Hi! <Waves>

Funny and honest tales from a made-to-work Dad of three, wobbling, graying, and laughing his way through parenthood. Armed to the teeth with Nerf guns, full of pie, fighting a chocolate addiction, but genuinely honoured to be at least half of Team Parents (yay!).

26 August 2015

I Want Some Baddies

Miss4 asked for some baddies for her Lego. She said the same to Mrs. Amazing too.

Why do you want baddies?
All my Lego is lovely <Said as though 'lovely' is a right disappointment>
We are so sorry
I want to play cops and robbers
I don't have any swords or guns
<Looks at ‘lovely’ Lego>
You're right by George!
<Miss4 looks confused>
Who's George?

Miss4 has a very good point. All her Lego is, well, lovely.
It's nice, it's safe, it's trying very hard to be female positive and yet...
It’s seriously missing baddies. She hasn't even got one.

There are bad women in the world. I'm sure there are. Katie Hopkins
They're out there somewhere those evil, mean and nasty women with guns, with swords, with henchmen, sitting in their castles full of cushions and tiny boxes, surrounded by nice smells.

However I can't think of any female baddies right now off the top of my head... well aside from fictional characters: the Trunchbull, the Goblin Queen, Wicked Witch of the West, Rapunzel's Mum
Where are all the female Lego baddies?

We have this set:

It has this 'lovely' lady in it. By day she sells vegetables and ice cream to other Lego people.
But by night she scoots about town looking for fun with her baguette and bananas. No wonder she look so happy.

I'm not going to get into the Lego for girls argument. A quick glance at the box makes it very clear which sex the manufacturer think should play with it.
Best not to market or tailor Lego to girls or boys. It will annoy parents.
Make Lego for everyone, to build stuff with. Easy.

Oh! and don't call a range of Lego 'Friends' unless you want to be covered in puke constantly, by everyone.

(I hate them all)

Boy8's Lego however, is full of baddies.
There’s Turtles Lego which has Shredder, The Foot and that weird alien brain thing. Star Wars Lego which has Sith lords, battle droids and loads of very cool Storm troopers. (Man I wish had had Lego Star Wars). He also has monsters, pirates, evil and good ninjas. All of these come with guns, lightsabers, nunchucks, and boring swords.

Basically he’s got baddies galore, and they are all boys.
Where’s the evil women?

Miss4 was given £10 the other day so Mrs. Amazing took her shopping to get some baddies.
I felt like I should have gone with her as really 'baddies' and 'Lego' seems more my area.

Then it hit me...

OWWWWW! Who threw that?
<Boy8 sniggers and hides>
Who keeps doing that?

… me claiming that 'Baddies' are more my area is just the same as Lego’s 'lovely' sets aimed at girls.
Damn it. This gender equality non-sexist stuff is hard sometimes.

It’s not as though Mrs. Amazing walks around in bubble wrap in my pocket, she rides in a golden carriage I pull with my teeth. She struts her stuff out in the world just like I do, meeting the loonies and baddies as I do. I bet she handles them better than me too, and greets them with kindness and a smile, rather than my approach of hiding and evil looks as they walk away.

So bad me claiming ‘baddies’.
Mrs. Amazing and Miss4 head off to get Lego and come back with this, and it's almost utterly perfect for Miss4.

(Handcuffs, uniformed men, moustaches, make your own jokes)

Brilliant. A baddie and a copper. Perfect for playing cops and robbers. Happy days.
Of course a female police officer would have been good, and a female thief wouldn't hurt.

Surely there must be at least one female evil Lego character? They can’t all be aspirational and excellent role models, that are smart and work hard?

(All sickly good - Even 'Velma Staplebot', 4th along, top row, volunteers at the local Robot Outreach Centre and makes her own jam)

Where’s all the bitches huh Lego?
Where’s the low down, conniving, lying women?
Where’s the layabout losers?
My daughter wants some baddies!

… and it would probably be good if they weren't all men.
Some men are nice.
<Trips kitten>
<Gets scratched>