Hi! <Waves>

Funny and honest tales from a made-to-work Dad of three, wobbling, graying, and laughing his way through parenthood. Armed to the teeth with Nerf guns, full of pie, fighting a chocolate addiction, but genuinely honoured to be at least half of Team Parents (yay!).
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12 August 2015

She Needs Padding

Miss4 is due to start school in less than a month CRAP!  Ekk!
What is utterly frightening and where on earth has all that time gone?
How can Miss4 be ready to enter academia already? She's tiny! There must be some mistake...

<Phones council>
<Phones school>
<Phones Mrs. Amazing>

... seems there is no mistake, Miss4 does start school in September.
Also, I shouldn't phone Mrs. Amazing when she's sat right next to me. She screens my calls

But on the plus side, Miss4 is going to LOVE school.
It feels like school was created just to please her.

There will be so many things to do, other children to play with, things to make.
She can glue and glitter the entire world if she likes.
There will be more paint available than she could ever use in a day!
There's loads of drawers and weird little boxes, full of weird little things.
She is going to love it!

(What is not to love here?)

She is so ready and keen to learn. She's like a sponge at the moment.
She practices her sounds all on her own.

'Cat!'
'C' <Showers me in spit>
'C' <Again, showers me in spit>
'C' <Looks at me for confirmation of correct sounding>
Very good
<Wipes away spit>

Miss4 has listened for ages to Boy8 learn his numbers and letters. And now she wants in. 
When Boy8 has had to practice his maths in the car, all of a sudden we noticed that Miss4 could answer some too. Without us knowing she had been listening and learning and understanding. She had been getting free schooling. That's mad!

And most importantly she's going to get all the attention she deserves. WE do our best to shine a light on her, we really do. But BabyBoy1 is quite a light stealer. His attempts at injuring himself, are generally quite high priority.

'Where's BabyBoy1?'
I donnnnnnnnn't know... <Panic sets in>
<Washing machine starts>
'Did you put on the washing machine?'
<Both run>
<Finds BabyBoy1 pressing every button he can on the washing machine>

And Boy8 is so much bigger and louder than her. He really can dominate our attention.
I try as hard as we can to make her feel special. Because she is really special to me, she's my only girl. I tell her that too. I don't want her to feel she is middle child fodder, instead I want to feel she is quite unique in our little clan.

But I know it's still not enough. I can't match the attention I gave Boy8 when he was smaller, well, not without ignoring Boy8 totally now. But that just seems a bit mean.

'Dad can we play Cricket?'
Nope sorry, your time is up
'What?'
Yeah, your Daddy time is up. You didn't think it was forever did you?
'Well... I kinda...' <wells up>
It's Miss4's turn now
<Tears trickle down face>
Do you mind answering this questionnaire for me, be honest 
<passes clipboard>
<Bottom lip wobbles like a jelly>
Do you need a pen 
<passes pen>
<Boy8 takes pen and writes something>
Let's see what you put
Oh...
That's not very mature is it...
And it's 'you're', not 'your'...
and there's only one 't' at the end of 'twat'

But what about BabyBoy1, do I just skip Miss4 totally as a lost cause and just concentrate on him?
No. She gets her time.
I made this decision years back. Each child gets as big a slice of pie as I can give and that's it. I can't do more, so why beat myself up about it.
I love pie. No, they can't have any of my pie.

Speaking of pie, and fleetingly returning to the point of this article…

(Made by my own fair hands, and eaten by my own fairly large stomach)

We need to put some padding on Miss4 before she starts school.
Starting school will be exhausting for her and there will be loads and loads of new germs for us all to get (YAY!). Especially Miss4 as she is pretty much a stick-girl.
She was a good and healthy chubby baby, but some time in hospital ruined that, and she's been stick like ever since. No matter how much food we feed her.

So best we put some padding on her ready for the inevitable illnesses.
Mrs. Amazing declared 'Operation Padding' was now in full affect, as she seems to think about this stuff more than I do.
It's kinda of like a anti-diet...

Porridge - Was made with milk, now made with cream
Butter - Was thinly spread on bread, now it's slathered
Cheese - Goes with every meal (As normal)
Water - Why have water when you can have chocolate milk!

You want more cake?
Fine
More biscuits?
Fine have three
More pie?
Oooooo bad luck, it's all gone
<burps>


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