She's Seven...

It's not much of a change.

Six to seven. It's only one day that elapses. Which seems very easy and very manageable.

No need for having a bit of a moment as Team Parent (yay!) made birthday plans for Miss6. <Sobs>

But despite my wish to stop time and keep Miss6 forever. The latest version of Miss6 arrived.

The upgrade. The new improved model.

Miss7...

Miss7: 'Brilliant! I'm seven! What can I do now?'

Miss7: 'What new skills do I get? Any powers yet?'

Er... You get the power of better concentration! <Tries to make it sound fun>

Miss7: <Is not convinced> '...and...'

Er... You get to manage your temper and emotions better! Yay!

Miss7: 'What, like Boy10 does?'

Fair point... er... you got new shoes with wheels in them (Heelys)! Yay!

Miss7: 'They are cool... And look what I can do!'

Miss7: <Rolls along a bit, then falls over>

THAT'S AMAZING! YOU ARE BRILLIANT!

<Scoops up big seven year old in my arms, that is actually still quite little and is surprisingly easy to scoop>

Let’s go get you and me some chocolate shall we!

I thought you were really getting it that time!

Miss7: <Is happy>

(Er... You might wanna move the balloon a bit…

Yep! That’s it!!!)

It does feel like a new frontier though.

Everything is about to change. I can just feel in the air. Miss7's relationships to her friends and her family are all about to change. She's becoming more aware of the world around her. My Dad alarms are going off pretty much daily.

They are telling me something. And I think it's pretty simple.

Miss7 isn't such a little girl anymore she's a rampaging monster.

But that's just my thoughts.

Based on the slice of Miss7's life I get to see. I get the weekends. And as I work (I do) 9-5:30 weekdays. Means I get a few hours in the morning with her, and then maybe an hour with her in the evening. Which isn't exactly golden time as Miss7, like her brothers, are knackered out by that time of day. And just want cartoons, maybe warm milk, and a bedtime story.

Being a kid does sounds sweet sometimes...

Hey! Why don't I get a bedtime story?

Mrs. Amazing: 'What?'

The kids get a bedtime story... I like stories... Where's mine?

Mrs. Amazing: 'YOU want a story?' <Rolls up sleeves> 'Right!' <Looks a bit annoyed>

<Regrets asking almost instantly>

Mrs. Amazing: 'Once upon a time, there was a grown man that asked his busy and hard working wife for a bedtime story. And later that night he was beaten to death with HUG, The Ravenous Beast, The Gruffalo and every single Mr. Sodding-man and Little Miss. Annoying books she could find. And the wife lived happily ever after. The End.'

...

...

...

I'm just going to pretend you said no nicely and just go to sleep now...

Mrs. Amazing: 'You do that'

Zzz... <Is secretly reading 'Little Rabbit Foo Foo' under the sheets>

Anyhoo...

So as I hate those blogger birthday lists that get all mushy, and are basically a long lost of why a parent loves their child.

Here's my traditional list of things you probably didn't know about Miss6.

1. Miss6 has mad hiding skills.

Miss6's hiding skills have gone through the roof (they are very good).

She is an absolute master of hiding in plain sight. I think it's something to do with her clothes blending in with all the fabric around the house. <Gives Mrs. Amazing a look>

Recently we all played hide and seek. And whilst Boy10 is a hella genius at squeezing into spaces I don't expect him to able to fit in, Miss6 has surpassed him, hiding skillswise.

Miss6 doesn't do anything complex. She just finds somewhere a bit messy and stays still. Her hair covering her face. Clothes blending in.

And smeg it if I can't find her.

If she didn't giggle and call out 'Cock-coo' I swear I'd never find her.

These very useful skills Miss6 uses on me during bedtime.

I can be following her from the bathroom to her bedroom. A foot behind. Round a corner... and BOOM she's gone. I've lost her.

I look for a while. Get a bit frustrated. Call her name. And then like the Predator coming out of the water.

She appears...

Miss6: 'BOO!'

ARGH! Where did you come from? <Clutches heart>

Miss6: <Crouches down again to demonstrate>

WHAT THE SMEG! WHERE DID YOU GO!!! She's a WITCH!

Of course.

And I am sure Mrs. Amazing will back me up on this.

Miss6's skills at hiding do need to be tempered by my legendary skills at looking for stuff.

I have poor skills...

WHERE THE SMEG IS OUR CAR?

Mrs. Amazing: <Gives me a worried look and just points a foot in front of me>

Mrs. Amazing: 'There'

OH! Right... Thanks... <Mumbles stuff about ninja cars and just gets in>

2. Miss6 sings with headphones on.

I know.

That probably sounds really annoying. And I am sure if it was Boy10 it would be really annoying. In fact I know I've told him not to. As it was really annoying.

But for a few reasons Miss6 is not annoying about it.

a) She doesn't do it right in your face whilst your watching your favourite program on tele. Miss6 can just be found walking about the house, playing, singing away.

b) Her volume is just quiet enough. So you can hear it, but it doesn't grate.

c) Her singing is not constant. As Miss6 only seems to know a few lines of a song, chorus obvs.

d) And this is the real seller. There is so much passion and hand gestures when she does sing, it's brilliant. You know how you (and I) dance when a 80's classic comes on? It's that level of passion.

Brilliant.

(You know this doesn't count as swimming?

Miss6: 'I'm watching Octonauts, it's underwater'

Right... <Is confused>)

3. Miss6 can stiiiiiiill only swim 10m.

Which isn't entirely true.

Just last week Miss6 produced her personal best of 12m without drowning. I was so proud.

I take Miss6 swimming once a week, when she's not ill, I'm not ill, and neither of us are busy and Mrs. Amazing is not going out, on a Sunday morning. So probably twenty times last year.

What I sneakily do is watch the swimming teachers already in the pool and copy what they do. So I feel my lessons haven't been completely awful. There's been content.

But for some reason Miss6 hit a wall. 10m, and got no further all year.

Despite the enormous carrot of a brand new swimming badge should she do it, me cheering her massively, and an adult sized milkshake from the milkshake shop (McRonalds)...

LifeGuard: 'Hey! You! I've told you before, no giant inflatable vegetables in the pool!'

<Sticks out tongue> Oh right... Sorry...

<Leaves pool with Miss6 and giant inflatable carrot>

4. Miss6 spills non-spilling bottles of water regularly.

She even has a towel next to her bed for this, I've had words.

I don't doubt Mrs. Amazing has had words too.

Words along the line of 'You're seven! Even your little brother doesn't spill his water at night, what on earth are you doing?',those kind of words.

Of course Miss6 says sorry and she will try really hard not to do it again.

But still. It happens.

5. Miss6 finally won her first ‘Mario Kart’ race.

Which I am very proud of her for.

I’ve no idea what changed. As until recently she drove like a drunken one armed, dwarf, with inner ear issues (badly). Weaving about the road back and forth, until finally getting lost on a one-way track (??).

She went from never actually finishing <Gives you a look> to mostly 3rd, sometimes 2nd, and run and tell Daddy when it happens, BOOM POW! 1st!

I am very proud.

6. Miss6 is faster than you at ‘Head, Shoulder, Knees and Toes’ with actions.

She is. She's hella quick at it.

We had a New Years party. There was a who can do 'Head, Shoulder, Knees and Toes’ with actions, fastest competition. Miss6 beat everyone. Adults too. By a lot.

If you ever need to see H.S.K.&T with actions done at an incredible speed.

You know who to ask. Her manager.

7. Miss6 is fearless with sauces and condiments.

This is in stark contrast to Boy10.

Who refuses food unless it is chips or sandwiches. May consume a roast if he's in the mood, but don’t count on it.

Miss6 in contrast not only tries and likes most food. She also loves all the sauces and condiments Team Parent (yay!) have. Mustard, horseradish, mayo, brown sauce, soy sauce, pickles, chutneys etc... You name, she'll try it.

Bravo Miss6, bravo.

8. Miss6 makes treasure bags at a industrial scale now.

Treasure bags (as mentioned in ‘Bouncy or Not?’) sound lovely don’t they?.

But they're not. No no. They are the bane of Mrs. Amazing's life.

A treasure bag is a bag into which has been put billions of little things.

All from somewhere else. And at first they might all seem unconnected, but Miss6 will have a theme she is rocking that day.

Only problem is that it would've taken Miss6 most of the day collecting these things. It will take Team Parent (yay!) most of the night to put them back. <Grumbles>

Miss6 has increased her production of treasure bags to a new record output.

I came home the other day to find Miss6 loading BabyBoy3 car with at least ten treasure bags. Not little play bags. No.

Full sized bag-for-life bags. Full of crap.

I was pretty miffed.

But that was nothing compared to what Mrs. Amazing would say...

OMFB! <Shakes head> Are all these treasure bags?

Miss6: <Looking proud> 'Yes!'

You're going to die. Look. We have to get this cleared away before your mother gets in and sees... well... this...

<Motions at neatly bagged wrong sorted mess>

... but we've only ten minutes...

Miss: <Is now seeing the problem> <Face goes pale>

There's no other choice... Take this <Passes fake passport>

Your name is now Mungo Bungo and I'll see you two years times when this has all blown over. ... We'll miss you... I love you...

Miss6: <Runs>

Boy10: 'Can I have her LEGO?'

Give it a while...

[A second passes]

Boy10: 'Now?'

9. Miss6 does the press-up & sit-up challenge with me.

A bit random this.

I wanted a way to curb my Christmas waistline issue. As it was November.

And I needed a morning training partner. Boy10 I guessed wouldn't be keen. As it would affect his YouTube watching time.

And I thought well why not with Miss6 <Slaps thigh>. The worst that could happen is that she would become healthy and strong.

Win win.

So the rule is we do one extra repetition every day. We manage four days in a row. We do four reps.

(Note, I did check it was safe for her frame to be doing press-ups and sit-ups. It is).

Our personal best so far is nineteen days in a row.

Which means Miss6 did nineteen press-ups (very iffy ones to be honest), and nineteen sit-ups (very good ones).

I am so damn proud of her for that.

10. Miss6 still does what she wants.

She is not a follower. She is a not sheep.

If she doesn't want to do something, she cares not if others are. Her choices are for her.

Really I wish I could be that free. To just do what I want with worrying what my peers are doing.

Amazing.

Of course this does lead to some 'issues' parenting her...

GET DRESSED!

Miss6 : 'NO!' <Runs, gets even more naked, and hides>

NO! SHE'S DISAPPEARED AGAIN!!!

11. She's quite, quite, mad.

(Go get dressed for a Nerf war! It needs to be protective but look hella cool!

Miss6: 'Tada!

Mission accomplished! <High Fives>

Armed and fabulous darling! <Regrets the heel kick>)

Thank you Miss6 it's been utterly amazing.

A real honour.

I've trepidation about your sevens to be honest. My amazingly bad knowledge of aged seven girls I fear will start working against me very soon. But I am very optimistic as well.
I'm sure it's going to a blast.

And funny. Really funny.

One song sums up Miss6 for me.

It is 'It's Magnificent (She Says)' by the amazing 'Elbow', who I love.

Best you listen rather than read about it.

Take it away Sir Guy...

Goodbye to lovely Miss6 and hello, wotcha, about time, hi, to the amazing and fabulous Miss7!

Long may she reign.

X

Epilogue:

I really did have a bit of moment when planning Miss6's birthday party with Mrs. Amazing.

It just kind of hit home in my head that my little six year girl was suddenly going to be seven.

And seven feels really big and grown up, and I know it's silly to think that.

I love being in her life soooo much. We have so much fun together. And I know as she gets older I'll be less and less involved.

So in that moment as we planned a party. I faltered and it hit me. No actual tears, I would just like to clear that up.

But some serious throat clearing.

But Mrs. Amazing noticed...

Mrs. Amazing: 'You OK?'

<Is squinting> Yeah... Just sad that this part of her life has past, if you know what I mean...

Mrs. Amazing: 'Yeah... but snap out of it we've got eleven...'

Eleven? I thought only eight were coming?

Mrs. Amazing: 'No Miss6 invited more people...'

Really? Shesh...

Mrs. Amazing: 'And we've only an hour before I will crash out to plan the entire party for twelve, themed on a book, none of her friends have ever read'

Mrs. Amazing: <Seriously sups wine>

<Glugs Guinness>

Mrs. Amazing: 'And I doubt us having started drinking is going to help is it?'

<Re-glugs Guinness>

I'm thinking lasers, ropes hanging from the ceiling and a klaxon going off, indoor fireworks, and maybe a shot bar?

Mrs. Amazing: <Moves away my Guinness> '... Very much no'

Right... How about I make Fairy sandwiches?

Mrs. Amazing: <Moves back Guinness> 'Good idea!'

X

Man Down... (Part 2)...

So there I was surrounded by wolves.
Ten, maybe twenty, thousand of them. All armed with spoons. My arrow quiver had just replied to my question of how arrows were left with a rather rude, 'You're going to die fat boy'. Things looked bad.

It was then that I decided that I had had had enough...

Hang on! That's the wrong tale. Doh! <Slaps forehead>

You'll have to forgive me, never done one of these two-parters before....

I assume you've read the first part, ‘Man Down (Part 1)...’, so lets carry it on from there...

ROLL IT! (Always wanted to say that)...

So there I was.

Post puking. Feeling all kinds of yukky.

Miss6 seemed to be fine despite having had to watch her father be sick whilst trapped in the car. At least my back was turned. And it was dark. Poor love.

But otherwise everyone else in the house seemed fine, with no tummy bugs to be heard of.

Except for BabyBoy3.

(Oh! they look fun to play with! YAY! <Starts playing>

<Is very sick>)

Who was acting a bit crazy.

Just coz. Every now and then he would cough and everyone in Team Parent (yay!) would jump the moment his little cough seemed to sound even a teeny bit retchy. On tenterhooks we both were, expecting the worst.

Well mainly Mrs. Amazing. As I was slumped on the sofa looking sad and poorly.

Inside I was there with her, ready to clean up puke, and to look after poorly children.

But on the outside I was definitely sat on the sofa resting watching the madness.

The madness went like this.

BabyBoy3 running about the place, definitely on puke watch.

Miss6 tired out from roller skating and possibly traumatised from seeing her Dad have a food escape moment.

And Boy10 who had been out doing cool sports stuff with his peers. And as such had come back rosy cheeked, tired out, and full of so much sass I am surprised it wasn't pouring out of his ears.

Bedtime was gonna be fun!

Did you have a good time?

Boy10: 'Wouldn't you like to know!'

... Er.. Yes please!

<Is ignored>

Did you have fun with your mates?

Boy10: 'Oh you'd like that wouldn't you?' <Tuts>

Yes... that's why we send you there... to have fun... <Is confused>

<Is meanly ignored>

OK then mate <Breathes>... Awesome though these chats are, it's bedtime!

Boy10: <Explodes in a ball of fury and flames>

... righhhhhhht...

<Runs>

Obv. bedtime wasn't fun.

Poor Mrs. Amazing was utterly abandoned by everyone else in Team Parents (yay!). As with a stomach bug I cannot touch anyone, or anything that anyone else uses. Everything I touch needs to be cleaned.

Which may seem extreme but one child sick in the house is a huge nightmare.

Two is (which has happened) is horrid and puts a huge strain on us and the washing machine.

And well three children being sick at the same time is something to be avoided at all costs.

ALL COSTS. <Gives you a stern look>

So I was sidelined.

I could direct. Give verbal clues. But really I was feeling crapo and wasn't thinkingning goodly muchness. And definitely no touchy.

So really any help I could give was pants. Hence I was sidelined and left to catch up on MasterChef from three months ago whilst Mrs. Amazing tried to put the terrible three to bed solo. (That's Han, not Ben).

(No touchy! Unless you’re a Llama… in which case enchanté...)

Poor Mrs. Amazing.

They did not behave very well at all. BabyBoy3 spent thirty minutes getting out of bed and running about upstairs having a great laugh.

Miss6 kept appearing at the top of the stairs complaining of: too much darkness, not enough darkness, being too hot, being cold, saw a spider, a gnat, Boy10 woke her up, this bit of her lip hurts, that knee doesn’t like the other one. And my favourite she was tired. <Gives you a look>

Boy10 seemed to be trying to make as much noise as possible, due to his high levels of sass and excited energy. Thus potentially waking Miss6 and BabyBoy3 (who weren't sleeping anyway), with everything he did...

Up the stairs: THUD THUD THUD

Putting on jammies: THUD, CRASH, THUD THUD

Brushing teeth: BZZZZZZ (electric toothbrush), THUD THUD, CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK (light switch), LOUD SINGING

Response to being told to be quiet: THUD THUD THUD, mildly quieter but still very much LOUD SINGING

Impromptu Trombone practice: WAH WAH Wahhh wahhhhhhh...

Response to being told to go to bed: THUDY-THUDY-THUD-THUD (skipping), lots of Nerf-rifle cocking sounds

Two hours later.

Mrs. Amazing finally sat down on the sofa next to me. Not close as I have lurgi (which is a word Spike Milligan and Eric Sykes made up! For reals, check it here).

I ask how bedtime went (yes I'm brave).

Mrs. Amazing said she was going onto Instagram and was going to be some time.

Fair play.

For four days I rested and recovered.

Unable to eat at all. Except for some cheese on toast, a packet of mini Cheddars, some bacon flavour crisps, and many peanut butter sandwiches. Not even my favourite life-sustaining nectar of the gods, a cup of tea, was sitting very well in my stomach. <Weeps>

And my love, my darling, my best friend, my chocolate cupboard had to part ways...

I'll always love you! <Strokes cupboard>

No don't be like that, it's not my fault! I have to, you see that don't you?

I have to!!! <Breaks down in tears, banging fists on cupboard>

Boy10: <Walks into kitchen sees me talking to cupboard>

Boy10: <Turns around instantly and runs>

If I was looking for a post Xmas crash diet.

My dreams were being answered. Weight was leaving me rapidly as I wasn't eating much.

I even got something that all parents crave for. Peace and quiet and time to do stuff. Albeit in bed.

True I felt like hurling during most of it. But I read a book. Two actually. I researched holidays on my phone. I got to do all those things I normally can't find time to cram in.

So from one point of view, this tummy bug was a blessing in disguise.

A much needed rest for me and some me-time for me, me.

But there was more.

Nope not puke. Although there was a repeat performance of that, as I brushed my teeth. The mint set me off again. yay.

No. The worst part of being sick was that first night.

Mrs. Amazing had decided to sleep downstairs.

Away from Captain Chunder (me). Fair enough. I could sleep star shaped, more so. And she wouldn't catch anything. Plus if all of Team Parent (yay1) were sick… then what would happen? Bedsheeplam.

The plan was that when BabyBoy3 or Miss6 woke up during the night. I could just calmly tell them where Mrs. Amazing was, and they would go find her for cuddles and general putting back to bed. I Obv. couldn't put them back to bed, as I had the pox. No touchy.

The plan worked fine with Miss6. Who turned on heels a bit quicker than I would have liked to be honest.

Off she went.

BabyBoy3 on the other hand.

Wasn't having any of it.

You ever seen one of those films where a character befriends a wild animal and then takes it back to wild, only to have the animal refuse to be free. With character now shouting, maybe throw sticks and stones, saying ‘get’ a lot.

Yeah? Well this was exactly the same.

But Obv. without the shouting, sticks and stones, and saying get.

I'm not a monster (except in 90% of all chase games with Miss6 and BabyBoy3).

BabyBoy3 appeared in Team Parent (yay!)'s bedroom at midnight.

And stood at the end of the bed. I reminded him that I was sick and cannot put him back to bed. But no worries, Mrs. Amazing is downstairs, go find her.

BabyBoy3 didn't move.

I repeat what I said slowly and clearer. BabyBoy3 simply replies with one word. Hug.

He's got his teddy bear in his arms, and cute factor wise, out of ten, he's probably rocking a fifty.

I say again I am sick and I can't put him back to bed. And I'm sorry, I really am.

My insides are being torn apart as for the entirety of BabyBoy3's life I have just grabbed him, picked him up, and hugged him. Whenever he asks. Whenever I walk by. Whenever. Without even a thought.

I love my little scrummy boy (and the others Obv.).

But tonight.

For the first time. I am having to turn my little dude away. No hugs from Daddy.

BabyBoy3 is not making it easier either. As he flops face down on the bed at my feet.

I tell him once more I cannot hug or basically touch him in anyway. Which does sound a bit over the top (O.T.T.) but you remember the puke fest that can happen if he gets my bug?

Not O.T.T. Dead right behaviour.

The only problem is that BabyBoy3 does not understand, and worse/better doesn't want to understand.

And it's br-br-br-breaking my heart Anakin.

(It may not look too much like me... but I don’t often wear my hair like that… No hair.)

I start to sell Mrs. Amazing to BabyBoy3.

Essentially I start convincing BabyBoy3 that if he goes to find Mrs. Amazing he will get such a big hug he'd be a fool not to. I am literally pushing him out of my arms into his mothers.

BabyBoy3 is not going for it, and I realise he thinks Mrs. Amazing is in bed next to me. Like normal. Doh! Why would he think otherwise?

I pull down the duvet and show him Mrs. Amazing is definitely not there.

BabyBoy3 looks at me.

Then looks at the open bed where Mrs. Amazing is not.

I am watching his little face, hoping he has finally understood. He turns.

And off he trots.

Right around the bed. And straight into Mrs. Amazing's spot.

Again, I say, doh.

Eventually I get BabyBoy3 out of my bed.

With minimal touching. And guide him towards Mrs. Amazing. Who clearly had heard me, as she suddenly appears to take over and BabyBoy3 is put back to bed by someone not full of germs.

I bundle back to bed, stomach loop the looping, and quickly crash out again.

But before sleep embraced me once more, it's then. Not during the puking, not during the after shock, nor finally being sodding bored of doing nothing after three and a bit days.

It's then, just after having pushed away my little BabyBoy3 away, when he couldn't understand why, it’s then that I feel really bad.

<Sad face>

X

P.S. I hugged the crap out of him once I was better.

X