Hi! <Waves>

Funny and honest tales from a made-to-work Dad of three, wobbling, graying, and laughing his way through parenthood. Armed to the teeth with Nerf guns, full of pie, fighting a chocolate addiction, but genuinely honoured to be at least half of Team Parents (yay!).

12 September 2015

The Sleep Strikes Back

Did that just happen?
Did I really just do that?
Am I dreaming?
Am I that drunk?

Did I manage to put BabyBoy1 down to sleep and then leave him ALONE! to finish putting himself to sleep?

(There may be troubles ahead... But while there's chocolate and wine...)

I only sang him one song. Not the normal rock opera medley, with actions, he's used to.
I didn't rock him in my arms him as per the Team Parent (yay!) agreement of two days ago.
I did everything I am meant to do and he's just gone to sleep.
Just like that.
Must buy a lottery ticket later.

AND… Even better, Boy8 and Miss4 are fast asleep too.
And it didn't take the normal two-hour long pitch battle, hug-sing-rock-ignore-a-thon.
No chasing the buggers back to bed.
No teddy removal.
No sobbing by me.
No freeze rays.

Back pats all round, especially for me, can't wait for Mrs. Amazing to get back so I can brag share my achievement with her.
<High fives self>
<Feels a prat>

But whilst I am half way through my ‘Nailed-Bed-Time' dance Miss4 utterly ruins my magic moment.
By standing in her doorway, not asleep, hands on hips, and knickers on her head.

'Where's Mummy?'
Gone out, go back to bed
<Stifles laugh>
And take those knickers off your head
'No!' <adopts pissed off, I ain't sleeping, NO WAY pose>

No, no, no, I don't want to fight.
Miss4 wants to fight, she is looking for the fight. She loves the fight.
Fights with her take ages and end up with Miss4 in tears, half of her toys in the hallway and me grumpily eating my tea after the watershed.
No, let's not fight tonight, think man think!

Wait I can still hear the car!!! YES! That will derail this fight!
Quick let's go wave goodbye to Mummy!

Miss4 runs off to my bedroom to wave.
I grab the now crying BabyBoy1 (damn it) and join her.

Miss4 waves furiously to the escaping Mrs. Amazing. Despite having had at least five gazillion goodbye hugs earlier, and having had spent the entire day with her. Miss4 still feels the need to wave like an ocean goodbye.
Also Miss4 still has her knickers on her head.

I've accepted them, and frankly she's rocking the look.
I consider getting my boxer shorts and joining in... maybe not. Public street and all that, maintain at least some dignity.

Mrs. Amazing mimes 'I Love You' to Miss4 from the car.
Miss4 mimes back 'Brain, Nipple, Point'.
Close enough.

Suddenly I get a film-jà vu. I've seen this moment of real life before in a movie: ‘The Empire Strikes Back’. You may have heard of it.

The end scene where Chewie (big hairy fella) and Lando (Apollo, Billy Dee) head off to rescue Han Solo (Indiana Jones) who’s frozen in carbonite (ice), leaving Leia (Carrie Fisher), Luke (Luke), R2-D2 (awesome robot) and C-3PO (gold annoying robot) waving goodbye.

Which means Mrs. Amazing can choose to be either Lando, or Chewie. I feel she would choose Lando in heartbeat, if she gave a crap.
Boy8 has to be Han as he's still fast asleep, or is at least playing Lego quietly enough that I can't hear him.
Miss4 has to be Leia; stroppy headstrong princess, perfect match.
BabyBoy1 is essentially R2-D2 anyway. 'Beep beep', 'Gah gah', practically the same. Both are slow to move and hilarious.
The cat walks into room, he's orange, which is pretty close to goldy-yellow, and he's pretty annoying and always in the way. There's my C3-PO!

Which leaves me Luke. Damn it. Why can't I ever be Han!
I am still wondering if being Luke is a good or bad thing, when Miss4 slips off the window ledge, and lands heavily on my foot.


Clearly with that wuss battle cry, I now have to be Chewie.
But Chewie should be in the Falcon (car) with Lando (Mrs. Amazing).

I considering leaving Leia (Miss4) in charge and then legging it with Lando. 

<Gets in car>
'What the hell are you doing?'
Coming with you!
'Have you left all the kids alone?'
Yes... Nooooo... Leia's there
But forget that Lando! Let’s go save Han! PUNCH IT!!!
<Gets punched and pushed out of car>
'Go look after your children'
'Love you!'

But obviously I didn't leave all the children alone, and Lando (Mrs. Amazing) starts the engine and squeals away.
Leia will never know the POWER she very, very nearly had.

R2-D2 beeps and whistles and makes me smile. He’s awesome.
(And this film-jà vu must be from some crap plot-changing un-special edition that I haven't seen and does not exist). #HanShotFirst #Good #HopeItHurt

(Wait… Come back! He’s asleep in his room... Just down the hall...)