Hi! <Waves>

Funny and honest tales from a made-to-work Dad of three, wobbling, graying, and laughing his way through parenthood. Armed to the teeth with Nerf guns, full of pie, fighting a chocolate addiction, but genuinely honoured to be at least half of Team Parents (yay!).

16 February 2018

Is Your Sun Up? (Gro-Clock)...

We've let it slip again.
Which is annoying as Team Parent (yay!) worked really hard on this last time.
It took a lot getting up really early, but we persevered and got the rewards.
BabyBoy3 was managing to sleep until it was wake up time.
Except we've now let it slip.

I love my children.
They are fab. I just wish they would sleep when they are meant to. That would be really good. Then Team Parent (yay!) would get more sleep. And life would be better for all. It's a win win.
It's just hard to make them see that way...

[ARHG O'clock in the morning]
BabyBoy3 go back to bed
BabyBoy3: 'No!'
<Stern voice> It's very early in the morning go back to bed
BabyBoy3: 'No!' <Gets back into bed anyway>
BabyBoy3: <Lies the wrong way up in bed, kicks off all the sheets>
Close enough... Night...

(BabyBoy3: <From his room> ‘YAY MORNING!’
TeamParent: <In bed, hiding> ‘BOO MORNING!’)

We have one of those clocks.
A time machine. A Gro-Clock. We had one for Boy10 and Miss7, and now BabyBoy3 has one.
All of them rebelled against it. Fight the power!
The idea is simple. You set the time you want the 'Sun' on the screen to come up. And when that time comes up, the screen changes from a blue sleepy night time picture, to a happy sun picture. There's even an adult lock on it.
So no little hands can alter it.

Boy10 altered it.
He hacked it (as he would say). He jabbed buttons until the sun came up. So we never bothered with the adult mode again. I say Boy10, but he was Boy3 back then.
There was a little while where the clock worked and Boy3 stayed asleep. But I am pretty sure that wasn't for very long and eventually we gave up with the Gro-Clock with Boy3.
There was a few times when we found it unplugged and Boy3 stood there telling us it went off all on it's own, but he did see the sun come up honest guv', just before it went off.
Other times Boy3 would come running in and announce that the sun had come up, only for us to check our clocks and find out the horrible truth.
But on the whole the clock worked well enough that we used it again.
For Miss7 - Who was at that time Miss3.

Miss3 reacted differently to the Gro-Clock.
Most of the time she got it. Most of the time. We still had the same discussions about whether or not the sun had come up with her. She would sit and watch the stars go out until morning. One an hour. <Gives you a look>
The main difference between Miss3 and Boy3's approach to the Gro-Clock. Was anger.
Miss3 broke it...

What on earth was that noise? <Goes to see Miss3
Miss3: <Sat in corner looking furious>
What's this cable?
Miss3: <Huffing sounds>
This is the Gro-Clock cable, where's the...  clock? <Fears the worst>
Miss3: <Points into the hallway>
Oh no... <Checks for pulse> <Attaches power cable>
... I'm afraid it's gone...
Miss3: <Whispers> 'Good'

(Mrs. Amazing: ‘What’s that?’
The Bat-Clock…
Mrs. Amazing: ‘Oh….’
Mrs. Amazing: ‘...I thought it would have been bigger.’
<Lots of giggling>)

I probably could have fixed the clock.
I'm a believer. And a fan of taking stuff apart and jabbing it with a screwdriver until it works or not. But considering Miss3 had broken one Gro-Clock Team Parent (yay!) were not about to throw more money at Miss3. For her to literally throw about.
We're not silly all the time.

So BabyBoy3 does not have the family Gro-Clock.
Passed down through the generations. Both of them. That clock died. From clocktracide.
BabyBoy3 got a brand new one. Which I suppose goes to show just how much we thought the Gro-Clock did work. Despite all I am saying, it still did a lot of good stuff.
It's main bonus was being able to discuss the time with tiny people very early in the morning in a very black and white way...

Is your sun up?
BabyBoy3: 'Er....'
Simple question, yes or no?
BabyBoy3: 'Um....'
That's a no then. Back to bed!

Now try that without the Gro-Clock and it's polarising powers on whether or not it is time to get up...

Do you know what the time is?
BabyBoy3: 'No'
It's far too early, look...
BabyBoy3: 'I literally have no idea what I am looking at, I can't even read my name yet. What the hell are those little lines? …'
It says it's far too early, go back to bed...
BabyBoy3: 'Are you sure you're reading it right? It's not'
Yes I am and it is
BabyBoy3: <Points at the window>
Yes I know the real sun is up and beaming in the window... But it's very early morning and we need you to go back to sleep
BabyBoy3: <Opens curtain> 'Oh father, but look it's a glorious day already! UP! UP! Come and share this day with me! ...'
Go back to bed... Zzz
<Fake sleeps and hopes BabyBoy3 goes round to see Mrs. Amazing>

See! Quite a difference.
The Gro-Clock provides a very simple way to not get involved in basically what is a conceptual relative time conversation first thing in the morning before you've even had your first cuppa.
There's some merit in things.

Still results may vary and all that.
As the two bugs have shown. And of course BabyBoy3 has his own interpretation of the Gro-Clock and its effect on him. BabyBoy3's take on it is that he ignores it.
He knows the rules. Don't come and see us until your sun comes up. So he doesn't.
But he does get up. Starts playing with his toys. Noisily. Shouting at stuff as only three year olds do. We hear the toilet door opening and closing a million times. A light from his bedroom going on and off. He’s no ninja yet. And BabyBoy3 is up and his day has started.
Far too early.

And because he does know the rules.
But only wants to do his interpretation of them. BabyBoy3 waits until the sun on his clock does come up. Which is still far too early in my book, but it's the time we set.
BabyBoy3 waits for the sun and then comes running into us.
Miss7 in tow. Utterly silent...

BabyBoy3: 'MY SUN'S UP!!! YAYYYY!!!'
Miss7: ‘Mummymyclocksaysit’stimetogetup.Whyarn’tyougettingup?’
<Is hiding under covers><Where it's warm>

What choice do we have?
None. Team Parent (yay!) are bound by our own rules. We have to get up and start the day. We can't tell the kids to stay in bed until X-o’clock and then change it. Why would BabyBoy3 every care about his sun if we don't follow it ourselves.

So back to us letting it slip.
We have allowed BabyBoy3 just to get up when he feels. Mainly so we can sleep.
But that’s backfired as BabyBoy3 isn’t getting enough sleep now. And is whiny all day.
Which is exhausting, better we have less sleep than him.
So now we've got to train BabyBoy3 to stay in bed and sleep again. Until his sun is up.
Team Parent (yay!) know what we have to do. It's pretty simple. We just don't want to do it.
We will though.

We were on it this morning.
Which is why if you see either of us, we looked extra tired. Not tired. Extra tired.
A whole hour before sun up time. BabyBoy3 was up.
And Team Parent (yay!) being the good team we are tried to out pretend each other being asleep, we shared the early morning pain.
Of putting a very sweetly apologetic BabyBoy3 back to bed, and then tucking him in.
Kissing him good night. Again. Turning off his light and pointing at the Gro-Clock.
And telling him to stay in bed until your sun comes up.

Should only take a week or so to change his habits.
And considering how many years I've got by on this sleep.
I doubt the decrease in sleep will have any affect on me at all...

[Piers Morgan is talking on the radio]
<Listens, doesn't smash the radio to bits and burn the tainted circuits, just listens>
Hmmmmm... You know this Morgan twat fella is actually an utter twat quite interesting and worse than everything soulless and evil in the universe insightful...
Mrs. Amazing: <Dials 999>

(HEY! Does my butt really look that big? Hell yeah!
<Swaggers off>)