Miss7 obvs.

Something tells me I'm going to be doing a lot listening when I get home each day.

I can't wait!

Good luck terrors. Team Parent (yay!) are right behind you!

X

Epilogue:

So is Boy11 old enough to look after the others yet?

Mrs. Amazing: 'Not really'

I was just thinking... If we left him with the others... we could... <Winks suggestively>

Mrs. Amazing: 'Wouldn't they hear us?'

What? From the pub? No <Is confused>

Mrs. Amazing: 'Oh right, and no we can't do that'

Shame...

... <Brain is working>...

HANG ON! What were you thinking we could do?

Mrs. Amazing: <Runs>

Out of Time...

I so want to be a good Dad.

<Crosses fingers>

And be there for all three of them. In their lives. Connected.

Some days I feel I do this.

And others... Well other days I fail and that sucks.

This week.

Team Parents (yay!) main focus has been on Boy10. As he is sitting his Key Stage 2 SATs tests (exams) whilst being whipped by the education flail of pigeonholing and self esteem destruction.

And I've upped my game and attention on him.

Before he left for school I picked him up, and balanced him on my shoulder.

Then spun him round and round really fast, pretending that his head was gonna smack on a wall (it wasn't). And for good measure I did a few huge little jumps with him over my shoulder.

Classic Dad stuff. That is like crack to Boy10. And relieves any tension in him through fun and laughter. My special powers skills.

Then when I got home from work on his first day of exams. I told to him grab a ball and we headed off to a field to practice catches for ten minutes.

Boy10 loved that.

(Michael: “I sat there looking ugly, looking ugly and mean

I knew what you were saying, You were saying to me…”

(treat your ears here: Me In Honey))

As for Miss6 and BabyBoy3 that day.

Well BabyBoy3, the utter little delight that he is, had me up at 5am. Joy.

And after an hour of returning him to bed, despite him being utterly, utterly awake, and finding the whole process hilarious.

I gave up and we went downstairs, as quiet as mice, to watch cartoons.

At least that was the plan...

I give up! Come on then... Let's go watch cartoons...

But we have to very very very VERY quiet. Boy10 needs his sleep...

BabyBoy3: 'OK DADDY!'

Shhhhhh

BabyBoy3: 'SHHHHHHH!'

Dude!

BabyBoy3: <Covers little mouth with hand>

Better... Let's go...

[THUD, THUD, THUD]

Maybe you should just walk down the stairs...

BabyBoy3: 'OK DADDY!'

Shhhhhh

BabyBoy3: 'SHHHHHHH!'

<Grumbles>

And as for Miss6.

Well that morning of the week is ours. It’s the one day everyone else naffs off.

And we get a full thirty minutes in the house together.

Alone...

What do you want to play?

Miss6: 'Game of Life?'

Boy10's 'Game of Life'?

Miss6: <Nods>

It's fine, just wanted to make sure you knew...

We've only thirty minutes, you gotta be utterly, UTTERLY, ready before we start?

Miss6: <Nods and runs off to get ready>

[Thirty minutes later]

Let’s go then… Hang on! <Notice’s Miss6 is in jammies for the first time>

YOU’RE NOT READY!

[Lots of running about]

[Both are late]

So yesterday win!

Full sweep. Every child got some focused Dad attention. I even found time to sit and watch tele with Mrs. Amazing.

Whilst eating. Planning out our lives over the next few weeks.

A brief hour of time with all children in bed, when neither of us are too tired to talk, and are not actually sleeping.

Special moments.

But today.

Well I thought it was going well.

To add spice to Boy10's leaving for school rough play: I chased him full pelt through the house. Shoes on and all.

Ending up with me bundling on him on a bed. Boy10 giggling away.

Job well done I felt. Although there were was one scary moment when I rounded a corner at top speed and my not-quite-twenty <Coughs a lot> frame nearly didn't manage to turn in time. Before a wall. But I soon shrugged off that pain.

<Weeps and limps off>

(Boy10: 'Are you OK DAD?'

<Whimpering sounds>)

I spent some good time with Miss6.

As we, and BabyBoy3, scooted into school. It wasn't great time for BabyBoy3 as he was crying and wailing most of the way. Because he wasn't in the lead.

As Miss6 wasn’t letting him be in the lead. She kept scampering to the front. Much to BabyBoy3’s annoyance. And continual tears.

I'm afraid I wasn't very sympathetic as he was making us all late. Well except him, nursery don't care when he rocks up. We pay them a lot.

But my boss and Miss6’s school very much do care.

It wasn’t all bad for BabyBoy3 though.

As we arrived at nursery he smelt crumpets in the air. Which cheered him considerably. Second, and possibly third breakfast can have that effect.

Bless.

I like hot crumpets too.

<Grins>

Then I missed another chance to spend time with BabyBoy3 at lunch.

My parents were at my place looking after him and I only had an hour for lunch.

And it's such a treat to see both my parents, and to chat to them both.

And they won't be here forever...

<Checks watch> Another cuppa?

Parents: 'Isn't it a bit late for caffeine'

YES! FAR TOO LATE. Especially when you have young children. This time of night is basically the morning for ...

Parents: 'Go on then...'

<Mutters off to make cuppa>

So sadly once again BabyBoy3 was sidelined.

I hate having to make that kind of decision. But I only see my parents for an hour a week.

And to be fair BabyBoy3's around a lot more than that...

But then his need for my time is greater…. ARGHGHGHH!

Why is there no answer for this!!!

Anyway, moment with him not taken.

Then we were onto the evening.

Miss6 had already mentioned that she was looking forward to story time with me.

Which is nice. Although she only seems to say that on the one night a week I go out.

My night. My one evening a week to myself, that I prioritise above everything else. Ish.

Learning to be a ninja classes.

Being able to sing full volume in the car for the hour it takes me to drive. Is worth it alone.

Being able to punch and kick the crap out of a bag and sometimes people, whilst waving swords and sticks about, WHILST learning how to be ninja...

Frankly how could I not go.

(Scale 1:1)

Still it makes the evening tight (time wise).

Especially as Boy10 still needed to be taken out to play ball or something.

Boy10 gets his time with me outside. He is calmed.

Miss6 gets a whopping twenty minutes of my time before I leave. In which I make sure I am extra funny. Extra caring.

And I let her jump on my tummy and squish me an extra time.

Then I'm off to ninja training.

By the time I've got back.

Washed. Calmed down. Eaten something. It's generally close to midnight.

Which is so unbelievably late going to bed in our 5am starts lifestyle. It's a wonder I can still move.

As I crawl into bed.

Body half broken from class. Hella tired out. And tummy full of crisps pasta and salad.

I'm feeling pretty good about how I've spread my time with everyone today.

Been good son. CHECK.

Been good Dad. CHECK.

Went to work, didn't get fired. CHECK.

Made self healthier and learnt new killing methods. CHECK.

Phoned at least one brother. CHECK!

Yep, nailing it!

But then, just as sleep has nearly scooped me in her lovely arms and whispered naughty things my ear. Mrs. Amazing wonders to me if BabyBoy3 will be feeling better tomorrow...

... What?

Mrs. Amazing: 'He's been poorly all day, I wonder if he'll be OK tomorrow for nursery?'

I... I didn't know he was poorly... Crap...

<Is attacked and eaten by guilt monster>

I obviously don't sleep for a bit.

However an hour later. I've worked out a few things:

1. I should have noticed BabyBoy3 was poorly. Bugger.

2. Three kids is hard. Harder than it appeared when BabyBoy3 first turned up. Being outnumbered is exhausting.

3. The Cat is a git. Because he didn't really want to come in, but is now being a smegger downstairs and I'll have to go let him out.

4. I do not have enough time to give everyone the time and attention I want to. Or they need.

Conclusion:

I can change 1) & 3) and make sure they don't happen again.

I can't change 2). I can just rest more. Somehow.

And 4) well...

That's the whole point of this tale.

I don't have enough time for them all. I don't. There's three of them.

Me and Mrs. Amazing barely scrape together a hour a day together.

And I certainly don't have enough time for all the things I want to do. Which always seem to be last in priority. But that's OK.

Really. It's OK...

Brainzilla: 'It's not OK you know?'

Shhhh it is...

Brainzilla: 'But our dreams? Our plans?'

Can wait. Or have changed...

Brainzilla: 'BOLL-'

Hey, hey, keep it clean please!

Brainzilla: 'OCKS!'

<Tuts>

It is OK.

Because this mad, busy to the eyeballs, no sleep, life, will pass. It'll change. Stuff always does. At some point I'll / we'll have a chance to catch up. Hopefully.

And if not? Well at least I tried my best and had as much fun as possible along the way…

KIDS! TO ME!

<Kids all assemble>

Nerf war? Water fight? Or just a bundle on the sofa here? <Points to sofa>

[Intense kids discussion]

<Is dragged onto sofa>

<Is shot at, soaked and jumped on>

<Is happy>

X

(OK let’s have a water pist….

BABYBOY3 WHERE THE BANJO DID YOU GET THAT PISTOL?

<Mutters>… Mine’s tiny compared to that…)