Hi! <Waves>

Funny and honest tales from a made-to-work Dad of three, wobbling, graying, and laughing his way through parenthood. Armed to the teeth with Nerf guns, full of pie, fighting a chocolate addiction, but genuinely honoured to be at least half of Team Parents (yay!).

23 November 2017

A Tale of Two... er… Events (I Feel Amazing)...

It's amazing how the world works sometimes.
How two seemingly unconnected events can come together and help each other.
Magic really.
<Does mystical hands>

Seemingly Unconnected Event #1

A week ago.
I was at a party. A late night for a bestie. He was DJing.
So I went. It started at 11pm. Which is not a time I have been out partying at for a couple of decades. As I am thirty-ARHGGHGHHNO!NO!NO!!!WHY!WHY!
Something in me decided I had to go. Stuff the consequences. So as I left that night, just as Mrs. Amazing was heading to bed, she made clear her feelings on me heading out quite so late...

Mrs. Amazing: 'You're crazy'
Crazy cool?
Mrs. Amazing: 'Hmmm...'
Crazy rock?
Mrs. Amazing: 'Err...'
Crazy like a middle aged man trying to regain his lost youth, which will probably end badly, and I'll be knackered forever from this?
Mrs. Amazing: 'Yeah more that. Crazy!'

After the DJing.
There was a band. Then another DJ. And another. 3am it finished. <Gives you a look>
And all the babyshams I had drunk were really starting to take a toll on me especially as I had been chasing them with double Jack Daniels and coke.
There was an after party. Which I attended as it was so late I had no way of getting home. And my, poorly planned, place to kip was at the party.
5am. The party was still in full swing and I'd love to say I was still rocking away. But I wasn't.
It was hella tired and wanting to sleep. But couldn't.
You see 5:30am is often when BabyBoy3 comes in for a cuddle at home. My body clock is timed for waking up at that time. And then rolling over and pretending to be dead so I can sleep for a bit more.
My body clock was not ready to be up and partying at 5am.

(Double JD please!
Barsteward: ‘Here ya go!’
No-no! I meant bottles… <Gives look>)

Plenty of cups of tea kept me going.
Blessed be the tea givers. Even if I was becoming more horizontal with every passing minute. Music was playing. And whilst it was nice and fun music. It wasn't my normal type, and most of it washed past. However one song came on that reached out and grabbed my attention from my 95% sleeping state.

I imagine the song would have just passed me by. Except for one thing. The guy that had put the track on. Loved the track. And knew every word. And he's hilarious. His brilliant mime and actions to it were so good that it had us all in stitches. So much so, we rewound (skipped back) and he did it again.

I finally gave into sleep.
Tea finished. But not before I managed to Google a lyric from the song. So I could find the song the next day.

I woke three hours later.
The party was still going on. But I needed to get home. Somehow I managed to get myself home by 11am. And then slotted seamlessly back into family life. OK it wasn't the day to ask me to rewire the oven or help anyone with homework. But I was cooking. Cleaning. Laundering (real word). Playing with the kids. Upright. A valuable member of Team Parent (yay!). Not a lazy git stretched out on the sofa moaning about a hangover. No.
So much back into the swing of it I was, that I took Boy10 and Miss6 out roller skating that evening. With me skating too. I wobbled a bit more than normal.
Bedtime was done. Mrs. Amazing headed out into the cosmos to battle intergalactic demons. I bathed. And at 9pm I collapsed into bed.
And slept for 12 hours straight.

Seemingly Unconnected Event #2

It was my turn for Boy10's bedtime.
It did not go well. I had had had a long day and was feeling pretty closed off. Low on empathy. So I laid out the law to Boy10.
- You are going to read for 15mins. Outloud.
- Before we play any cards.
- And you need to do your teeth again, as I took longer to wee, then you did to brush.

I did manage.
To get Boy10 to re-do his teeth. Although I did have to stand with him timing the fun. But it was done. But once we got to reading outloud. It all broke down.
And I became the enemy.

Which suuuuuucks!
Boy10 ran away from me and went to find Mrs. Amazing. Who was busy catching up on some work. Boy10 begged Mrs. Amazing to come do his story as he didn't like me.
Looking back I can see what was going on now. But at the time I was hurt and just switched to fine! Whatever! I'm tired! You don't want me to read, then fine! mode.
Mrs. Amazing said no. As she had a) work to do and b) she supported me. Which she did by telling Boy10 that I was doing his bedtime etc. I didn't go down well. He was very distressed about it all.
Poor lad.

(That better be ‘V’ for victory my lad… Else you’ll be in serious trouble!
<Knocks debris off shoulder>)

At the time.
I kept thinking what the smeg! Why is he doing this to me? It's totes unfair. I've done nothing wrong! And I hadn't. But my thinking was just about me thinking. Not thinking for others.
The crap awesome kind of thinking.

Mrs. Amazing worked it out next morning.
Simply by asking. And then re-asking. And asking some more. Which is not something I ever do. I ask. Get answer. We're done.
But Mrs. Amazing kept asking until Boy10 explained why he didn't want to go to school this morning. He really, REALLY, didn't want to go.
Once Mrs. Amazing got the truth out of Boy10. Everything clicked into place. The awful bedtime last night. His turning on me. Yep.
We now had an answer and reason.

Team Parent (yay!).
Amid the chaos of a school morning. Had a quick meeting about Boy10.
The result was to keep Boy10 at home for a day. Yep. Parental approved missing school.

Mrs. Amazing was conflicted about this.
As essentially she is a good girl <Blushes>. Except with regard to Wine, Shoes, waiting to open Presents.
I, on the other hand, not so much. I tend to follow and agree to the rules, as long as they tend and agree with me. <Grins>
So for me the choice was easy. Boy10 is not well enough for school. He doesn't go.
Stress is probably the best and safest description of what was wrong. And I've had days off for stress. Children can get stress. I was very happy with that as a reason.
Mrs. Amazing hadn't thought of it that way. And was a lot happier after I mentioned it.
YES. I was the sensible, thoughtful, bigger picture, one...

Boy10: 'Quick! EVERYONE! Come out side!!! The planets and all the stars are aligning!!!'
Mrs. Amazing: 'Wow! This is clearly a once in a lifetime event'
Yeah... <Is a little hurt>

We took Boy10 out of school for the day. Mrs. Amazing went to see the Head teacher (I was required at work). The head of year was there too. They did their jobs well. Team Parent (yay!) were happy with the conclusion. Reassured. And at no point did they tell us off for taking Boy10 out of school. Which was hella important.
And Team Parent (yay!) were happy as we were supporting Boy10 in the best way we know how.

The Bit Where the Two Events Mix Together (and this, hopefully, finally, makes sense)

Next day.
Boy10 had to go back to school. Both of Team Parent (yay!) had words with him. Nice ones. Encouraging ones.
My little speech was pretty good. Not great. Mrs. Amazing nailed hers.
Boy10 was ready.

It was my turn to drop Boy10 at school.
He played up a bit getting into the car. Fights over wearing a coat. In the UK. In November. Put it on!!!
But I didn't fight at all knowing he was on edge. Just gave calm reminders of expected behaviour and lots and lots of patience.
Eventually. Late. Me and Boy10 drove off.

And I didn't know what to say.
Which doesn't often happen. And because it doesn't often happen with me. It makes it worse. The silence in the car (there was music playing Obvs.) building and growing like a black hole that was sucking the joy and happiness of the world.
I felt this incredible need to reach out to Boy10 and tell it was going to be OK. That everything was fine. That we love him. That we are here for him and will always be. To connect in some way.
I can sense Boy10 wants that too. He even looks like he is dreading school today.
I panic. And playfully punch his arm. Wrong choice.

I get a look.
Damn it my words have utterly left me. We've ten minutes of this hell to endure unless I can think of something. I try and think of some good music to put on. Then I can sing something to him. But every song I want to put on, isn't right. The lyrics aren't right. Radiohead is right out. Floyd's ‘Another Brick in the wall’ is a no. Bob Marley's ‘Three Little Birds' is close. But not quite right...
Think man! THINK!!!

(OK… But I’m not really sure how that’s going to help…
<Starts playing saxophone>)

<Is busy thinking>
<Drives through park, over ponds, up a tree, over the Cricket square, mounts curb, sends pedestrians flying> I GOT IT! <Car hops back onto road>
<Passes Boy10 his phone>
Put a song called 'I Feel Amazing' on...
<Waits while Boy10 signs the hand over forms>

The two seemingly unconnected events smash together and the music I was watching someone else mime, brilliantly, at 5am, at a party. Splats into my head. Ew.

Here's the chorus:

I feel amazing,
Smile on me face from me wake up in the morning,
No time fi badmind no time fi problem,
Somebody tell babylon better unoo warn dem

It’s by Richie Campbell and it’s called ‘I Feel Amazing’.
I had already read and learnt the lyrics (it's what I do). I’m well aware the lyrics are safe for Boy10. I also know the chorus is catchy as hell. And I know it will stick in Boy10's head if I play it to him enough as we drive!
And what lyrics they are! Like a mantra. An uplifting, feel happy about the universe, set of words.

And the coup de grâce.
The cherries all over the top of the cake. The best bit. Is that I don't just have to put music on and sit there waiting for him to listen.
I can copy the mime I had seen as well!

Boy10 reacts first with a 'You are so embarrassing' look.
Which was expected. I expected that. However the joy of the mime I had seen had not been the actions themselves. But the utter joy and happiness that had been put into the actions. And that kind of projection of joy can take a while to infect.
So I mime on, joyousness increased (whilst driving sensibly and carefully).
Both arms up dancing away.

Eventually it gets to Boy10.
Me dancing, huge coat on, miming away, in the confined space of the car. Whilst driving. Trying my best to match Richie Campbell's accent. I iz so damn white.
A beautiful smile breaks across Boy10's face. Thank bacon. I haven't failed him.
I manage to connect. I'm a goodish Dad. Thank bacon. <Wipes tear away>
I did it!

Boy10 leaves the car singing the lyrics.
I may not have managed a great speech that would lift him. My words may have utterly failed me. But I've given Boy10 some words to run around his head today. Some good words. And hell, that's enough. I'm quite proud of myself for that.
Thank you Richie Campbell for the awesome song.

And thank you hilarious mate from the party for that.
There's not much I value above my children's happiness. Cake. Star Wars toys. ChocChoc. Bacon flavoured Star Wars cake toys. I don't think you will ever know how important those hilarious moments turned out to be to me.
And Boy10.

Unless you read this... which you might... I may even show you... so then you'll know... er... thanks… Which I’ve already said....
<Just leaves quietly>

(Over to Richie... (ignore the 20 sec intro)...
... (and the vid, not really sure what that's about really...)
... (I would have just had a lot of people jumping about looking happy)...
...(but each to their own)...
... (great song anyways)...)