Hi! <Waves>

Funny and honest tales from a made-to-work Dad of three, wobbling, graying, and laughing his way through parenthood. Armed to the teeth with Nerf guns, full of pie, fighting a chocolate addiction, but genuinely honoured to be at least half of Team Parents (yay!).
X

9 August 2015

Talking With My Baby

Me and BabyBoy1 have been chatting.

Well chatting may be stretching it a bit. He only knows one word so far, but I get what he means most of the time. He does good gestures.

(What? Oh... You want two bottles of milk..)

His one word is 'Daddy' 
<Beaming, proud, smile>

Although to be honest it really sounds like DaDee, but I'm claiming it anyway.
He throws in a few Oooooo's and Ahhhh's every now and then, but mainly it's the DaDee.

I feel proud that BabyBoy1's and Miss4's first words were Daddy. I think it shows that I was there, being a Dad. It's like a baby stamp of approval, “Well done, old man, we approve.”
Well I think so anyway.

However....

Recently I was boasting telling a friend about Miss4's and BabyBoy1's first words, and that they were Daddy.
<proud beaming smile>
And there I was, all proud of myself and stuff, when she smiled at me and said:
'Oh! Well I made sure my boys first words were Daddy!'

Which I thought was a bit weird. Until she explained that at ARGHO 'Clock in the morning, she wanted to make sure that both her boys shouted for their Daddy, not their Mummy.
<Proud smile replaced by bottom lip wobble>

How utterly devious and brilliant. 
I can’t even hope of working at that level of genius (bows).
Because it is almost impossible to resist a tiny one calling your name, no matter what time it is. It's also a lot easier to elbow someone else out of the bed, when the little dear is calling their name.

That was clearly a Mummy... He wants you
‘Sounded more like Daddy to me, you go’
<both listen>
‘That was a Daddy!’
Damn it

Anyway, despite BabyBoy1's one word vocabulary and my joy at watching him call everything in the universe Daddy to make me feel special, with just thatone word, that boy sure can say a lot.

Hey dude, how was your day?
'DaDa!' Da da da da da... DA'
Pretty good hey? Good to hear it
'Daaaa'
Your brother and sister been looking after you?
'DA DA DA DA!!! DAAAAAAAaaaaa'
Boy8 stuck straws up his nose and pretended to be a thingy (walrus)...
'DADADADADADA'
.. but, by accident, he snorted milk his nose and started choking...
'daaa'
You were worried about him? He disappeared and you couldn't see him?
'daaaa'
Oh that sounds sad...
'DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA'
.. but then he jumped up and did a funny dance, which at first scared the crap out of you...
'DAAAAAAA DAAAAAAA'
.. but then it made you laugh so hard Mummy had to get her camera to film you laughing so hard...
'Dadadadadadadadadadadad'
... she recorded it for me? So I could see later. That was nice of her
'Dada'
Wish I'd been here for that. I love watching you laugh, I'll see it later...
'Oooooooo'
Did Miss4 play with you today?
'Da Da Da Da'
You were playing Duplo with her?
'DADADAAAAD DADADAD oooooo'
But when you climbed over her head, and smashed her tower to teeny, tiny, little pieces, she got cross with you?
'ooooo'
She picked up all the Duplo and took it away, which made you cry?
'oooo'
... then Mummy picked you up and that made you feel better?
<nods>
'Dadee DaDA?'
Where was I? ... At work
'Daaadaa?'
Yeah most days... 5 in 7...
'DA DA DA DADAAAAAA!'
No, we don't build that many towers there...
'DA Ooooo DA?'
... I suppose it can be fun, sometimes, but not normally
I'd rather be here watching you grow up
'oooooo DA!'
You'd rather that too?
'DA DA DA DAAAA' <arms up>
You don't like it when I leave?
<nods>
'DADADADADADADADA'
Why can't I just stay here and play? Well we need money to buy milk and nappies, and chocolate a few other things
'Oo oo oo'
Why have I fallen into the stereotypical patriarchal role? Whereby providing for my family has become a constant and un-winnable race for more, sacrificing once in a lifetime moments with you for material and status gains, as you grow up at so fast I struggle to remember you were ever a baby? And worse still, I'll perpetuate that cycle by teaching you it as well?
You... Blow. My. Mind!!!
<Shakes head>
‘Oooo’
That wasn't what you meant?
<Shoots me a 'Don't be such a twat' look>
'Oo OO oo!'
Oh right... Yeah, I know you like milk
'O! O! O! Dadaa! Dadaa! Dadaa!'
You want a cuddle?
'Daaaaaaaaaaa' <snuggles right into my neck>
I love you too little fella... <ignores snot and drool and just hugs the tiny boy>
'DADADADADA?'
No, no, it's the weekend, I don't have to go anywhere for a while
'DaDee'
I love you too
<Mentally wills tears to retreat back inside>
Now then, that's enough of this Star Trek crap...
Let's go bundle on the sofa...
'DA!'


(... and then pasta came out of Spooks nose! )


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