Hi! <Waves>

Funny and honest tales from a made-to-work Dad of three, wobbling, graying, and laughing his way through parenthood. Armed to the teeth with Nerf guns, full of pie, fighting a chocolate addiction, but genuinely honoured to be at least half of Team Parents (yay!).

22 July 2015

6 Weeks Summer Holiday...

'Are you going to work today?' asks Boy8 over breakfast.

I've got clean pants on, I'm wearing my best ThunderCats t-shirt, of course I'm bloody going to work.
I grunt a yes back at Boy8.
He knows damn well I am going to work. He just likes to torture me, what a Beiber.

'I'm not going to school today'
I know
<eye starts twitching>

'I don't have to go to school for 6 whole weeks'
I know. Summer hols, yay.
<snaps metal spoon in half>

'Don't you have 6 weeks off work for the summer?'
No. Daddies tend to still work through the summer.
'Do you?'
<Shuts dishwasher, hard>

'Mummy doesn't have to work through the summer'
No, no, she doesn't.
<Gives Mrs. Amazing a look>
<Gets 'Sod right off, I've got 3 lunatics to look after, for 6 weeks, on my own. Whilst you swan about at work, eating biscuits and drinking your hot cups of tea, having grown up chats. It may not be called work what I do, but 'Turkish Delight' damn it's hard work' look>

Mrs. Amazing really can speak volumes with a single look. Her 'that goes in the dishwasher, not where you have just put it’ look is quite famous round our way.

(Off to work I go)

I don't begrudge Boy8 his time off, I'm just well jell.
He needs it. He really does.
Over the last few weeks, coming up to the end of term, you could see his energy levels plummeting.
The bags under his eyes kept getting bigger, no matter how early he was put to bed (He's a midnight 8pm Lego builder), he still seemed knackered.

I don't mind the school pushing him, you can only get stronger by being pushed, but it's hard to watch sometimes.
Mostly. Boy8 has managed to keep it together at school, learning stuff, like he should.

Good work boy, have a Wine gum!
<picks one>
Dude! ... Not a black one... It's not graduation day….
<picks another>
Green is fine.

However at home his keeping it together has been less 'effective' shall we say (WE SAY).
We get the emotional fall out from school.
But that’s part of our job as Team Parent (yay). We understand that, when he's away from home he behaves, so he doesn't have to when he gets home.

Hang on... That can't be right can it?
<Mrs. Amazing nods sagely>
Can't it be the other way round? <Asks thymely>
'No' <Shakes head parsley>

I would love to tell you that I've done my bit by managing to be more empathetic, supportive, understanding and loving over this tiring time for him. But it would be a lie.

Summer holidays used to be the best thing in the world that I LOVED!!! 
And now they're not. They're something that happens to other people. 
They don’t directly affect me, I still go to work.
When did that happen?

The traffic is lighter I suppose. yay! #livingthedream

(Traffic during summer hols... But why?)

Before I leave Mrs. Amazing tells me their plans for the day:
'Mooch about for the morning, some board games, film maybe'
'Followed by a picnic at a national park in the afternoon, with some friends'
That sounds like fun, tell me all about it when I get back from work.
<Fights back tears>

But really...  don't tell me. I don't want to hear how much fun you've all had, whilst I was bored working really hard at work.

Ohhhh fine!
Go on, do tell me, I want to hear really. I love you lot a lot, and I love to hear what you do. If I can’t be there, then hearing about it is definitely better than nothing.
But if you could dial down the glee and fun levels, a warp or two, for me, then that would be good.

When I do get back from work, I ask Miss4 how her day was:

'We had the best time today'
Did you? That sounds fun. What did you do?
'Well the park was awesome, I climbed trees, chased some birds, fed the ducks, then we played a great game with big hammers'
<looks confused> 'I didn't sneeze'
The game with the big hammers is called Croquet.
'No, no, that wasn't it, it was Poquet or something like that.
'OK' <Ignores me>
'Then we had a yummy picnic, there was all your favourites, pie, crisps, other pie, chocolate, tea, cheesecake, more pie, meats, pies'
<Closes eyes and goes to happy place to stop the tears>

'Guess what we did this morning?'
Flobbed about a bit and then watched a film, whilst playing board games?
'Yep and... we played all your favourite games!'
Oh good...
'Then we watched a film, your favourite!'
Really which one?
'I'd not seen it before… er…. Car Toys… no… er…'
'... no… er… Space… Space Fights!'
Star Wars?
<Runs weeping out of the room>

Oh good bacon sandwich would I love to be off work for the summer.
Watching Star Wars and eating pies with the kids. Instead of being at work. 

It truly sucks looking at the lovely weather through a window.
We have air-con at work which means entire heat waves can pass me by. It can rain and I may never notice.
Surely that isn't right, it doesn't feel right.
Surely, I should at least be connected to the real world, enough, to notice when it rains?

But for a change I am not alone in this. Miss4 is in the same boat as me, good. Nursery is not term time, and she's still got to go in on her normal nursery days.
She may be less eloquent than me (just), but she manages to convey her thoughts on this better than I can.

Nursery today, you ready?
'Poo poo' <Blows raspberry>

I hear ya, I hear ya...

Alice... if you would play us out... ta....

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