Hi! <Waves>

Funny and honest tales from a made-to-work Dad of three, wobbling, graying, and laughing his way through parenthood. Armed to the teeth with Nerf guns, full of pie, fighting a chocolate addiction, but genuinely honoured to be at least half of Team Parents (yay!).

20 December 2015

Decompressing and Changing Tempo

Christmas has fully arrived at our house now.
Miss4 has survived her first ever term in one piece.
Boy8 has defied the bookies by making it through his term as well, alive.
But more importantly I don’t have to attend work again until January.
Pinch ME!

<fist pumps>
OWWW!!! What was that for?

I know that not all Dads can, or indeed want to, take this much time off at Christmas and they have my sympathies for both counts.
I however save my holiday for this time of year.
Christmas is frigging awesome and I want here with with my three monkeys children making the most of it.
They will be getting new toys that need playing with.
There is lots of chocolate to be eaten.
I also get to see Mrs. Amazing all day, which is awesome as well.
She rocks just as much as the monkeys monkeys.

(What has happened here? <Looks for clues>)

Miss4 however is utterly wiped out.
Her first school term has really taken it’s toll. She had her very successful début as ‘Very Important Star that Stands on Stage’. I hear the reviews were excellent.
In one term at school she has started to learn to read, be on her own all day, made new friends and enemies. They even got her doing some maths as well. The madness.
That is some hard core, serious ramping up of learning in Miss4’s life.
She has coped brilliantly, I doubt I would be so graceful about it...

‘OK… So you’re current role is…’
‘What is it you do again?’
Freedom fighter
Miss World
Plant pot
<Is removing post-it notes from my face as I talk>
I do stuff <Nods to confirm the lie>
‘I am sure you do’
‘Anyway this quarter you need to learn quantum physics, advanced latin and we want you to start theorising on pretty much everything’
Hmmm… very interesting… sounds like a lovely challenge
<Puts trainers on>
‘Oh, and one more thing...’
<Is doing stretches>
‘We want to do all that whilst you get to know these three hundred people’

No wonder she is utterly knackered and the most just a little temperamental person in the entire universe. To make matters even more awesome she is talking more. Making less sense, but talking more. Just like me at the pub.
Miss4 just needs to decompress.
I feel for her, life is harder when you are tired out.

Boy8 needs to decompress too.
He always does at the end of term. Being eight is pretty exhausting and by the end of term he is either bouncing off the walls or zombied in front of the tele.
Boy8 just needs to decompress too and he will be fine. Nothing bad, he justs needs to unwind.

BabyBoy1 is fine.
His life is full of sleeps, cake, crying, laughing, poo, and lots of hugs.
He does not need to decompress.
He’ll need his break after Christmas when it’s just Mrs. Amazing and him again, and we've all gone back to school / work.

It turns out the person that needs the most rest and recovery it seems is...
<Drums roll>
Well crap on a stick it turns out to be me.

You would think when I got home from work, on my last day of the year, I would walk into the house singing and laughing.
Well I did. But as Mrs. Amazing was wrapping presents (mine) I shooed out of the door and had to wait outside the house for a few minutes. Nice.
Still, a few of the most boring and crappy minutes later, I did walk in the door happy and ready for Christmas, and Brainzilla put the brain elastic firmly into ‘holiday’ mode.
Great! Good work Brainzilla. Surely?

(Make it sausages...)

I have just spend most of the year working. Most of the day talking with adults about adult stuff (!). Things happen logically and sensibly at work.  Without getting all wibbly about it, let’s just say life at work goes at a certain tempo.
And I am used to that tempo. Begrudging heart and bloody defiant soul.
I don’t like it. But it is what is.

The tempo at home is different.
It’s Mrs. Amazing’s tempo. It’s the kids tempo. It’s the tempo of when I am not there.
It’s very different.
I know Mrs. Amazing was hoping I would just slip into the house tempo as walked in the door. I did not.
But I am getting it, I am starting to hear the tune again.

In two weeks time I will have to shift tempo back.
Which does seem a little mad right now and it’s only going to make going back to work even harder. I’ll be in the wrong smegging tempo again.
But I’ll do it. I’ll do it every year until I explode. (That how I will go to win a bet).

Because home is where everyone I love, lives.
I can either try to change them to my tempo. HA! Or I need to pickup their music fast.

Imagine we are are instruments in a orchestra:
Mrs. Amazing - Jazz flute, Boy8 - Drums, Miss4 - Clarinet, BabyBoy1 - French Horn, and me - Tromboner. The choice is mine.

(My instrument of choice in morning... hides other sounds...)

I can either join Mrs. Amazing at the front, and we can conduct and duet this Christmas together.
Or I can be crap third triangle. With a small part, that no one really hears. Grumbling away at the back until I get back to work.
This mad little lot are the music of my life, so I better get with the beat quickly.

<Runs into room singing Bublé stylie as loudly as possible>
ALL I WANT …. FOR … Christmas
<Grabs Mrs. Amazing and we duet together>
<Miss4 sticks her finger in her ears>
<And sticks her tongue out at us>
<Boy8 stands right in front of the tele, ear on the speaker>
<BabyBoy1 dives face first into the sofa>
Duet: Is you!
<We point at Miss4, she leaves the room>
Duet: And you!
<We point at Boy8, he pauses his film, then leaves the room>
Duet: And you!
<We point at BabyBoy1’s bum pointing at us>
Ignore them…