Hi! <Waves>

Funny and honest tales from a made-to-work Dad of three, wobbling, graying, and laughing his way through parenthood. Armed to the teeth with Nerf guns, full of pie, fighting a chocolate addiction, but genuinely honoured to be at least half of Team Parents (yay!).
X
Showing posts with label sick. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sick. Show all posts

24 April 2018

He Lasted Half A Day...

With the Easter break over.
Boy10 and Miss7 were both back to school.
BabyBoy3 was heading back to nursery.
And Mrs. Amazing was back to work.
Everyone reacts to going back  post holidays in different ways...

BabyBoy3: 'Don't want to go! Stay home and play' <Cute stampy feet>
I hear you mate, and I don't blame ya... still nursery you gotta go
BabyBoy3: '’K' <Runs off>
Miss7? You ready yet?
Miss7: 'YES! Lets go! I can't wait! School-school lovely school!'
Mrs. Amazing you ready?
Mrs. Amazing: 'Adult conversations, hot drinks, toilet freedom... '
Mrs. Amazing: <Shudders with happiness> 'Bliss!'
Mrs. Amazing: 'I'm gonna go early! WORK!' <Punches the air>
Boy10? Where are you?
Boy10: 'I'm not going!'
Yes you are!
Boy10: 'No I'm not, I'm sick... My head hurts... That holiday didn't really take... please don't make me go back...' <Begs>
... <Sympathetically leans down close to him> You've got to...
Boy10: <Wipes away tear>
It's not me, it's the government and all the police people, you've got to go...
Boy10: 'I don't care if I go to jail!'
Really? There's no YouTube in prison...
[Super fast dressing from Boy10]
Boy10: 'Ready!'
Right! Let's go get this world! Run you fools!
[All run off into the sunrise]
[Credits roll, theme tune of Plantary [Go!] by My Chemical Romance plays]

(Boy10: ‘Where’d you get the hats from Dad?’
...Dressing up box…
Mrs. Amazing: ‘And the FIVE horses?’
Er… Sorry… Can’t hear you… <Rides off>)

Half a day BabyBoy3 lasted.
Poor little sausage. He had been fine in the morning.
Me and Miss7 and BabyBoy3 had headed out on scooters to nursery and dropped him off very happy.
He was a bit sad to say goodbye to Miss7 this morning. Knowing full well that she was off to school without him. And I was soon to leave for work. Leaving BabyBoy3 on his own at nursery.
Which may not sound too heavy. But after fourteen days in a row of all of us being there to play with BabyBoy3 every morning, it’s gonna be a shock to his little system. Fourteen days is still a fair chunk of his life.
OK fine. Not me being there to play all day. I still had to head off to work. I just guest starred every morning and evening .
But Miss7 and Boy10 (when not glued to the computer) were there with nothing to do but play...

Miss: 'Let's build a trap'
BabyBoy3: 'YES'
Miss7: 'We'll hang this on the door, balance this against the door as well'
BabyBoy3: <Gets teddies to blockage door with too>
Miss7: 'Shut all the doors so it's dark'
[It is now dark next to their trap]
[Flushing sound]
Miss7: 'Quick hide'
<Walks out of the toilet into the darkness, not really awake yet>
What? ARGHGGH! <Falls over, tangled in blankets, gets hit by pegs flying off blankets>
<Collapses in a heap>
Miss7 & BabyBoy3: <High five, then run>

I was home at lunch time.
To see BabyBoy3 as he only does a half day at nursery, and me Mum who looks after him for the afternoon.
I got the classic walking in the door shush. Followed by a point and me realising BabyBoy3 has crashed out on the sofa. We leave the room to chat.
Turns out BabyBoy3 didn't even want to scoot back, poor Mum had to carry the scooter. And guide a reluctant-to-walk BabyBoy3 home.
And then once home there was no demand for biscuits, or jigsaw puzzles, just BabyBoy3 lying down.
To sleep.

I didn't really think much of it to be honest.
Just thought his half day back had been very tiring. He's quite a run-about-and-shout-a-lot kind of boy. He plays hard.
So him grabbing a quick sleep didn't seem that bad.
But I checked his temperature and before I left he stirred enough to be given Calpol.
And again for some reason I didn't really think much of it.

I suppose.
It's because they are so big now. There are not babies, and BabyBoy3 acts grown up when he is with Boy10 and Miss7.
And they are both pretty sturdy now. Well Miss7 isn't she's very reminiscent of thin sticks to be honest. And Boy10 limbs seem to be borrowed from a spider.
But health wise they are strong and healthy. Colds come and go. I suppose I had just gotten used to how quick and well they recover.
Kind of forgot BabyBoy3 is only three.

Work plodged by (yes plodged).
And I headed home. Finding Boy10 on the computer as I come through the door. Miss7 watching cartoons and playing on a handheld computer at the same time.
Mrs. Amazing and BabyBoy3 strangely absent. In that I can neither see them nor hear them.
And it's the hearing them that is the most telling. If he's in the bath there is noise. Playing noise. Something.
But the house is eerily quiet.

Hugs and kisses to the big two.
And I head off to find Mrs. Amazing. Expecting to find BabyBoy3 hiding somewhere or playing in his room.
I find them both in Team Parent (yay!)'s bedroom. The curtains drawn.
Mrs. Amazing is reading a book. Children's cartoons are on the tele. And right in the middle of the bed, wrapped up like a little parcel is BabyBoy3.
Poorly. He'd been sick.

Mrs. Amazing shushes me.
I#d like to point out it's not as though I shout everywhere I go. Stomping about. But fair play BabyBoy3 is only barely asleep.
I sit next to them both and talk quietly to find out what has been going on.
It seems after I left for work. BabyBoy3 went down hill. Got hotter and hotter. Eventually got too hot and puked on the sofa downstairs. Lovely. Poor Mum.
Mrs. Amazing had returned from work and scooped him up in her arms. Dressed him in light weight jammies and here they had been since.
BabyBoy3 woke and turned his head to see me.
As despite my very quiet shushed voice, it's the first man's voice (mine) he has heard all day. True story.
His little face lights up and he smiles at me.

(How can someone so small hog so much of a double bed…)

Oh my heart.
There I was with loads in my head. Some work stuff still kicking about. Plans for the evening. Thoughts of what to have for dinner. I'm heading out to ninja training classes later and need to get ready, thoughts.
But it's like my head has slammed into a brick wall and everything else I was thinking about pops out of my ears.
[Pop]
Like that.
As I look at my little boy, all tiny and vulnerable and stuff. Still and quiet, which doesn't happen often. Laid in bed trying to watch cartoons but falling asleep a bit instead.
My heart reaches out to him and I just stop. I stop me moving. Stop all my thoughts and just lie down next to him.
I don't even go and make a cuppa.

A few minutes later.
Mrs. Amazing realises her relief is here and heads down to chivy the others into bed.
I don't move. I just lay next to BabyBoy3 and stroke his little head a bit.
Not as much as Mrs. Amazing would, I'm not that squishy. Instead I lay closer to him so we are touching a little bit. BabyBoy3 notices and wriggles himself closer to me.
I am really uncomfortable. My back is screaming at me. But hellfire! It's worth it. I am staying put.
BabyBoy3 moves his hand so it is in mine.
I become gushy water and splash everywhere like a bath being emptied from a building top. Emotionally I wasn't expecting this. I had been at work not long ago, where they're not so keen on people lying down and showing affection. The weirdos.
This is a shock to my system.

But for BabyBoy3.
His Dad has stopped and is now laid out on the bed with him. Keeping him company whilst he feels rubbish.
I am feeling a bit guilty because I am not doing the stuff I normally do.
But right now I really want to be with him so he knows everything is alright. And I am there.
BabyBoy3 rolls over and smiles at me.
Then he wriggles himself even closer to me. So that his forehead is touching mine. Personal space be damned.
And he finally falls asleep.

It's been a long time.
Since I've had one these amazing moments with my children. Where my heart feels like it might burst out of my chest. In a good way, loads of love, kinda way. We are always so busy doing stuff, having fun, rushing about. It's rare to just stop like this.
But for those twenty minutes before I've gotta go out. I stop my world for him, stop everything, and I just lay next to BabyBoy3 and give him all my attention whilst he sleeps.
And he lets me.

I notice his hands.
They’re hella tiny. They're still really very tiny still. His presence in my life is so big, so loud and all consuming. It forgot how little he is. He's only three.
There's things in the freezer older than he is.
Compared to me, BabyBoy3 is as fragile as a Miss7 LEGO creation. It's amazing he doesn't get sick more often, or break bits of himself every moment of the day. But he doesn't.
Somehow he seems to bounce off stuff he walks into. He picks himself up after every fall. Wipes off snot and tears in seconds and carries on.
Every illness burns through his little veins like fire, until it's gone, and he's back on his feet. Running about the place.
BabyBoy3 is incredible (they all are).

Team Parent (yay!)'s have a broken night.
First by a BabyBoy3 shouting for Mrs. Amazing that he wants water. Which I give him.
And second by BabyBoy3 shouting for me. As he's confused and has drunk all the water far too quickly and has been sick again. Mrs. Amazing take BabyBoy3 off to warm him and calm him. And I set up a small mattress next to our bed for him sleep on and he sleeps in with us.
And we all get through the night together.

(‘’Underbird 2 also doubles as something to nibble on...)

At 5am Mrs. Amazing wakes me.
For hand over. And I take a very happy, wide awake, and feeling better (yay!) BabyBoy3 downstairs to watch some cartoons. ''Underbirds Are Go’ his current favourite, which I like too. Until it's not stupid O'clock in the morning.
Illness gone. BabyBoy3 fixed. All breath again.
I stay at home with BabyBoy3 for the morning, whilst Mrs. Amazing works. Then we swap and it's a very tired me (really? Third person on your own blog?) that finally sits down at my desk for work.

WorkMate: 'Cup of tea?'
Four please...
WorkMate: 'Four what?'
Four cups of tea please...
WorkMate: <Questioning look>
I am going to shotgun the first two, enjoy the third, and then moan a bit that the forth one has gone cold...
WorkMate: 'Long night?'
Zzz
WorkMate: <Hangs a do not disturb sign on my head>
WorkMate: <Changes computer desktop to a picture of Justin Bieber to annoy me>

I know that when I am old and greyer.
When my life is coming to end, as it must despite all my plans. There will be many amazing memories to look back on.
Very near the top will be that memory of BabyBoy3 wriggling closer to me, to rest his forehead on mine, before he fell asleep.
That was pretty sweet.
<Itches eyes as they appear to be malfunctioning>
<Farts to enhance the mood>
<Has regrets>
X


30 January 2018

Man Down... (Part 2)...

So there I was surrounded by wolves.
Ten, maybe twenty, thousand of them. All armed with spoons. My arrow quiver had just replied to my question of how arrows were left with a rather rude, 'You're going to die fat boy'. Things looked bad.
It was then that I decided that I had had had enough...

Hang on! That's the wrong tale. Doh! <Slaps forehead>

You'll have to forgive me, never done one of these two-parters before....
I assume you've read the first part, ‘Man Down (Part 1)...’, so lets carry it on from there...
ROLL IT! (Always wanted to say that)...

So there I was.
Post puking. Feeling all kinds of yukky.
Miss6 seemed to be fine despite having had to watch her father be sick whilst trapped in the car. At least my back was turned. And it was dark. Poor love.
But otherwise everyone else in the house seemed fine, with no tummy bugs to be heard of.
Except for BabyBoy3.

(Oh! they look fun to play with! YAY! <Starts playing>
<Is very sick>)

Who was acting a bit crazy.
Just coz. Every now and then he would cough and everyone in Team Parent (yay!) would jump the moment his little cough seemed to sound even a teeny bit retchy. On tenterhooks we both were, expecting the worst.
Well mainly Mrs. Amazing. As I was slumped on the sofa looking sad and poorly.
Inside I was there with her, ready to clean up puke, and to look after poorly children.
But on the outside I was definitely sat on the sofa resting watching the madness.

The madness went like this.
BabyBoy3 running about the place, definitely on puke watch.
Miss6 tired out from roller skating and possibly traumatised from seeing her Dad have a food escape moment.
And Boy10 who had been out doing cool sports stuff with his peers. And as such had come back rosy cheeked, tired out, and full of so much sass I am surprised it wasn't pouring out of his ears.
Bedtime was gonna be fun!

Did you have a good time?
Boy10: 'Wouldn't you like to know!'
... Er.. Yes please!
<Is ignored>
Did you have fun with your mates?
Boy10: 'Oh you'd like that wouldn't you?' <Tuts>
Yes... that's why we send you there... to have fun... <Is confused>
<Is meanly ignored>
OK then mate <Breathes>... Awesome though these chats are, it's bedtime!
Boy10: <Explodes in a ball of fury and flames>
... righhhhhhht...
<Runs>

Obv. bedtime wasn't fun.
Poor Mrs. Amazing was utterly abandoned by everyone else in Team Parents (yay!). As with a stomach bug I cannot touch anyone, or anything that anyone else uses. Everything I touch needs to be cleaned.
Which may seem extreme but one child sick in the house is a huge nightmare.
Two is (which has happened) is horrid and puts a huge strain on us and the washing machine.
And well three children being sick at the same time is something to be avoided at all costs.
ALL COSTS. <Gives you a stern look>

So I was sidelined.
I could direct. Give verbal clues. But really I was feeling crapo and wasn't thinkingning goodly muchness. And definitely no touchy.
So really any help I could give was pants. Hence I was sidelined and left to catch up on MasterChef from three months ago whilst Mrs. Amazing tried to put the terrible three to bed solo. (That's Han, not Ben).

(No touchy! Unless you’re a Llama… in which case enchanté...)

Poor Mrs. Amazing.
They did not behave very well at all. BabyBoy3 spent thirty minutes getting out of bed and running about upstairs having a great laugh.
Miss6 kept appearing at the top of the stairs complaining of: too much darkness, not enough darkness, being too hot, being cold, saw a spider, a gnat, Boy10 woke her up, this bit of her lip hurts, that knee doesn’t like the other one. And my favourite she was tired. <Gives you a look>
Boy10 seemed to be trying to make as much noise as possible, due to his high levels of sass and excited energy. Thus potentially waking Miss6 and BabyBoy3 (who weren't sleeping anyway), with everything he did...

Up the stairs: THUD THUD THUD
Putting on jammies: THUD, CRASH, THUD THUD
Brushing teeth: BZZZZZZ (electric toothbrush), THUD THUD, CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK (light switch), LOUD SINGING
Response to being told to be quiet: THUD THUD THUD, mildly quieter but still very much LOUD SINGING
Impromptu Trombone practice: WAH WAH Wahhh wahhhhhhh...
Response to being told to go to bed: THUDY-THUDY-THUD-THUD (skipping), lots of Nerf-rifle cocking sounds

Two hours later.
Mrs. Amazing finally sat down on the sofa next to me. Not close as I have lurgi (which is a word Spike Milligan and Eric Sykes made up! For reals, check it here).
I ask how bedtime went (yes I'm brave).
Mrs. Amazing said she was going onto Instagram and was going to be some time.
Fair play.

For four days I rested and recovered.
Unable to eat at all. Except for some cheese on toast, a packet of mini Cheddars, some bacon flavour crisps, and many peanut butter sandwiches. Not even my favourite life-sustaining nectar of the gods, a cup of tea, was sitting very well in my stomach. <Weeps>
And my love, my darling, my best friend, my chocolate cupboard had to part ways...

I'll always love you! <Strokes cupboard>
No don't be like that, it's not my fault! I have to, you see that don't you?
I have to!!! <Breaks down in tears, banging fists on cupboard>
Boy10: <Walks into kitchen sees me talking to cupboard>
Boy10: <Turns around instantly and runs>

If I was looking for a post Xmas crash diet.
My dreams were being answered. Weight was leaving me rapidly as I wasn't eating much.
I even got something that all parents crave for. Peace and quiet and time to do stuff. Albeit in bed.
True I felt like hurling during most of it. But I read a book. Two actually. I researched holidays on my phone. I got to do all those things I normally can't find time to cram in.
So from one point of view, this tummy bug was a blessing in disguise.
A much needed rest for me and some me-time for me, me.

But there was more.
Nope not puke. Although there was a repeat performance of that, as I brushed my teeth. The mint set me off again. yay.
No. The worst part of being sick was that first night.

Mrs. Amazing had decided to sleep downstairs.
Away from Captain Chunder (me). Fair enough. I could sleep star shaped, more so. And she wouldn't catch anything. Plus if all of Team Parent (yay1) were sick… then what would happen? Bedsheeplam.
The plan was that when BabyBoy3 or Miss6 woke up during the night. I could just calmly tell them where Mrs. Amazing was, and they would go find her for cuddles and general putting back to bed. I Obv. couldn't put them back to bed, as I had the pox. No touchy.
The plan worked fine with Miss6. Who turned on heels a bit quicker than I would have liked to be honest.
Off she went.

BabyBoy3 on the other hand.
Wasn't having any of it.
You ever seen one of those films where a character befriends a wild animal and then takes it back to wild, only to have the animal refuse to be free. With character now shouting, maybe throw sticks and stones, saying ‘get’ a lot.
Yeah? Well this was exactly the same.
But Obv. without the shouting, sticks and stones, and saying get.
I'm not a monster (except in 90% of all chase games with Miss6 and BabyBoy3).

BabyBoy3 appeared in Team Parent (yay!)'s bedroom at midnight.
And stood at the end of the bed. I reminded him that I was sick and cannot put him back to bed. But no worries, Mrs. Amazing is downstairs, go find her.
BabyBoy3 didn't move.
I repeat what I said slowly and clearer. BabyBoy3 simply replies with one word. Hug.
He's got his teddy bear in his arms, and cute factor wise, out of ten, he's probably rocking a fifty.
I say again I am sick and I can't put him back to bed. And I'm sorry, I really am.
My insides are being torn apart as for the entirety of BabyBoy3's life I have just grabbed him, picked him up, and hugged him. Whenever he asks. Whenever I walk by. Whenever. Without even a thought.
I love my little scrummy boy (and the others Obv.).

But tonight.
For the first time. I am having to turn my little dude away. No hugs from Daddy.
BabyBoy3 is not making it easier either. As he flops face down on the bed at my feet.
I tell him once more I cannot hug or basically touch him in anyway. Which does sound a bit over the top (O.T.T.) but you remember the puke fest that can happen if he gets my bug?
Not O.T.T. Dead right behaviour.
The only problem is that BabyBoy3 does not understand, and worse/better doesn't want to understand.
And it's br-br-br-breaking my heart Anakin.

(It may not look too much like me... but I don’t often wear my hair like that… No hair.)

I start to sell Mrs. Amazing to BabyBoy3.
Essentially I start convincing BabyBoy3 that if he goes to find Mrs. Amazing he will get such a big hug he'd be a fool not to. I am literally pushing him out of my arms into his mothers.
BabyBoy3 is not going for it, and I realise he thinks Mrs. Amazing is in bed next to me. Like normal. Doh! Why would he think otherwise?
I pull down the duvet and show him Mrs. Amazing is definitely not there.

BabyBoy3 looks at me.
Then looks at the open bed where Mrs. Amazing is not.
I am watching his little face, hoping he has finally understood. He turns.
And off he trots.
Right around the bed. And straight into Mrs. Amazing's spot.
Again, I say, doh.

Eventually I get BabyBoy3 out of my bed.
With minimal touching. And guide him towards Mrs. Amazing. Who clearly had heard me, as she suddenly appears to take over and BabyBoy3 is put back to bed by someone not full of germs.
I bundle back to bed, stomach loop the looping, and quickly crash out again.
But before sleep embraced me once more, it's then. Not during the puking, not during the after shock, nor finally being sodding bored of doing nothing after three and a bit days.
It's then, just after having pushed away my little BabyBoy3 away, when he couldn't understand why, it’s then that I feel really bad.
<Sad face>
X

P.S. I hugged the crap out of him once I was better.
X