Hi! <Waves>

Funny and honest tales from a made-to-work Dad of three, wobbling, graying, and laughing his way through parenthood. Armed to the teeth with Nerf guns, full of pie, fighting a chocolate addiction, but genuinely honoured to be at least half of Team Parents (yay!).

17 July 2015

Boyish Behaviour

'He's such a boy' says Mrs. Amazing about BabyBoy1.
I pick him up and check.
Yep, that's a boy.
He may be related to a bear or an elephant. But defo a boy. #proud

BabyBoy1 was throwing himself about on my (our) bed. In a boyish way apparently!
Which as far I can tell means either 'with no concern for life or bodily harm' or 'like an idiot' or 'is going grrrrrr or zooooom' or drunk.

Miss4 is sat next to the bed, sorting and resorting her little bag of hair clips. Calmly and quietly. Which is definitely not boyish behaviour.

Boy8 then leaps on the bed with us all and a three way bundle-wrestling match occurs. Me vs Boy8 vs BabyBoy1. Of course I help BabyBoy1 join in so he doesn’t get flattened or broken. Whilst Boy8 does his best to knock me off the bed, so he can laugh about it.
I suppose one day he will achieve it, and I’ll be hurt (both physically and mentally), but being cautious of that, sounds a lot like planning ahead to me. Smeg pants to that!

Go on, try and push me off the bed.
<Boy8 pushes with all his might, I don’t move an inch>
Ha ha haha ha!

As long as he doesn’t grow stronger and bigger, annually, I’ll be fine.

Miss4 wants to join in the bundle-wrestling match, and she does join in. But in her own way. She waits until we are all pretty stationary and then leans against me. More bundle lessons for her needed.
Good times though. Good bundle times.

I note that Mrs. Amazing didn't join in the bundling at all (wuss!) and that she probably has a good point about behaving in a boyish way, it seems.
Despite being only 1, BabyBoy1, is already behaving in a way that could be described as boyish. He understood the main principles of bundling instantly, hurt the others, avoid pain yourself.

(Some ladies love a good bundle/fight)

But how? Odds are high he is copying me and Boy8, who is also copying me (THE PRESSURE!) <buckles>

But then there are two girls in the house too.
BabyBoy1 has two boys to learn from, and two girls. So really he should be 50/50 - able to wrestle whilst sorting hair clips, a valuable skill.

But he isn't. As I watch him bash his head on the bars of the bed, again. He is definitely behaving in a boyish way. Like me and Boy8 he finds hurting himself a bit, pretty bloody funny. And is prone to doing it again and again.
Miss4 didn't do this! She would sit nicely and safely and if she did hurt her head, wouldn't do it again (Weirdo).
Boy8 of course is all about the head bashing.

But how, is it built in? Is it his genes? Does everyone in his life thrust this behaviour on him?
I pick him up and ask him.

Natute? Nurture? Or Environment?
'<face slap>'
Hmmmm Nature?
'<face slap>'
'<face slap>'
'<face slap>'
You're not a product of any outwards influences, genetics, or upbringing? You're your own person with your own destiny and it's more a conscious decision on your part on how to behave, rather than anything I'm trying to attribute it to.
'<eye poke>'
Fair enough. Thanks.

So there you have it from the mouth of babes, well my babe.
However... just what the hell is considered Boyish behaviour? Farting, picking your nose, bum jokes? (Can’t be, Miss4 loves all of those). Frankly, I don’t know.

So instead of any real definition of ‘Boyish Behaviour’  I present some things me and Boy8 do that the girls don’t normally join in with.

Liking a challenge / Competitive behaviour

Boy8 loves a good a challenge.
Can you ride your bike around the garden 15 times before the Cricket highlights finish?
'OKAY! OnYourMarksGetSETGO!'
<Smug Dad relaxes into sofa>
That was quick. Are you sure you did them all?
'Maybe you better watch me?'

Well played Boy8 <golf claps>
Oh he's learning quick <Flicks off tele>

I was at a adult party the other night, true there were 5 kids there, but none of them were mine, so that counts as an adult party.
A board game came out and the two boys there were set the challenge of how many press ups could they do in 30 seconds. After they had finished, someone (me) suggested the men repeat the competition. My winning arms and chest hurt for days after that. Worth it.

Ball love

Boys seems to love their balls. And who would blame them, balls are great. Who doesn't love the feeling of their own ball in their hand, or indeed if you have two, holding your own two balls in your hand. (Oh grow up Mrs. Amazing).
I am talking about round balls, rubber balls, bouncy balls - A spherical object used for play - Not testicles.
In the interest of, and with apologies to, science I conducted a scientific experiment with my kids to see who enjoys balls the most (Mrs. Amazing was not there so stop me, obv).

I throw ball to Boy8.
He throws it back at my head as hard as he can.
DUDE!... <Is shocked>
Great throw!

I throw the ball to BabyBoy1.
He crawls off after it. He tries to eat it, he pushes it along. There is real love there between BabyBoy1 and the ball. I have to fight BabyBoy1 to retrieve the ball and it is hard fought, but I win eventually. #StillGotIt

I throw the ball to Miss4.
She wasn't looking and it hits her in the face. Cross, she grabs the ball and runs off to hide it.
She comes back a few minutes later, tongue out at me, and then sits down where she had been before and continues playing Duplo.

Where'd you put our ball?
<Blows a raspberry at me>
We never did find that ball.

Dead arm contest

Wanna have a Dead Arm Contest?
'YEAH! What's that?'
We punch each other in the arm as hard as we can!
'COOOL! Me first!'
Oh yeah! good one, I thought my arm was literally going to fall off, it definitely didn't feel like a butterfly had farted on my arm.
My turn… <winds up>

(It became quite a tourist attraction)

We find him some miles away. Unhurt. Bit of a bruise on the arm, and a little bit shocked.
You OK?
'YEAH! My turn!'
Great game.

Miss4? Do you want to play?
<Doesn't dignify question with answer, and leaves room>

Put a peg on your face

'LOOK DAD <winces from peg on nose>'
Brilliant, try this <pegs eyelid and regrets it, but fakes a smile>
'YES! Pass me the peg... OWWWW'
Bravo boy, bravo.
Isn't it hard to breath though?
'Mo mits mot. Moesn't meven murt'

The funny thing is no matter how fun we make this game look Mrs. Amazing and Miss4 refuse to join in. BabyBoy1 is so keen he almost tears the strap off his high chair to join in. But the girls, not so much.
Guess we know who the winners in this game are!

(Clue: It's not the people with pegs on their faces).