Everybody (the Kids) Change...

What a summer we had.

It's been awesome. The UK sun has been out in force and we have made the most of it.

I obviously have found it far too hot at times, and as always have been pining for my coat and long trousers. Stupid shorts with their rubbish pockets.

The three terrors have had plenty of outside adventures and fun. During which I have utterly butterly broken my knees playing with them, and keeping up with them. #WorthIt

And despite what they might say, they have all really bonded over the past six weeks...

(BabyBoy4? How’s your summer been?

BabyBoy4: <Gives one thumb up>

<Is chuffed> That’s high praise!)

I'll be back in twenty seconds, keep eating and behave...

<Runs>

Miss7: 'Boy11 is looking at me!'

Boy11: 'I am not' <Is looking at Miss7>

BabyBoy4: <Punches with teeny fists Boy11>

Boy11: 'OW! Take that'

BabyBoy4: 'WAHHHH!'

Miss7: 'STOP LOOKING AT ME' <Screams and knocks her plate off the table>

Boy11: <Steals Miss7's crisps>

WTAF? I've only been gone fifteen seconds!

<Picks up BabyBoy4>

<Glares at Boy11>

<Moves Miss7 into my seat and gives her my food>

<Frowns at them all>

<Creaks a lot as sits>

But the summer holidays are now done.

No more lazy days in the sun building camps from sheets.

No more movie marathons in the mornings and no one getting dressed at all.

No more just playing. At least until next summer holidays that is.

No, now it's all change.

Everyone is changing schools and there's a fair bit of concern, anxiety and excitement going on. New drop off times and places.

And smeg load of new uniforms, stationary, no books weirdly, we’ve had to buy. Sigh.

Each child is dealing with the changes it in their own way.

Boy11

He's got the biggest change of all. From Primary to Secondary school.

Boy11 is going from being one of the oldest in the school to the youngest. Which should be a shock.

If I cast my mind back the few millennia to when I did that, I remember being shocked by it all. The older boys were huge, basically giants, and everything was so big. Even the chairs are suddenly adult sized.

I remember there being so many people all the people so many people. I had come from a tiny village Primary school, straight into an enormouse secondary school. I doubt I had ever seen so many children at one time before.

My first week of school I remember being very confusing as a lot of information was thrown at me, and I got lost a lot. My timetable I recall was super important to me at the time.

It was the only piece of information that was mine that I understood.

But I do recall that first week being pretty fun too. Being allowed to use flames in the science labs, cooking in a oven, being allowed to use the power tools in CDT. All pretty damn cool stuff. They let throw javelins! BONZA!

And that is what I have been filling Boy11's head with - the cool stuff that school is about to let him do.

Of course I shan't mention that in my first week of school I was set upon by a load of fifth years and was handcuffed to the goal posts on the field.

There's no need for him to know that. (I got out very quickly and conversely made a fifth year friend from it, who smuggled chocolate out of the fifth years canteen for me which was cool. Funny how things turn out).

Plus times have changed. I think. I am sure that nothing like happens any more.

The main message I've been giving to Boy11 is how cool it is going to be, and to make the most of everything they are going to offer him.

I feel I didn't make the most of secondary school when I was there. If I can help steer him away from my mistake, I will.

It might work.

Miss7

She's got the simplest of moves. As Miss7 is just changing one school for another, from Infant to Junior. All her mates will be with her. It's just a different building and new teachers.

She’s still got worries though, poor sausage. It just the change, the unknown.

It’s easy to forget what a worry that can be to children. I know because I totally forgot and it was Mrs. Amazing that reminded me.

Luckily Miss7 loves school and will be delighted to be back again. She has been working through the workbooks we give with desire and a genuine joy of learning. Bless her.

Long may that reign.

I still get to drop her off for school a few mornings a week.

Me and BabyBoy4 will see her to school first, before then doubling back for BabyBoy4's drop off. I am looking forward to the drop offs again. Yes really.

To be honest at the end of term when the drop offs stopped. I was hella glad.

I needed a break from them.

But after a weeks of just working and not taking anyone to school and stuff. Well I started missing them. It's gonna be fun!

Maybe…

WHY IS NO ONE DRESSED? WE’RE FIVE MINUTES TO GET THERE!

<Is attacked by naked children, giggling>

<Everyone is late>

BabyBoy4

In some ways he's got the biggest change ever. He's going from Nursery to Primary.

From not at school. To at school. Ooooo.

BabyBoy4 is really excited and I think it's because it's not the unknown for him, he’s going to Miss7’s previous school. It finally his time to go to school, just like Boy11 and Miss7 have been doing for years. I'm pretty sure he's just gonna be glad to be part of the 'School' gang. (Obvs. that joy may only last a day).

Team Parent are pretty sure he's ready. Can get dressed. Can use toilet. Can recognise on name. Can be trusted to only jam one nostral with pasta.

Because in the last six months he's suddenly grown up loads. Any lingering babiness has gone. <Howls>

Well except for when he wants to use it to get what he wants, obvs.

He's no fool...

Dude. Sit in the middle of your seat, or you'll fall off?

BabyBoy4: <Shakes head>

Well you've been warn...

BabyBoy4: <THUD> 'WAHHHHHHH'

What did I tell you fool <Scoops him up in my arms and kisses his tiny little bopped head>

And me?
BrainZilla: 'You talking to yourself again?'
Shhhhh <Punches self in head>
BrainZilla: 'Shall do'

Well I am looking forward to making new friends in the playground when I drop off BabyBoy4 for school. Bit worried I'm gonna get lost and take the wrong child to the wrong school.

Probably gonna forgot everything they need four million times in the first week. If I'm concentrating.

Hope work doesn't give me detention for being late.

(But it wasn’t my fault I’m late…

I had to drink all the wine last night…)

I am sure we’ll all be fine.

My thoughts are mostly going to be with Boy11 as he starts this whole new chapter. He is going to need the most support as school switches from learning with fun, to learning a lot.

But I'll be keeping an eye on BabyBoy4 and how he's doing, and whether he's happy in school. And Miss7 obvs.

Something tells me I'm going to be doing a lot listening when I get home each day.

I can't wait!

Good luck terrors. Team Parent (yay!) are right behind you!

X

Epilogue:

So is Boy11 old enough to look after the others yet?

Mrs. Amazing: 'Not really'

I was just thinking... If we left him with the others... we could... <Winks suggestively>

Mrs. Amazing: 'Wouldn't they hear us?'

What? From the pub? No <Is confused>

Mrs. Amazing: 'Oh right, and no we can't do that'

Shame...

... <Brain is working>...

HANG ON! What were you thinking we could do?

Mrs. Amazing: <Runs>

And Relax... (Summer Holidays)...

Finally it's here.

Summer holidays for the kids and teachers.

Six weeks of playing the garden, getting muddy, staying up late, day trips out, ice creams and hella fun.

And bacon knows they all need it.

Miss6 desperately needs a break.

She's running on chocolate-milk fumes (metaphorically). On her last school morning she kept yawning mid-sentence. It was like hilarious hiccups. Every few minutes a yawn could be heard.

Her eyes bag were very baggy, and her temper?

Well lets just say it was nearly absent...

Miss6 can you put your shoes on?

<Ducks thrown shoes>

Can you go brush your teeth?

Miss6 : <Hides under a table>

Shall I get your toothbrush for you?

<Turns back on me, under the table, whilst saying ‘poo poo’>

<Decides not to Godzilla on her and rip the table up into the air>

<Just goes to get the toothbrush>

The funny thing about Miss6.

And truly wonder thing as well. Is her grumps tend to be short lived if you give her space to make the right (what I want her to do) choice.

Which is not like Boy10. He needs you to sit and him. To make sure he actually does stuff. He needs the fight discussion to finish so he can move on.

Miss6 however just needs some time to make the right choice. Badgering her just makes her badgerier madder. And kickier.

And you don't want that. No one wants that.

<Gives you a look of terror>

<Limps off>

(DevilSpidey: ‘Go on… web him up…’

AngelSpidey: ‘YEAH! Go on! It’ll be a laff!’ )

Poor Boy10 had two more days of school.

Haha! His school must have used up all their insect (yes insect) days earlier in the year. (And yes they go to different schools, we thought life was just a bit too easy, why not give Team Parent (yay!) a challenge) (#WeMoved).

Boy10 is not very happy he is going to school when Miss6 isn't. His class is also being rearranged so this is the last two days with his current mates in one class. As he is rearranged away from most of them.

Poor Boy10. He was just settled and happy. Gutted for him.

<Rages at the school rearranging policies and there seemingly unfair decision making process that seems to be very weighted against Boy10>

<Is cool with it, I am sure they know best>

BabyBoy3 still hasn't entered the world of school yet.

So really he shouldn't care about the summer holidays. But he will.

Because all of sudden Miss6 and Boy10 will be at home to play with. Winner!

For six glorious weeks BabyBoy3 is going to have his best mates at home. The people he looks up to. The people he wants to be so, so much and play with.

Boy10 and Miss6.

To be fair it will be mainly Miss6.

As Miss6 and BabyBoy3 play together brilliantly. Miss6 has someone that doesn't mind being bossed about a bit. And BabyBoy3 gets an elder sibling willing to play with him all day.

It won't last, as eventually BabyBoy3 will stop wanting to be ‘directed’ by Miss6 so much.

But for now they are hella sweet together. Miss6 shares all her knowledge and BabyBoy3 laps it up.

Hella sweet.

Boy10 has a different effect on BabyBoy3.

They play like loonies. They egg each other on. Raising the steaks as they go on.

Boy10 wrestles with BabyBoy3, chases him, shows off his toys, shows off his skills.

And BabyBoy3 looks on with big puppy eyes at possibly the coolest person in his life.

No. Not me. <Weeps> Boy10.

I kind of resent it a little. As Boy10 has taken my role.

I was Boy10's coolest person when he was little. Hell even I look kinda of awesome to a six year old.

And I was really hoping to be BabyBoy3's look up to dude, and I am a bit, but only a bit.

But mainly Boy10 has pinched my job. And I know it is good, it shows they are all learning and developing well.

And it means I get more time to do all those grown up things I like and need to do.

But... <Kicks stone>... Really… I want to play.

BabyBoy3: 'Daddy!' <Runs up and gives me a leg hug>

Dude... Can I play?

Boy10: <Pokes head out of awesome den made of cushions> 'Yeah, just don't break the den'

Right!

<Dives into the tiny tunnel>

<Knocks one cushion with grown up body>

<Entire den collapses dramatically>

... Sorry... <Hangs head>

Boy10: <Is furious> 'Just go...'

BabyBoy3: 'Bye Daddy!' <Waves me off>

<Leaves slowly> <Stops at chocolate cupboard on the way>

<Goes to bug play with Miss6>

However, the mean rub for BabyBoy3.

Is that he doesn't actually get a summer holiday. He's still got nursery two days a week.

And I am pretty sure next week, when he realises he's off to nursery, and the big two are not going to school, a lot biscuits will be needed to bribe that little boy to nursery.

A lot of biscuits.

<Passes entire packets>

(Deal?

BabyBoy3: ‘Yep’ <Gets into buggy>

Now… Hat on….

BabyBoy3: ‘No!’

Biscuits?

BabyBoy3: <Nods>

Sigh… Fine… Should have started the bribing a bit lower really…)

The downside of summer holidays for Team Parent (yay!).

Is that they ruin our child care arrangements. School really is very helpful at looking after kids whilst we are work. Seems like it’s almost planned.

Shame they don't keep 'em until clocking off time. But still. It's very helpful.

And now it's gone. And Team Parent (yay!) have six weeks of children at home to sort out.

Which we have through bribery, incantations, sacrifices, deals, dodgy deals, and flat lies.

A mixture of overlapping holidays for us both. Some grandparent (thank you) cover. Days out at mates houses. etc...

Essentially, anyway you want it we can.

It's quite a logistical struggle...

So if Boy10 is here? <Points at map labelled ‘world domination progress’>

Mrs. Amazing: <Nods>

Then you can be here, working...

Mrs. Amazing: <Nods>

BabyBoy3 is here, for the morning, then is shipped here, via here, where they collect Miss6.

But she needs to be here later, and then picked up from here two hours later, and in party dress...

Mrs. Amazing: 'Yep'

Do we have any more Grandparents that can help?

Mrs. Amazing: 'More than four?... Nope...'

Fair point... How long could Boy10 be left alone in the house? With my tools?

Mrs. Amazing: 'Fifteen, maybe twenty mins tops'

Hmmmm... So not the nine hours I am at work?

Mrs. Amazing: 'No...' <Pours large wine>

… Crap.

<Classily glugs from the bottle, has pinkie out>

Our logistical issues aside.

The summer holidays are utterly needed for Miss6 and Boy10.

Any more school and they both may have collapsed. Or exploded. Or got even more grumpy.

Miss6 has hit the colouring-in hard and fast since finishing, and is already creating an entire village made out of stand up little things, for her Shopkins (don't ask, I don't understand either).

Boy10 has already started melting into the sofa. YouTube viewings in our house have gone up dramatically. He is just unwinding his way. I left him watching a Scooby-Doo movie for the billionth this morning as I grumped cheerfully skipped off to work.

And BabyBoy3 has people that will sit and play with him all day.

Mrs. Amazing is saved the stress of the school runs, ten billion clubs shuttling, and juggling work and three hellions children.

(<Deep film voice>The year is 2020, the human race has been driven underground, by common shop items that have become sentient… The rise of the Shopkins AH HA HAAA HAAAAA!!!!
<Coughs>)

And like an enormouse (!) balloon.

You can almost hear the pressure and stress and demands of the school year, squeaking and farting, it's way out of each of them (some more literally than others) (Miss6).

Bless 'em.

X

Nearly the End of Term (Thank Bacon and Cake)...

The awesomeness that is the 'End of Term' is nearly here.

Actually it cannot get here quick enough.

Six long weeks of summer holidays are seriously needed.

Boy9

I'm pretty sure Boy9 is going to explode.

Bang. It's not going to take much. The wrong fork at breakfast. His favourite toy found millimetres in Miss5's room. Dad has eaten all the cake.

That boy is primed and ready to blow...

Mrs. Amazing: 'What are you doing?'

Shhhh <Continues to prod Boy9 with long stick>

Mrs. Amazing: 'ARE YOU DELIBERATELY ANNOYING HIM?'

<Nods>

Mrs. Amazing: 'WITHOUT ME?'

<Nods and loves her even more>

Mrs. Amazing: 'Come on, shove up! My go!'

[Bang]

(... I have never been bowled when using my lucky bat...)

As long as Boy9 is doing something he likes.

He's fine. But ask him to do anything? Ask him to help?

Ask him to push the switch that closes the very doors to hades, so their hoardes and demons won't come into the house and burn everything, and roast us in the eternal fires of oblivion. Ask him to do that?

It’s a long shot.

He's very much like a smeggern over wound toy car.

It kinda works…. But in spits and spots.

Sometimes it goes off like a rocket.

Other times it just makes this annoying noise and doesn't move at all.

But then sometimes you just need to nudge it... a teeny bit... and BROOOOOM off it goes and it scares the crap out of me you at night...

(I may have lost focus on this metaphor).

You know when you see a parent out with an annoying child.

A child being rude, abusive, mean, hitty, shouty, just urghhhhh!

And the seems to just be sitting there, calming talking, letting them behave like that.

And inwardly, you tut them.

Well you shouldn't. You should clap them.

Because any parent that is calm and still managing to reason with the child is doing it right.

I promise.

<Puts hand on R2-D2> Hope to be shot down by frugal laser turret gunners if I'm wrong...

I know.

Because it's what Team Parent (yay!) are currently trying to do with Boy9.

It's exhausting and annoying and we hate it.

But it works. When nothing else does.

School has utterly drained him this year.

Poor loon. Boy9 just needs to be left alone to do whatever he wants. For about a week.

Then he'll be back to himself in no time.

Miss5 however has been running on fumes for ages.

She has given her all to her first year at school.

And it's easy to say like that isn't it. Miss5's done one year at school.

There! Easy wasn't it?

One year. Doesn't seem much? One year.

Easy!!!

(Quick blow it out! That candles gotta last everyone’s teens...)

But that's one year of classes with a teacher for the first time.

One year of needing to be on time, and dressed sanely correctly.

One year being with lemons and fools others around you. Who you may not like.

One year of having to act big, and be on your own all day.

One year of filling your brain with more information than you've ever know. Probably twice over.

One year of having to concentrate for hours and hours.

<Runs off after a butterfly>

...

Missed it... Where was I?

One year of having other adults telling you off.

One year of having of swines other children being mean to you, just coz.

One year of having unfair stuff happening and that's it. It just happens.

One year of a million brilliant and lovely experiences.

One year of having no one pick you up if you cry and hugging you to little bits.

And really someone (me) should always be there doing that.

Can you imagine how hard that change is to adjust too?

Yeah. It's just one year for Miss5... But crikey!

What a year!

Luckily for us.

Miss5 has taken to school like chocolate does to cake (well). But. For every brilliant bit at school… There's been the flip side at home...

The screaming.

The hitting.

The kicking.

The meals at the table where Miss5 isn't at the table at all. Unless you count screaming and kicking the cupboards the other side of the room as being at the table (we do not).

The fights, two damn hours after bedtime, about her wanting to wear a fleece to bed. In an English heat wave (A whopping 30! It was so hot I even questioned whether or not having cups of tea all day was such a good idea) (It was Obv.).

The naked little girl screaming she's too cold to put on pyjamas.

The confused Dad struggling with Miss5's reasoning and grip of thermal dynamics...

Then... But... Then you'll be.... ARHGGHGHG!!! <Brain pain>

WHAT DO YOU WANT??? TELL ME!!! Pleases <Sobs>

<Runs>

Excellent first year of school Miss5.

Now hurry up and finish it so you can rest.

You deserve it, and Team Parent (yay!) need it.

Mrs. Amazing needs the holidays to start too.

Not for herself you understand. But for the inmates children. They are all acting a bit nuts.

Which is driving Mrs. Amazing a bit nuts as well.

She needs a good break, on a beach, in a swimming pool of sparkling white wine, surrounded by rugby players playing volley ball, and piped in Radio 4.

I understand I would be allowed to visit during pre-agreed visiting hours.

The children would not.

I got a message from Mrs. Amazing. A movie and this text…

I feel her pain. There's a lot of thirty seconds in a day.

BabyBoy2

Well there's no school yet for him. But holidays mean no more getting bundled into a hot car forty times a day. No waiting about in playgrounds for grumpy siblings. No dashing about with Mummy on errands all day.

Summer holidays will mean BabyBoy2 gets Miss5 and Boy9 to play with all day. And he loves playing with them so much. He’s gonna love the next six weeks.

And the pace of BabyBoy2's life will slow right down.

Which is what he needs.

BabyBoy2: 'One more?' <Cocks head to the side>

Er...

BabyBoy2: 'PwEEEEEase!' <Gorgeous smile>

Oh OK! One more Octonauts then... But then we better get dressed before it gets dark...

<Both watch Octonauts and love it>

And me?

Well at this time of year I end up working late, and early to make up time so I can go to their sport days. Their open days. Their Hand-Over-Your-Money-We-Want-To-Build-Stuff-At-School days. Their Fifty-Pounds-A-Burger days? And Very-Cheap-Cake days (my fav).

My work days are longer at the moment. But that's fine. And my choice.

I know I am lucky to be able to attend their school things.

Once the holidays start I'll go back to normal hours.

I'm going to miss dropping Miss5 off at school.

A lot. I'm going to be missing that for the next six weeks.

Nothing starts my day off better than a Miss5 chat...

Miss5: ‘... and that's how bees fly!’

You sure?

Miss5: ‘Oh yes. Yep’

But where do they get this ‘rainbow petrol’ from?

Miss5: ‘By flying round all rainbow-colour flowers. Obv.’

Oh… Makes sense… <Is Surprised>

Hang on… <Takes notes>

I’ve also got six weeks of listening to fun.

For the next six weeks I am going to have to hear about all fun the they are going to have.

All the plans the four of them will now make for the next six weeks. Without me.

All the places they will go, the fun they will have. Without me.

All the flobbing about, watching Star Wars, eating cake. Without me.

And I really love watching Star Wars and eating cake. I’m excellent at it.

Stupid male Dad life…

<Grumbles off to work>

<They have cake!>

X