She's Seven...

It's not much of a change.

Six to seven. It's only one day that elapses. Which seems very easy and very manageable.

No need for having a bit of a moment as Team Parent (yay!) made birthday plans for Miss6. <Sobs>

But despite my wish to stop time and keep Miss6 forever. The latest version of Miss6 arrived.

The upgrade. The new improved model.

Miss7...

Miss7: 'Brilliant! I'm seven! What can I do now?'

Miss7: 'What new skills do I get? Any powers yet?'

Er... You get the power of better concentration! <Tries to make it sound fun>

Miss7: <Is not convinced> '...and...'

Er... You get to manage your temper and emotions better! Yay!

Miss7: 'What, like Boy10 does?'

Fair point... er... you got new shoes with wheels in them (Heelys)! Yay!

Miss7: 'They are cool... And look what I can do!'

Miss7: <Rolls along a bit, then falls over>

THAT'S AMAZING! YOU ARE BRILLIANT!

<Scoops up big seven year old in my arms, that is actually still quite little and is surprisingly easy to scoop>

Let’s go get you and me some chocolate shall we!

I thought you were really getting it that time!

Miss7: <Is happy>

(Er... You might wanna move the balloon a bit…

Yep! That’s it!!!)

It does feel like a new frontier though.

Everything is about to change. I can just feel in the air. Miss7's relationships to her friends and her family are all about to change. She's becoming more aware of the world around her. My Dad alarms are going off pretty much daily.

They are telling me something. And I think it's pretty simple.

Miss7 isn't such a little girl anymore she's a rampaging monster.

But that's just my thoughts.

Based on the slice of Miss7's life I get to see. I get the weekends. And as I work (I do) 9-5:30 weekdays. Means I get a few hours in the morning with her, and then maybe an hour with her in the evening. Which isn't exactly golden time as Miss7, like her brothers, are knackered out by that time of day. And just want cartoons, maybe warm milk, and a bedtime story.

Being a kid does sounds sweet sometimes...

Hey! Why don't I get a bedtime story?

Mrs. Amazing: 'What?'

The kids get a bedtime story... I like stories... Where's mine?

Mrs. Amazing: 'YOU want a story?' <Rolls up sleeves> 'Right!' <Looks a bit annoyed>

<Regrets asking almost instantly>

Mrs. Amazing: 'Once upon a time, there was a grown man that asked his busy and hard working wife for a bedtime story. And later that night he was beaten to death with HUG, The Ravenous Beast, The Gruffalo and every single Mr. Sodding-man and Little Miss. Annoying books she could find. And the wife lived happily ever after. The End.'

...

...

...

I'm just going to pretend you said no nicely and just go to sleep now...

Mrs. Amazing: 'You do that'

Zzz... <Is secretly reading 'Little Rabbit Foo Foo' under the sheets>

Anyhoo...

So as I hate those blogger birthday lists that get all mushy, and are basically a long lost of why a parent loves their child.

Here's my traditional list of things you probably didn't know about Miss6.

1. Miss6 has mad hiding skills.

Miss6's hiding skills have gone through the roof (they are very good).

She is an absolute master of hiding in plain sight. I think it's something to do with her clothes blending in with all the fabric around the house. <Gives Mrs. Amazing a look>

Recently we all played hide and seek. And whilst Boy10 is a hella genius at squeezing into spaces I don't expect him to able to fit in, Miss6 has surpassed him, hiding skillswise.

Miss6 doesn't do anything complex. She just finds somewhere a bit messy and stays still. Her hair covering her face. Clothes blending in.

And smeg it if I can't find her.

If she didn't giggle and call out 'Cock-coo' I swear I'd never find her.

These very useful skills Miss6 uses on me during bedtime.

I can be following her from the bathroom to her bedroom. A foot behind. Round a corner... and BOOM she's gone. I've lost her.

I look for a while. Get a bit frustrated. Call her name. And then like the Predator coming out of the water.

She appears...

Miss6: 'BOO!'

ARGH! Where did you come from? <Clutches heart>

Miss6: <Crouches down again to demonstrate>

WHAT THE SMEG! WHERE DID YOU GO!!! She's a WITCH!

Of course.

And I am sure Mrs. Amazing will back me up on this.

Miss6's skills at hiding do need to be tempered by my legendary skills at looking for stuff.

I have poor skills...

WHERE THE SMEG IS OUR CAR?

Mrs. Amazing: <Gives me a worried look and just points a foot in front of me>

Mrs. Amazing: 'There'

OH! Right... Thanks... <Mumbles stuff about ninja cars and just gets in>

2. Miss6 sings with headphones on.

I know.

That probably sounds really annoying. And I am sure if it was Boy10 it would be really annoying. In fact I know I've told him not to. As it was really annoying.

But for a few reasons Miss6 is not annoying about it.

a) She doesn't do it right in your face whilst your watching your favourite program on tele. Miss6 can just be found walking about the house, playing, singing away.

b) Her volume is just quiet enough. So you can hear it, but it doesn't grate.

c) Her singing is not constant. As Miss6 only seems to know a few lines of a song, chorus obvs.

d) And this is the real seller. There is so much passion and hand gestures when she does sing, it's brilliant. You know how you (and I) dance when a 80's classic comes on? It's that level of passion.

Brilliant.

(You know this doesn't count as swimming?

Miss6: 'I'm watching Octonauts, it's underwater'

Right... <Is confused>)

3. Miss6 can stiiiiiiill only swim 10m.

Which isn't entirely true.

Just last week Miss6 produced her personal best of 12m without drowning. I was so proud.

I take Miss6 swimming once a week, when she's not ill, I'm not ill, and neither of us are busy and Mrs. Amazing is not going out, on a Sunday morning. So probably twenty times last year.

What I sneakily do is watch the swimming teachers already in the pool and copy what they do. So I feel my lessons haven't been completely awful. There's been content.

But for some reason Miss6 hit a wall. 10m, and got no further all year.

Despite the enormous carrot of a brand new swimming badge should she do it, me cheering her massively, and an adult sized milkshake from the milkshake shop (McRonalds)...

LifeGuard: 'Hey! You! I've told you before, no giant inflatable vegetables in the pool!'

<Sticks out tongue> Oh right... Sorry...

<Leaves pool with Miss6 and giant inflatable carrot>

4. Miss6 spills non-spilling bottles of water regularly.

She even has a towel next to her bed for this, I've had words.

I don't doubt Mrs. Amazing has had words too.

Words along the line of 'You're seven! Even your little brother doesn't spill his water at night, what on earth are you doing?',those kind of words.

Of course Miss6 says sorry and she will try really hard not to do it again.

But still. It happens.

5. Miss6 finally won her first ‘Mario Kart’ race.

Which I am very proud of her for.

I’ve no idea what changed. As until recently she drove like a drunken one armed, dwarf, with inner ear issues (badly). Weaving about the road back and forth, until finally getting lost on a one-way track (??).

She went from never actually finishing <Gives you a look> to mostly 3rd, sometimes 2nd, and run and tell Daddy when it happens, BOOM POW! 1st!

I am very proud.

6. Miss6 is faster than you at ‘Head, Shoulder, Knees and Toes’ with actions.

She is. She's hella quick at it.

We had a New Years party. There was a who can do 'Head, Shoulder, Knees and Toes’ with actions, fastest competition. Miss6 beat everyone. Adults too. By a lot.

If you ever need to see H.S.K.&T with actions done at an incredible speed.

You know who to ask. Her manager.

7. Miss6 is fearless with sauces and condiments.

This is in stark contrast to Boy10.

Who refuses food unless it is chips or sandwiches. May consume a roast if he's in the mood, but don’t count on it.

Miss6 in contrast not only tries and likes most food. She also loves all the sauces and condiments Team Parent (yay!) have. Mustard, horseradish, mayo, brown sauce, soy sauce, pickles, chutneys etc... You name, she'll try it.

Bravo Miss6, bravo.

8. Miss6 makes treasure bags at a industrial scale now.

Treasure bags (as mentioned in ‘Bouncy or Not?’) sound lovely don’t they?.

But they're not. No no. They are the bane of Mrs. Amazing's life.

A treasure bag is a bag into which has been put billions of little things.

All from somewhere else. And at first they might all seem unconnected, but Miss6 will have a theme she is rocking that day.

Only problem is that it would've taken Miss6 most of the day collecting these things. It will take Team Parent (yay!) most of the night to put them back. <Grumbles>

Miss6 has increased her production of treasure bags to a new record output.

I came home the other day to find Miss6 loading BabyBoy3 car with at least ten treasure bags. Not little play bags. No.

Full sized bag-for-life bags. Full of crap.

I was pretty miffed.

But that was nothing compared to what Mrs. Amazing would say...

OMFB! <Shakes head> Are all these treasure bags?

Miss6: <Looking proud> 'Yes!'

You're going to die. Look. We have to get this cleared away before your mother gets in and sees... well... this...

<Motions at neatly bagged wrong sorted mess>

... but we've only ten minutes...

Miss: <Is now seeing the problem> <Face goes pale>

There's no other choice... Take this <Passes fake passport>

Your name is now Mungo Bungo and I'll see you two years times when this has all blown over. ... We'll miss you... I love you...

Miss6: <Runs>

Boy10: 'Can I have her LEGO?'

Give it a while...

[A second passes]

Boy10: 'Now?'

9. Miss6 does the press-up & sit-up challenge with me.

A bit random this.

I wanted a way to curb my Christmas waistline issue. As it was November.

And I needed a morning training partner. Boy10 I guessed wouldn't be keen. As it would affect his YouTube watching time.

And I thought well why not with Miss6 <Slaps thigh>. The worst that could happen is that she would become healthy and strong.

Win win.

So the rule is we do one extra repetition every day. We manage four days in a row. We do four reps.

(Note, I did check it was safe for her frame to be doing press-ups and sit-ups. It is).

Our personal best so far is nineteen days in a row.

Which means Miss6 did nineteen press-ups (very iffy ones to be honest), and nineteen sit-ups (very good ones).

I am so damn proud of her for that.

10. Miss6 still does what she wants.

She is not a follower. She is a not sheep.

If she doesn't want to do something, she cares not if others are. Her choices are for her.

Really I wish I could be that free. To just do what I want with worrying what my peers are doing.

Amazing.

Of course this does lead to some 'issues' parenting her...

GET DRESSED!

Miss6 : 'NO!' <Runs, gets even more naked, and hides>

NO! SHE'S DISAPPEARED AGAIN!!!

11. She's quite, quite, mad.

(Go get dressed for a Nerf war! It needs to be protective but look hella cool!

Miss6: 'Tada!

Mission accomplished! <High Fives>

Armed and fabulous darling! <Regrets the heel kick>)

Thank you Miss6 it's been utterly amazing.

A real honour.

I've trepidation about your sevens to be honest. My amazingly bad knowledge of aged seven girls I fear will start working against me very soon. But I am very optimistic as well.
I'm sure it's going to a blast.

And funny. Really funny.

One song sums up Miss6 for me.

It is 'It's Magnificent (She Says)' by the amazing 'Elbow', who I love.

Best you listen rather than read about it.

Take it away Sir Guy...

Goodbye to lovely Miss6 and hello, wotcha, about time, hi, to the amazing and fabulous Miss7!

Long may she reign.

X

Epilogue:

I really did have a bit of moment when planning Miss6's birthday party with Mrs. Amazing.

It just kind of hit home in my head that my little six year girl was suddenly going to be seven.

And seven feels really big and grown up, and I know it's silly to think that.

I love being in her life soooo much. We have so much fun together. And I know as she gets older I'll be less and less involved.

So in that moment as we planned a party. I faltered and it hit me. No actual tears, I would just like to clear that up.

But some serious throat clearing.

But Mrs. Amazing noticed...

Mrs. Amazing: 'You OK?'

<Is squinting> Yeah... Just sad that this part of her life has past, if you know what I mean...

Mrs. Amazing: 'Yeah... but snap out of it we've got eleven...'

Eleven? I thought only eight were coming?

Mrs. Amazing: 'No Miss6 invited more people...'

Really? Shesh...

Mrs. Amazing: 'And we've only an hour before I will crash out to plan the entire party for twelve, themed on a book, none of her friends have ever read'

Mrs. Amazing: <Seriously sups wine>

<Glugs Guinness>

Mrs. Amazing: 'And I doubt us having started drinking is going to help is it?'

<Re-glugs Guinness>

I'm thinking lasers, ropes hanging from the ceiling and a klaxon going off, indoor fireworks, and maybe a shot bar?

Mrs. Amazing: <Moves away my Guinness> '... Very much no'

Right... How about I make Fairy sandwiches?

Mrs. Amazing: <Moves back Guinness> 'Good idea!'

X

Rage Against the Swimming Costume...

Poor Miss6.

I do feel sorry for her.

It’s a hard life being a daughter to a Dad that takes her out and does stuff with her.

No. It’s not the embarrassment factor. Although I am sure that will kick in one day, but it is not this day.

It’s not that I am a little less tolerant of her endless talking as Mrs. Amazing...

Here… I'll give you this fiver to shush for a few five minutes... Deal?

Miss6: <Takes money>

... <Is confident I will get my money back> Five whole minutes...

Miss6: <Nods>

[Twenty, maybe thirty seconds pass]]

Miss6: <Looks like she is about to burst>

Miss6: <Starts pointing at stuff and miming>

I've no idea what you are saying? There's aliens on that tree and they are yodelling?

Miss6: <Explodes> <There's a lot of talking very quickly>

Miss6: <Passes money back>

Thank you... a P.B. by the way... twenty nine seconds...

Miss6: 'Well I think it would have gone better if...'

<Put brain into idle for a while> <Turns on auto-nod>

Miss6: '... then you started going on about yodellin...'

Nope.

Miss6’s main problem about being out with me is that I am not female.

As it means:

a) She has to go to toilet in the men's.

Right. Just keep your eyes on the floor and touch nothing

NOTHING. This is the men's. It's gross

Miss6: 'It's smells yukky'

Yep. Just stand there and don't move...

Actually put this blindfold on...

And these headphones…

In fact... <Casts stasis spell>

b) My practical knowledge of wearing women's clothing, and even more so little girls clothes, is low. Not none. But low.

(Awesome… But which would Barbara Gordon use?)

We were at the swimming pool.

Me and Miss6 go swimming once a week. It's one of my favourite things to do.

Teaching Miss6 to swim is a real honour. We've currently working on our 20m badge. She's doing great. I'm a very proud Dad.

And swimming is right fun anyway.

But it seems loads can go wrong (See BabyBoy2 and the nappy incident)...

We (I) pay.

We go in. Get changed. And head to the lockers...

[Me and Miss6, dry, putting stuff in locker]

[Locker jams my quid (a £1 coin) in it]

Stupid locker! <Quietly swears at locker and make comments about it's mother being a car compactor of poor compression quality>

<Tries to force coin with finger>

<Coin gets REALLY stuck>

SIGH <Sighs the sigh of a man that doesn't want to get dressed again and go to get another quid>

...

Miss6: 'What are we going to do?'

<Rifles through the bag with all our stuff in> <Shotguns Gets pocket knife out>

<Convinces quid to work> Tada!

Miss6: <Is unimpressed>

<Ignores Miss6 and smugly puts everything in and locks it>

<Worries I may never get my quid back>

Miss6: 'Er... The water bottle' <That is in Miss6's hands>

<Internal swearing>

<Unlocks the locker and repeats process>

<Is sure we won't get our quid back now>

<Is also a bit worried the locker may not open at all now>

Then it's wee time.

Miss6 needs to go. So do I. We both go into the men's.

This used to be simple. With Miss5 we would both go into a cubicle. I'd help Miss5 if she needed it. And ensure she had a clean enough environment. Then we'd swap places. Both jobs done.

But Miss6 is bigger and more grown up and independent. And as she doesn't need my help now. I feel a bit weird being in a cubicle with her.

As I’ve nothing to do.

So there are two choices.

a) Let Miss6 lock herself in and pray that she can open it later.

Very risky in men's toilets.  But does leave me free to go for a wee myself.

b) Stand outside the cubicle and wait.

Which doesn’t look great. Hanging about in men's toilets is best avoided.

Leaving me NOT free to go wee. As if I move then I’ve left a six year old girl. Alone.

In a unlocked male toilet.

Where anythingone could wander in. No no.

I'm standing guard.

(None shall pass…

<Gets hugged> BOOM!)

Miss6 is done.

She heads off to see if she can reach the shower button. I get to wee.

She still cannot reach the showers and when I start them for her.

Miss6 ducks out of the way and refuses to get even a little wet.

It seems her swimming costume is itchy when it's wet.

Unless she's in the water...

Miss6: '... and that's why I can't get wet before I get in the water'

Gotcha... <Has got nothing>

I thought it was strange.

Normally Miss6 likes to don her swimming costume before we leave for the pool.

And then takes great delight in thrashing me at the 'who can get changed for swimming first' race...

Miss6: 'Winner!' <Does dance>

Whateve's! Well done darling <Grinds teeth>

My poor little angry girl.

Show's me the itchy spaghetti straps she has on her swimming costume.

They annoy her so much balls up her hands in rage. She even lets out a small shout of frustration.

Poor thing.

Miss6 solution to the problem is simple.

Lower the straps until she is in the pool. Go nips out.

I consider letting Miss6 do this. She is only six. And my nips are well out on display anyway. What’s the difference really.

It can't hurt.

We finally get into the pool.

Miss6 can touch the bottom on tip toes. It's pretty much perfect for her.

She pulls her straps up, as promised. And... Well... There's something wrong with her costume. I know something is wrong.

I can see it.

I can still see her nips.

Which isn't the end of the world (it isn't). But the swimming costume is meant to cover them.

I'm sure it's on backwards. But now that I am looking and thinking about it. I'm not sure.

No experience you see. I don't wear many one pieces.

But it looks wrong enough that I drag her back out of the pool. Carefully not making eye contact with any other parents in the pool. Back to the shower area.

The men’s showers.

We're both shivering away.

It’s an English pool. There's cold air everywhere.

We whip her swimmers off, turn them around, and put them back on.

There's a lot of fighting...

Miss6: 'IT'S TOO TIGHT! ARGHGHG!'

Stick your foot in that hole… No that one, there... <Points>

Miss6: 'It's cold!!! EKKKK!'

etc...

I persevere.

Eventually Miss6 has rotated swimmers on.

And... No. No that's not right at all. Miss6 agrees. That's definitely backwards now.

We agree to turn them around again.

Miss6: 'It's cold!!! EKKKK!'

Foot in there...<Points>

etc...

It takes longer this time.

And Miss6 is stood naked in the men's showers for longer than I happy with. It's deserted at least.

We manage to get her wet swimming costume back on just as some grown up men walk back into showers. Phew.

But it's still not right.

Stupid swimming costume.

I realise we've been lucky so far.

No one has walked in on us whilst we struggle with her swimmers. But we both know.

We need to do this properly now.

We need to work out what the smeg is going on with these swimmers.

Safe in a cubicle.

Door locked. We removed the swimmers again. I look for some instructions. Anything really that would suggest what we are doing wrong.

It says wash at 30, don't iron, it's made from plastic. I know all that. Useless.

Where’s the ‘this end up’ label.

(Wisey)

We put the wet cold swimmers back on Miss6.

Miss6: 'Ekkk! Argghhghg! Grrr...'

Foot! HERE!

etc...

I am running out of ideas.

I ask her to spin so I can see the problem from all angles.

I don't want to have to go home. Not having swum. And admit a swimming costume beat me.

Despite being a Dad for nearly a decade (oh bacon), I still have some pride.

Somewhere. It maybe hidden though.

Come on brain! Think!

I ask Miss6 to spin again.

Which she loves doing anyway. And this time I notice there's a lot of fabric around her bum.

Well that could be it. Then without really thinking it through or anything that could be consider thoughtful. A guess.

I grab the top of the swimmers and lift Miss6 up by them. Maybe brute strength will magically work!

Her bottom slides deeper into the swimming costume. And suddenly it fits perfectly.

Nips covered too.

Me and Miss6 exchange looks.

Who knew! Neither of us. We have a little giggle about it. Then run off to swim.

And have a lovely time together.

X