Hi! <Waves>

Funny and honest tales from a made-to-work Dad of three, wobbling, graying, and laughing his way through parenthood. Armed to the teeth with Nerf guns, full of pie, fighting a chocolate addiction, but genuinely honoured to be at least half of Team Parents (yay!).
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28 March 2018

Paintin' with BabyBoy3...

I was sat with BabyBoy3.
Just us two. Mrs. Amazing and Miss7 had gone out to a party (Miss7's friend had a party, not the two of them clubbing and tearing up the town, I believe… <Is suspicious>)
Boy10 was slumped in front of YouTube, headphones on, developing his tweenager skills.
Which meant me and BabyBoy3 had some time together.
Which he was delighted with...

Let's do some painting!
BabyBoy3: 'YAYYYYY' <Jumps up and down with excitement>
I'll get the paints, can you get two glasses of water?
BabyBoy3: 'K' <Runs off>
[Comes back with paints]
Here's the paints... Where are you BabyBoy3?
[No sounds]
Little dude-do-do? Where are you?
[More no sounds]
Hmmm... <Checks the loo>
<Finds BabyBoy3 filling up cups from a sink that has a step in front of it>
<Also sees water everywhere>
Ahhh... <Whispers> You want a job done...

(Can I have a nice picture of you?
Smiling and showing how much fun we are having?
BabyBoy3: <Covers eyes and refuses to remove them>
<Grumbles>)

After a tidy we were ready for painting.
I had two goals:

1. To improve his hand eye coordination and to improve his ability to draw.

The reason for this is that BabyBoy3 starts school in September. EKKKK!!!
ARHGHGHGHGHGHGGHG!!!!
<Runs about in circles panicking>
<Weeps>
<Howls>
<Baaaas>
<Pull self together>
<Worries about the baaaaing, blames Melchett>

To be honest. I'm not entirely sure I am ready for my baby to be all going to school and stuff.
<Weeps>
OK I’m not. In anyway or shape or form.
<Mans it out, has only eye leakage going on now>

Unlike the other two.
At this age. BabyBoy3 isn't very good at his letters yet. He's not a drawing fan.
Whereas Boy10 loved drawing and had some letters down. I'm pretty sure he could scrawl something that Team Parent (yay!) could identify as his name by now.
The reason Boy10 had those skill is that he had both of Team Parent (yay!) and all the extended family watching his every move. Helping him along.
It was practice after practice for Boy10.
Miss7 on the other hand has always been drawing and writing for fun. And so learnt it all quickly and early. She loves a good drawing session.
Whereas BabyBoy3 has not had that attention. The curse of the third child (like me).
Or he careth not.
It could be either.

(<Has another plan for improving hand eye coordination!!!>
This my terrors loves is Sonic the Hedgehog...
<Does choir ahhing sound>)

2. I want / need BabyBoy3 to draw something vaguely recognisable for a card. Anything will do.

BabyBoy3's painting is generally very surreal so far. In that rather than anything being recognisable, it's more a wash of colour. One colour. He's very enthusiastic about getting the paint on the paper.
Not so much about how and where it goes on the paper.

Anyhoo, my goals described...

I thought I'd start with painting basics.
I was feeling confident and thought that if I sat with BabyBoy3 painting, I could teach him some basics that would really propel him along.
So I drew with my paint brush a square and asked him to draw one just like mine.
His response I wasn’t expecting.

BabyBoy3 lent over to my paper.
Awkwardly, over me. And vaguely drew around my square.
We exchanged looks. Me wondering what on earth he was doing. Him wonder what on earth I was asking him to do.

Next I drew a triangle.
But this time I drew it on his sheet of paper. And again asked him to draw a triangle, but this time on his sheet of paper.
Again not expected results.
Again BabyBoy3 lent over me and tried to draw on my sheet.
I pointed at his paper again. No, here mate.
He looked confused. Then scribbled out my triangle on his sheet with a wash of one colour.
Gave me a fake 'Is that what you wanted' smile.

Undeterred I showed him that by drawing a square and triangle.
A few times you could easily make a house! EX-SMEGGING-CITING!
He carethed not.

Next I went for the prize.
A letter. His letter. The first letter of his name which he knows, recognises, and now every single word starting with that letter (which I ain't telling) is his name.
No matter what word it is.
Or how inappropriate that word is...

BabyBoy3: 'That's my name'
Shhhh no it isn't... That's another word…
<To all nearby> Just FYI I didn’t name my child what that sign says. OK!
<All run>

I drew a letter.
It was wrong. BabyBoy3 said so. Art isn't really my thing. Especially drawing letters that look the letter they are trying to represent.
BabyBoy3 looked at my letter and said no. That was not his letter. My font was wrong.
Harsh I felt.
I tried again.
BabyBoy3 lent over and scribbled out my letter, with a one colour wash. Red this time.
In a sort of ‘How dare I draw his letter so badly’ way.
I gave up on goal one.

(Hmmm…. It’s good....
But I think it’s more important I get you guitar immediately…
How’s your Manc accent by the way?)

Goal two.
Get him to draw something that is card worthy.
Attempt one and two, were no goes. One colour washes.
Attempt three worked though, but that was only because we stuck dinosaurs all over it. And I stopped him washing it in paint four times. And I limited his access to the black paint once I realised he was going for black bear in a coal shed covering its nose motif.
Goal two complete.

We'll come back to Goal 1 another day.
Or we'll just send in Miss7 with paints. Leave them for the afternoon. Accept the mess. And after cleaning paint of everything imaginable…

Why’s there paint on your bum?
How did it get up your nose? Is that rainbow up there?
Miss7: <Looks proud>
Impressive… If not a little weird...

… reap the rewards of BabyBoy3's new found letter skills.
<Holds out reaping rewards bag>
<Is disappointed>

I'll suggest my brilliant plan to Mrs. Amazing later…

<Suggests>
Mrs. Amazing: '... and you'll do the cleaning up?'
What! I never... Sigh... Yes... I suppose...
Mrs. Amazing: 'Then I'm up for it!'
Cool!
Mrs. Amazing: <Whispers> 'It'll never work'
What?
Mrs. Amazing: 'Do you like my shirt?' <Pulls shirt tight over chest>
<Is distracted>
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