Hi! <Waves>

Funny and honest tales from a made-to-work Dad of three, wobbling, graying, and laughing his way through parenthood. Armed to the teeth with Nerf guns, full of pie, fighting a chocolate addiction, but genuinely honoured to be at least half of Team Parents (yay!).

6 April 2016

A New (Hope) Friend...

Miss5 and BabyBoy1 haven't always got on that well.
It's never been an issue from BabyBoy1's side, he loves everyone.
But Miss5… 
<Sucks air through teeth>

When BabyBoy1 arrived in our lives...
(Mostly thanks to Mrs. Amazing’s baby making magic, and my ability to make tea and distribute biscuits. Still part of the team.)
Miss5 took one look at the teeny, tiny, brand new, defenceless baby in the house.
And decided naaa!
Not a fan. Not for her. Plus what was it doing in HER MUMMIES arms!
But fair play to Miss5.
She wasn't mean or nasty. Didn't scream or shout about it. No she maintained her dignity and just utterly ignored BabyBoy1 for about six months. Not even a withering look did BabyBoy1 get.
Sweet huh!

But slowly.
Oh so slowly, she started acknowledging his presence in the world.
We did have to coach her a lot little to even say hi to start with. But Team Parents (yay!) have stuck to their guns and Miss5 will, reluctantly and a bit awkwardly, hug and kiss her little brother before bed now. 
It doesn't help much that he’s a right hugger and a kisser. But we can’t do nought about that. Plus it’s funny.
But it's been a loooooooong slow process.
I did try sticking bits of lego and pasta to BabyBoy1, Miss5's favourites.
In the hope that would get him at least noticed. I tried draping tiny bits of fabric, and glitter on his tummy as well, but that just huge foot-hurting, tripping, foody, fabulous mess.

(Newbie: 'Dude! I think we've done it... It's finally done'
OldPro: <Sucks air through teeth>)

Boy8 however…
Was brilliant about having a little sister, Miss5, some unknown amount of years ago.
He was genuinely excited about it. And he was equally happy to have a little brother turn up too.
I've no idea what we did for, or said to, Boy8 that we didn't do for Miss5.
Or even if it's us at all.
It probably isn't. 
It's more likely to be a very personal thing to each child and how they feel they fit into the clan family .
It is could be dependant on how days I waited until I watched ‘A New Hope’ with them for the first time, in the wee hours, as they failed utterly to sleep, and I held their tiny bodies in my arms whispering 'That's old Ben... He's frikkin' awesome'.
Could a wait of three instead or four days make you more accepting of new a sibling?
Who knows? Everyone. It’s not. Definitely.

It has been a real honour to watch Boy8 and Miss5 get to know each other.
It really mean it. It has, as Boy8 can be very kind and caring to his sister.
We have a lovely picture of him holding a tiny Miss5 and it's one of his most treasured possessions. 
After his Mine-craft save games, Nerf guns, posters, rubbers (erasers), trading cards, cars, car tracks, things he has stuck to the ceiling, his football gloves and boots, and all the money he's managed to swindle out of Team Parents (yay!) and their extended family.

He teaches and guides her through anything she finds hard and, importantly, Miss5 lets him. 
So they both get a lot from their time together and have a lot fun with bonkers games, no sane adult would ever want to be involved, or indeed could have thought of...

Boy8: 'Dad! Dad! We need you to play a game!'
What's the game? Is it weird? Dangerous? If so I'm in
Miss5: <Nods> 'It's the one with the sofa, and the cushions, and we jump about, and we leap'
You don't mean...
Boy8: <Is very excited> 'Sofa-Temple-of-Doom!' <Shakes fists dramatically>
Great game, great game... Hmmm... 
<Ponders> How about big cushions this time, no defending yourselves from missiles…
Andddd a two? second tap-out count… 
<Both nod>
Cool... and no ganging up on me and making me cry
<Both shake heads>
I won't play...
<Both nod lie>

But also, a lot of time sometimes Boy8 can be a right rat-bag (medical term) to Miss5.
It's like he's nitro and she's glycerin. KER-BOOM!
Where's the wall gone? <Is calm>
... Hang on....
I left my sandwich there!!!  

It's happening more often as Boy8 gets older. 
The influence of his friends is showing and although it hasn't happened yet, it will. He will eventually think playing games with his sister is too babyish and not cool.
She will pass out of his attention for a while. Just a while mind. They’ll gravitate back together as the years go by. But it will be hella sad as it will be him growing up and moving on.
<Weeps> WHY WHY!!!
Obviously I will be there to help and guide him through these difficult, life changing and challenging times...

Boy8: '...And that's why I don't want to play with Miss5 anymore' <Dusts off hands>
Hmm interesting... and utter bollocks
a)… She's a right laugh
and b) Don't let being cool make you miss out on fun with Miss5!
That's totally not cool… It’s uncool.. anti-cool... sans le cool
Boy8: <Whispers> 'Like you?'
<Ignores whisper> Now then... put the cape back on…  and get back in there
Boy8: <Reluctantly puts on cape>
<Suggests> Arms up in a Y… like me...
Boy8: <Lamely does it>
LIKE YOU MEAN IT! <Shakes fist> And... Let it GO!
Boy8: <Arms are a bit lame>
Fine... Just copy my lead… <Fans out cape and prepares self...>

But don't worry.
As the Boy8 and Miss5 partnership goes into temporary hiatus, a new relationship is blossoming.
Well starting.

Miss5 and BabyBoy1 have finally connected.
Well Miss5 has. BabyBoy1 connects instantly with all, he's a baby.
Brilliantly though the dynamics of this relationship are utterly backwards compared to Boy8 and Miss5’s. Miss5 is the eldest here, finding the younger sibling all annoying and up in her grill and stuff at times. It's great fun to watch.
And Miss5 is loving her new minion helper buddy.

(It’s quite uncanny the likeness…)

The other day I caught Miss5 and BabyBoy1 playing together.
It was a moment of perfect symbiotic union whereby they both got something out of the relationship. It was utterly sweet and I did my best just to observe.
I was only there as a head-removing facilitator (just go with it).

Miss5 likes to build entire worlds out of stuff.
That day she had the (car boot) box of PlayMobil out. She likes to set up strange and interesting pieces together in a display kind of way. It can be a bit gothic, but very cool as well. 
She's not so keen on realistic representation. More abstract madness.
BabyBoy1 was helping by providing her with strange and unusual pieces to display. He would grab something and pass it to her. She would build with it. 
Only he suddenly ran out.

He had an idea.
I could tell what was going his mind as he did it. Or tired to do it. 
Miss5 likes making things with the Lego heads, who doesn't, so... If BabyBoy1 could get the heads / hair off the PlayMobile people! WINNER!
In BabyBoy1’s mind and mine.

(Ah that feels better… I had the worst headache…and it just lifted…)

Great idea.
Obviously he couldn't remove the heads. They are baby safe.
So I did it for him. What father wouldn't decapitate PlayMobil people for their youngest child? A monster. BabyBoy1 would run over to me for help...

BabyBoy1: 'UhUhUH' (* ‘Come on, chop chop, old man, head and hair. NOW!’)
Yeah yeah... OK mate.. <Pop> Here you go!
BabyBoy1: <Run back to Miss5>
BabyBoy1: 'UhUhOoooooo' (* ‘My lady’)
<Sweaty little palms hand over head and hair>
Miss5: 'Thanks BabyBoy1!' <Smiles at BabyBoy1> 
<Creates art magic>

Each time he delivered a head to Miss5.
BabyBoy1 would just stand there for a moment, lingering, absorbing the smile he got from Miss5. 
It was a thank you smile. A, I like you smile. A, you're not so bad after all smile. 
Basically a hug, but she’s a bit busy building stuff to actually stop and hug, smile.
I can see it means a lot to BabyBoy1. He looks proud and happy, and it makes him feel really good. I can tell by his beaming smile. He clearly likes making his sister happy.
I love this new friendship.
Then he's off again, for his next PlayMobil victim...


P.s. If anyone from PlayMobil wants to send us any stuff that would be great. 
We need more people... heads optional... :)