Hi! <Waves>

Funny and honest tales from a made-to-work Dad of three, wobbling, graying, and laughing his way through parenthood. Armed to the teeth with Nerf guns, full of pie, fighting a chocolate addiction, but genuinely honoured to be at least half of Team Parents (yay!).

19 May 2015

She Is Taking The Smeg

Miss4 has carefully, and fair play, it probably took her a lot of time and hard work, made a mess on the floor.
(Exhibit A: Note the precision)

In fact she hasn't just made a mess on the floor. 
She’s gone one above that. She’s graduated from just making a mess on the floor, she is now making made an ‘organised’ mess on the floor. 

The implications:
a) Some poor sucker is going to have to pick it up. (ME! Bet it’s me!) (Mrs. Amazing did it, she spends less time written stupid blog entries and instead just tidied it up. Weirdo).

b) 3m2 of our wooden floor is now a death trap. An actual, literal, real one, literally. I'd estimate the probability of death is about Domestos - Kills 99.99% of all known parents.

c) There is now a new 'Art' installation that cannot be disturbed, moved, or slipped over on. Else there will be lots and lots of tears and Miss4 will probably not cuddle me until she needs a car.

d) The house’s Feng Shui is ruined! Death traps at the bottom of stairs really block up those positive vibes.

e) I am going to die this evening in the dark, when getting medicine or water, at ARGHHHO'clock in the morning. I slip easily. I hurt easy too.

f) g) h) and bloody i) Despite mine and Mrs. Amazing's best efforts to battle the exploding mess of the house, Miss4 is not only thwarting (I love that word, thwart,thwart,thwart) our best efforts, she is mocking us. 

She is making mess in a organised way. 

Yeah just let that sink in. Look at it! There's a pattern there! <Sobs>

(Exhibit B: The death trap)

In our faces! Mocking!
Making mess…. but in an organised way. Oooo... <shudders>
Has she no shame?

This is the work of a real criminal genius. It's the equivalent of stealing a Picasso but leaving behind a Damien Hurst.
'I did it because I can. Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha'

You win this battle Miss4, good for you. 
But it's been noted and when you do start introducing boys to us you'll find your baby photos are annoyingly close to hand. 

Plus what young boy isn't impressed by a Dad that sings show tunes!
Heh heh <Prepares cape>