Hi! <Waves>

Funny and honest tales from a made-to-work Dad of three, wobbling, graying, and laughing his way through parenthood. Armed to the teeth with Nerf guns, full of pie, fighting a chocolate addiction, but genuinely honoured to be at least half of Team Parents (yay!).

2 July 2015

Willful Baby

BabyBoy1 is becoming a stubborn smegger wilful.
I have no idea where he gets it from, it is a mystery.
MYSTERY! <Shakes fist>

He lets us know what he wants through pointing and 'uhuhuh' noises. It's cute. Awww.
Unfortunately though, he also he lets us know what he doesn't want by screaming and shouting.

Some joyful examples (with translations *): 

You need to have your nappy changed
*But I like sitting in poo... hands in...

You can't lick the plugs! No.
*But I REALLY want to, I got a buzz off that last one...

Yeah... That was my bad... Sorry...
*OW! You bastard!

(I say nothing)
* Cool noise huh!

Poo stays... in... nappies!
<Loses wrestle with BabyBoy1>
Fine... To the shower we go... I hope you're happy.
*I am happy. I shared the poo.

The last two disagreements resulted in me and BabyBoy1... fighting... 
<Hangs head in shame>

Queue the music... <Cough Cough> now please Frankie... 

Rather a David and Goliath fight to be honest (I'm Goliath btw.). Except this time David is only armed with a mean eye poke, and lets face it, David is never going to win.
But I know, a grown man fighting with a 1 year old is only going to have one winner loser. Me (the grown up).

(Bible stories told through beer)

Last night we fought whilst Mrs. Amazing was out. 
I wanted him to go to sleep so I could eat my tea. He wanted to smile at me and be cute (damn his adorable blue eyes).

This morning we fought whilst getting dressed. I wanted him to have a nappy on his butt and the poppers on his trousers done up. He wanted to dive face first off the changing mat, and spend the day 'hanging' free.

Both fights ended up with me getting cross and frustrated and him getting cross and frustrated. Like father like son... Stubborn Wilful.

It was the second fight that made me stop and think, and it's unsurprisingly all my fault and not his. Nope, not his even a little bit. None. Nadda.
All me (You muppet) (Shut up Brainzilla, you suck).

The problem here is not BabyBoy1 becoming wilful... it's me not letting him become wilful
Here is my little boy tentatively stepping down his first paths of choice and independent wants, and what do I do? I block the way with my great big brick wall of grumpy Dad NO!

As normal, I need to chill and think.
No one wants to be a brick wall, except maybe orphaned bricks.
I need to out think BabyBoy1 and show him better ways to get what he wants, such as bribery. Because, and I'm sorry for this BabyBoy1, I'm your key role model in this life (GAWD NO! WHY! WHY!). Heaven help his tiny kicky toes.

So I am still struggling with BabyBoy1, trying, but failing, to get his nappy and poppers done up. I am just about to explode into flame as a whole leg of poppers pops bloody open, again...
When Mrs. Amazing walks, gives BabyBoy1 her keys, and walks out.

BabyBoy1 is instantly calm enough to dress and even being cute again.
Lesson learnt. (I hope) 

<Learns nothing>