Everybody (the Kids) Change...

What a summer we had.

It's been awesome. The UK sun has been out in force and we have made the most of it.

I obviously have found it far too hot at times, and as always have been pining for my coat and long trousers. Stupid shorts with their rubbish pockets.

The three terrors have had plenty of outside adventures and fun. During which I have utterly butterly broken my knees playing with them, and keeping up with them. #WorthIt

And despite what they might say, they have all really bonded over the past six weeks...

(BabyBoy4? How’s your summer been?

BabyBoy4: <Gives one thumb up>

<Is chuffed> That’s high praise!)

I'll be back in twenty seconds, keep eating and behave...

<Runs>

Miss7: 'Boy11 is looking at me!'

Boy11: 'I am not' <Is looking at Miss7>

BabyBoy4: <Punches with teeny fists Boy11>

Boy11: 'OW! Take that'

BabyBoy4: 'WAHHHH!'

Miss7: 'STOP LOOKING AT ME' <Screams and knocks her plate off the table>

Boy11: <Steals Miss7's crisps>

WTAF? I've only been gone fifteen seconds!

<Picks up BabyBoy4>

<Glares at Boy11>

<Moves Miss7 into my seat and gives her my food>

<Frowns at them all>

<Creaks a lot as sits>

But the summer holidays are now done.

No more lazy days in the sun building camps from sheets.

No more movie marathons in the mornings and no one getting dressed at all.

No more just playing. At least until next summer holidays that is.

No, now it's all change.

Everyone is changing schools and there's a fair bit of concern, anxiety and excitement going on. New drop off times and places.

And smeg load of new uniforms, stationary, no books weirdly, we’ve had to buy. Sigh.

Each child is dealing with the changes it in their own way.

Boy11

He's got the biggest change of all. From Primary to Secondary school.

Boy11 is going from being one of the oldest in the school to the youngest. Which should be a shock.

If I cast my mind back the few millennia to when I did that, I remember being shocked by it all. The older boys were huge, basically giants, and everything was so big. Even the chairs are suddenly adult sized.

I remember there being so many people all the people so many people. I had come from a tiny village Primary school, straight into an enormouse secondary school. I doubt I had ever seen so many children at one time before.

My first week of school I remember being very confusing as a lot of information was thrown at me, and I got lost a lot. My timetable I recall was super important to me at the time.

It was the only piece of information that was mine that I understood.

But I do recall that first week being pretty fun too. Being allowed to use flames in the science labs, cooking in a oven, being allowed to use the power tools in CDT. All pretty damn cool stuff. They let throw javelins! BONZA!

And that is what I have been filling Boy11's head with - the cool stuff that school is about to let him do.

Of course I shan't mention that in my first week of school I was set upon by a load of fifth years and was handcuffed to the goal posts on the field.

There's no need for him to know that. (I got out very quickly and conversely made a fifth year friend from it, who smuggled chocolate out of the fifth years canteen for me which was cool. Funny how things turn out).

Plus times have changed. I think. I am sure that nothing like happens any more.

The main message I've been giving to Boy11 is how cool it is going to be, and to make the most of everything they are going to offer him.

I feel I didn't make the most of secondary school when I was there. If I can help steer him away from my mistake, I will.

It might work.

Miss7

She's got the simplest of moves. As Miss7 is just changing one school for another, from Infant to Junior. All her mates will be with her. It's just a different building and new teachers.

She’s still got worries though, poor sausage. It just the change, the unknown.

It’s easy to forget what a worry that can be to children. I know because I totally forgot and it was Mrs. Amazing that reminded me.

Luckily Miss7 loves school and will be delighted to be back again. She has been working through the workbooks we give with desire and a genuine joy of learning. Bless her.

Long may that reign.

I still get to drop her off for school a few mornings a week.

Me and BabyBoy4 will see her to school first, before then doubling back for BabyBoy4's drop off. I am looking forward to the drop offs again. Yes really.

To be honest at the end of term when the drop offs stopped. I was hella glad.

I needed a break from them.

But after a weeks of just working and not taking anyone to school and stuff. Well I started missing them. It's gonna be fun!

Maybe…

WHY IS NO ONE DRESSED? WE’RE FIVE MINUTES TO GET THERE!

<Is attacked by naked children, giggling>

<Everyone is late>

BabyBoy4

In some ways he's got the biggest change ever. He's going from Nursery to Primary.

From not at school. To at school. Ooooo.

BabyBoy4 is really excited and I think it's because it's not the unknown for him, he’s going to Miss7’s previous school. It finally his time to go to school, just like Boy11 and Miss7 have been doing for years. I'm pretty sure he's just gonna be glad to be part of the 'School' gang. (Obvs. that joy may only last a day).

Team Parent are pretty sure he's ready. Can get dressed. Can use toilet. Can recognise on name. Can be trusted to only jam one nostral with pasta.

Because in the last six months he's suddenly grown up loads. Any lingering babiness has gone. <Howls>

Well except for when he wants to use it to get what he wants, obvs.

He's no fool...

Dude. Sit in the middle of your seat, or you'll fall off?

BabyBoy4: <Shakes head>

Well you've been warn...

BabyBoy4: <THUD> 'WAHHHHHHH'

What did I tell you fool <Scoops him up in my arms and kisses his tiny little bopped head>

And me?
BrainZilla: 'You talking to yourself again?'
Shhhhh <Punches self in head>
BrainZilla: 'Shall do'

Well I am looking forward to making new friends in the playground when I drop off BabyBoy4 for school. Bit worried I'm gonna get lost and take the wrong child to the wrong school.

Probably gonna forgot everything they need four million times in the first week. If I'm concentrating.

Hope work doesn't give me detention for being late.

(But it wasn’t my fault I’m late…

I had to drink all the wine last night…)

I am sure we’ll all be fine.

My thoughts are mostly going to be with Boy11 as he starts this whole new chapter. He is going to need the most support as school switches from learning with fun, to learning a lot.

But I'll be keeping an eye on BabyBoy4 and how he's doing, and whether he's happy in school. And Miss7 obvs.

Something tells me I'm going to be doing a lot listening when I get home each day.

I can't wait!

Good luck terrors. Team Parent (yay!) are right behind you!

X

Epilogue:

So is Boy11 old enough to look after the others yet?

Mrs. Amazing: 'Not really'

I was just thinking... If we left him with the others... we could... <Winks suggestively>

Mrs. Amazing: 'Wouldn't they hear us?'

What? From the pub? No <Is confused>

Mrs. Amazing: 'Oh right, and no we can't do that'

Shame...

... <Brain is working>...

HANG ON! What were you thinking we could do?

Mrs. Amazing: <Runs>

Boy11's Last Drop Off...

I'm feeling nostalgic.

There's a lot going on at the moment.

Lots of things ending, lots of things we are now doing for the last time.

People to say goodbye to, and buildings we are never gonna visit again...

Boy11: 'What we doing here Dad?'

This place, 'Burger Off', is shutting down and I wanted to get a last burger...

or two... <Does shifty eyes>

BurgerOffDude: 'What'll it be lads?'

Eighteen burgers with all the trimming please!

Boy11: 'Or two?' <Gives me a look>

Oh shush...

[We wait whilst they cook]

Boy11: 'So why are you shutting down?'

BurgerOffDude: 'What? We're not shutting down! We'll be here forever!'

Boy11: <Gives me a look of surprise>

Oh don't look so surprised...

<Takes burgers and runs>

<Is found in burger comma, it's not a pretty sight>

(... Yes that’ll do for the boy…

Now have you got anything big?)

All of them.

All three terrors are leaving their respective nursery, junior school and primary schools.

All on the same day. That is some hardcore crappy crap planning from Team Parents (yay!).

Take my advice. If and when you have children, if you can find them, hire the A-Team! Try to avoid having a three year split between them all.

It's pretty intense.

The main tale here is Boy11 is finishing primary school.

Six years he has been there. It was our first school as parents.

There's been plenty of ups and downs, good and bad. Loads of cool stuff. Some crappy crap stuff too.

But as I picked Boy11 up from his Year 7 disco last night. I realised that this was probably going to be the last time I would be on school grounds. Legally.

I did feel a little sad. I know the building well, I can get lost trying to get to any of the classroom in that building in a heartbeat. They have the greatest booze raffle stand I’ve ever seen. £5 in and you walk off with at least three bottles. They had a skateboard club!

All his first field trips happened there. A lot has happened.

<Pinches own leg in attempt not to cry>

<Ends up crying over pinched leg>

Boy11 has already got his leavers jumper.

The school did try and keep them until the end of term and away from the children because of the heat (the UK is actually hot at the moment). But then the school clearly caved as they rapidly changed their minds and they just handed them out.

If you don't know what a leavers jumper is it's like a replacement for getting all your mates to sign your shirt or blouse (I wore both).

Now instead they get a lovely hoodie with all their classes nicknames on, and a huge 18 for the leaving year. It's cool.

Boy11 loves the hoodie and wears almost constantly. He loves the new jumper smell on it.

Team Parent (yay!) have told him that if he wants to keep that smell, he has to avoid sleeping in it, leaving it on the floor in the mess of his bedroom, using it as a brakes when he sliding about, and just general don't mush it up. If you love it.

Good general advice for life I feel.

([At soft play]

ChargerPerson: ‘And how old is this boy? If he’s 11 that’s twice the price?’

No no, he’s definitely 10…

ChargerPerson: <Points at the jumper>

Oh that? We just love the number 18 in our house… Great number…

ChargerPerson: <Is suspicious>

It's going to be hard on Boy11.

Not everyone at his school is going onto the same secondary school as him. Most. But not all. And he's old enough to know what that means. What will happen. That he will probably never see some of them again. Or at least not for many years.

The mate he spent most of the disco with, having great fun with, is one of them.

I asked him in the car on the way back from the disco about it. And as he said that mate wasn't going to be at his school. I saw a quick flash in his eyes of regret and sadness, and a bit of anger at the world for taking his mate away.

I tried to explain why it was happening, but failed. Because really it's a bit daft. It’s just adult reasons. Nothing Boy11 will care about.

Instead I just watched him handle his emotions pretty darn well.

I feel the same when someone escapes leaves work.

They are just gone. The main reason that you saw each other has gone. The building you both visit daily. Has become two buildings, and they are not the same.

Sure you can try and keep in touch. But my horribly large age and oldyness tells me the chances of that happening is very low. And rarely happens.

<Wipes nose>

If I ask Boy11 how he feels about saying goodbye.

To the school, to the teachers, to some friends. He is quite sad about it.

Some teachers have made a mark on him. And he will miss them.

They have inspired him. Picked him up when he was down. Taxed him. Tested him. Been fun to be around.

But their days are numbered. The circles of life that they inhabit will soon change to the next lot. But such is the lot of teachers.

Always watching their charges moving on, saying goodbye.

Boy11 has already had his taster day.

For his new school. Annoyingly it was on the exact same day as Miss7's. Which gave Team Parent (yay!) a logistical issue.

i.e. how to be in two places at once. So we divided and conquered. BabyBoy4 was dropped off at nursery. I took Miss7 to her new school and Mrs. Amazing took Boy11 in, catching up with us later.

Mrs. Amazing said as she dropped him off at his new HUGE school with billions of kids in it, some sixteen, already with mortgages and premium bonds and stuff. Boy11 looked a little worried and unsure. Until he saw a friend.

Apparently the relief on his face was clearly visible. And then he was gone until 3pm.

He even walked home on his own.

The fact he can walk to and fro to school on his own.

Is brilliant! We love it! It is going to make the morning run so much easier. Oh sure we've still got two other monkeys to get to school and stuff. But not having to drive across town to drop Boy11 off is going make things so much simpler.

I know, I know. There will be new things coming. After school clubs, events, things we gotta attend still.

But not having to drive him about every mornings and afternoon AT THE EXACT SAME TIME as one of us needs to be getting Miss7. Well that's gonna be pretty sweet.

Of course I will miss it too.

Dropping Boy11 off at school was really good fun. It was nice to see his mates. And see his teachers.

It was ten minutes in the car where we could talk. Or more likely rock out to banging tunes on the radio. I also really enjoyed hanging about in the playground meeting the Mums and Dads doing the same. I've made loads of friends that way and enemies.

But that will now stop for Boy11. Sure I can still pounce of strangers meet new people when dropping off Miss7 and BabyBoy4. But for Boy11 that boat has sailed. The gates are shut. The football practice is over. The tokens have run out. Player 1 has no credits left.

<Weeps and goes off to play on computer>

Secondary school parents rarely set foot on school grounds.

It's true.

Boy11 has been getting me ready for this though.

Not on purpose obv. just in his natural getting older ways.

Somedays the morning drop off stopped being me getting out of the car and walking in with him. To me just letting him out of the door. And then me pulling faces at him as I drive off. Some things have to be done.

Then Boy11 was by my side cycling into school. Which we did four times, before a mate was added to the journey. And that happened once, and then I wasn't needed.

<Howls>

<But is secretly happy to be avoiding that huge amount of exercise>

Then suddenly Boy11 was scooting in on his own. Boy11's need for me or Mrs. Amazing to get him places, is dropping away very very very quickly.

He's now suggesting I don't need to get out of the car when I drop him off places.

A part of me could just weep. I am becoming a taxi service.

And secondary school is just going to make that worse.

The amount of times Team Parent (yay!) will be at the school will be dramatically less.

We just won't be needed so much. Well I hope not. I hope he behaves and we don't need to be visiting every other day.

<Shakes fist>

Boy11: <Is watching tele> 'WOT?'

Boy11: <Shakes fist back>

This morning was the last drop off.

Oh my heart. We chatted in the car and listened to 'All Right Now' by ‘Free’ as loudly as possible, both enjoying the awesome guitars and bass solo.

As we got closer to school Boy11 asked if I could pull over some five minutes away. So he could scoot in the rest.

It's way cooler to scoot in. I hear him. Rather than have his Dad hug him goodbye outside the school gates. Plus scooting in on your own steam is way cooler.

I agreed and was strong and was waving him goodbye when he stopped.

And said...

Boy11: 'This is the last drop off I've got with you isn't it Dad?'

Yep <Is holding back tears>

Boy11: <Smiles at me>

Have a good day! <Reining, reining them in>

Boy11: 'Love you Dad' <Scoots off>

<Has a moment to self in car and removes all the random dust and debris that had clearly instantly flown in my eye and was making my eyes water>

X

The School-Run Walk of Shame...

You can feel their eyes on you.

Asking questions. Why? How? Again? Those shoes?

You're flustered. Hot from running.

Child dragging behind you.

Obviously this is not the about the other walk of shame.

Not the 7am walk of shame, hungover to hell, clearly still wearing last night's clothes.

Maybe some party popper crap in your hair. Knowing that everyone can read you like a book.

Even the bus driver smiles as you mumble for a ticket. Yes everyone knows what you did last night. Personally I've never really felt shame in those moment. I've felt pride.

And had I had the time. And more sleep. And no hangover. Then I am pretty sure I would have walked about with a sign saying BOOM POW. And been high fiving everyone. (This was years ago obv.).

But then I'm male and Lad culture is stupid encourages that behaviour. Sadly.

So to experience the walk of shame. Now.

At my age, thirty-plurburerber (coughs). On the school run.

Was a crap surprise.

Mate: 'Alreet'

<Shows off 'Boom Pow' sign>

Mate: 'You been reading comics again?'

Yes. Obv. But that's not why I've got the sign... <Winks> <Raises eyebrows>

Mate: 'Your eye alright?'

Yes. Ask me why I'm holding the sign! And look <Shows clothes from last night>...

Mate: 'I don't care'

Don't be an arse. CARE!

Mate: 'Fine. Whateves. Why are you wearing last night's clothes, and holding a sign saying 'Boom Pow'?' <Sighs>

Sorry. A gentleman never tells

Mate: 'Then why make me ask?'

...

Mate: <Sighs> 'Hang on… You slept at mine last night!'

<Does shifty eyes>

Mate: 'We played computer games all night and then you went to bed, ALONE, with some wood and paints?'

I hate you You can be a right douchebag sometimes you know...

<Runs>

('What's in the bag?'

Douche's. Obv... It's labeled?)

I'd like to say it wasn't my fault.

That I had to experience the walk of shame. But that's a lie. It was me. Not on purpose. Not planned. Just... yeah whatever. My fault.

I had BabyBoy2 to drop off at nursery and Miss5 to get to school. The exact same time of day as normal. Yet for some reason. Me We left late.

We do a loop on our drop off run. First to BabyBoy2's nursery and then me and Miss5 double back on ourselves, and head off to her school.

So, joyously, we get the full force of a walk of shame.

The School-Run Walk of Shame.

My suspicions were raised.

About our lateness. When I saw a work colleague passing in front of us. He is sickeningly young. Mid-twenties. And as such doesn't arrive early at work. Or late. He arrives exactly when he needs to. On the dot.

Unlike people with children. Who like to arrive early so they can get ready for the day. Have at least two cups of tea coursing through their veins before adults start asking them questions.

Or just time themselves for sanity purposes.

Boss: 'So ready for another day of work?'

<Weeps> Hang on... <Downs cuppa>

<Eats biscuits>

<Checks emails, Facebook, random sites>

<Has a wee>

<Remembers where desk is>

<Makes another cuppa>

Boss: 'Ready now?'

Yes... <Clicks a few more websites>... Yep ready...

One question?

Boss: 'Yes?'

What is it... that we actually do here?

Is it eating cake? Coz then I'm well in...

Boss: 'I don't know why I talk to you in the mornings!' <Grumbles off>

<Whispers to college> What IS it we do?

<Is handed prepared script explaining what we do, with my name on it>

Thanks

It's a bad sign.

I normally pass Mid-Twenties much later on in our journey. Smeg.

I then pass a very old friend (in duration, not age). Despite being late. He's worth a quick chat.

But as he drops his daughter at the same school as I do and he’s heading the other way already...

Then late we must be.

I remind Miss5 she needs to scoot like the wind.

Scoot girl! SCOOT!

Apparently her legs now magically hurt. OK…

LIKE THE WIND!

We plough off and Miss5 does her best. I can't run because she isn't that fast on her scooter.

But we do a good pace. Until we wade into the stream of people going the other way.

I feel like salmon.

(Leap girl! Leap girl!

FishDaughter: ’You know there’s stairs right?’

… Really?... LEAP!)

Then The School-Run Walk of Shame starts in earnest.

I know a lot of the people passing me. Because they are Mums and Dads from Miss5's school.

Their children already dropped off. On time...

'Morning'

Morning

As we are going opposite ways. The conversations are light.

'Morning'

'Morning'

Morning, morning!

The Mums I know are kind.

I guess that they can see I am flustered. Late. And doing my best to corral Miss5 into school.

The Mums I know just say morning like it was a normal morning and we are stood in the playground waiting for a door to open.

Thanks Mums.

The Dads though.

Of which I am one and would be doing the same. Make no mistake. Aren't as nice.

They grin. They smile. They mock. They enjoy my discomfort...

'Oversleep?'

Sod off!

'Heavy night'

Go to hell!

'I've got that book you wanted?'

Shove it where the sun doesn't shine!

'... The north facing side of my garden? Huh?'

Schools are funny.

If you are on time. You end up waiting with the rest of the parents. At the school gates waiting for them to open. In a huge mass of people and children.

Then once the gates open a flood of people funnel into the school all moving in one direction. It's hard to go against it.

Some are rushing and nipping about. Others have all the time in the world, dawdling along.

There’s buggies everywhere. It's hard to move.

Then once the kids are dropped off the mass of people move the other way. And start streaming out of the school gates. You can the trails of people for about ten minutes after a school run. It's kinda of awesome.

And a battle field at times.

So when me and Miss5 arrive.

We hit the mass exit of people head on. And have to battle our way through.

Miss5 is fine and nipping about behind me. Adults that have children are like horses. They can weave their way around little people without putting their hooves down on things they shouldn't. It an parent magic power. Most of the time. Miss5 is fine.

Me though. I am getting bumped and knocked about. Having to wait. My progress is slow.

The Mums I know have gone past already. And now it’s the other people.

With looks of 'What a bad Dad?', 'Late? I wouldn't be late like that...', 'Typical man <Tuts>', 'That poor girl', 'Mrs. Amazing would never be late like this', 'Those trousers?', 'When will the BBC wake up and realise...'

It’s probably all in my head...

Then the stream of people stops.

Abruptly. CRAP! We really are late! Everyone else has had enough time to drop off their child(rens). Mill about a bit. Then leave.

And we've only just got on school grounds.

Smeg.

I tell Miss5 to scoot.

Miss5 has been very good and dismounted once we were on school grounds. As she is supposed to. But I want speed from her. I insist she scoots.

Despite knowing darn well she shouldn't...

Miss: 'OK. I suppose it doesn't matter if no ones here! I can scoot!'

Sigh.

I mentally add teaching her you can break the rules as long as you don't get caught lessons to showing Miss5 how to be late. Really going for the Dad win this morning.

We round the corner and it's terrible. Miss5's classroom door is shut.

I have to knock.

(C-3PO: ‘You sure this is the right place?’

R2-D2: <Beeps and whistles>

C-3PO: ‘Cool. Master Luke needs Vodka, 20 B&H,skins and three Curly Wurlys...’

R2-D2: <Beeps and whistles>

C-3PO: ‘Chewy? Screw him. He can get his own damn comb...')

They are nice.

They open the door and Miss5 bounds in. I apologise for being late. All the while wishing wish I had choosen to be dressed in full disguise this morning. Beard. Hat. Prosthetics. So Miss5's teacher doesn't know it's me.

'Oh no trouble at all, these things happen' she says. I hear 'Well that explains SO much...'

<Sigh>

<Runs out of school as still late for work>

<Stops moments just around the corner as is a bit tired>

<Strolls>

X