Hi! <Waves>

Funny and honest tales from a made-to-work Dad of three, wobbling, graying, and laughing his way through parenthood. Armed to the teeth with Nerf guns, full of pie, fighting a chocolate addiction, but genuinely honoured to be at least half of Team Parents (yay!).
X
Showing posts with label hugs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hugs. Show all posts

5 September 2017

Her and His First Day Back...

Summer holidays done.
And they have had a lovely time (the teachers children).
I've mostly been working. But I took a few days off to play, which was brilliant fun.
But as the UK crapy-crap weather has moved in once more.
It must be time to go back to school.

BabyBoy3 was not keen.
He's going back to nursery. He was not keen the night before when we broke the news.
Every time we told him he...

BabyBoy3: 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!'
Go on! It’ll be fun!
BabyBoy3: 'Not nursery! I don't WANT TO GO!!!!'
BabyBoy3: <Runs and hides badly>

(Me when younger...  and hand drawn...)

Mrs. Amazing had a word with him.
Explained that Miss6 and Boy10 were going back to school as well. So there wouldn't be anyone to play with at home. Which he loved. He really loved having his brother and sister at home to play with.
And what we told him was only a tiny lie. As Boy10 isn't starting school until a day after, but BabyBoy3 doesn't need to know that.
And Boy10 needs to stop pointing out that his isn't going back for another day, as it's totes not helping. <Does frowny face>
Still BabyBoy3 seemed in good spirits when I finally fell out of bed this morning...

Urghhhh... Morning...
What time is it? <Is blinking a lot> <Scratches tummy in a Dad way>
Mrs. Amazing: 'Four in the afternoon...'
WHAT! SHIII...
Mrs. Amazing: 'Only joking! It's half seven. You've thirty minutes before you and BabyBoy3 need to leave'
<Downs cuppa whilst making another>
Right...

And so the logistical problems of three children start.
Three children. Two parents. Three different destinations.
Wish us luck.

The plan is simple.
I'll run / scoot BabyBoy3 to nursery. Then walk run as fast as I can back.
So Mrs. Amazing can then drive Boy10 over to grannies.
Then when Mrs. Amazing gets back. Team Parent (yay!) in all there glory. Will walk Miss6 to school on her first day back.
Bonza.

BabyBoy3 is on the edge.
I can tell straight away. Which means getting him into his nursery uniform (yes we have those in the UK, it's awesome paying for them too) is going to go one of two ways.
Either a pitched bloody battle. With both of us in tears at the end. Me nursing my battered man parts from waywards kicks. BabyBoy3 in tears trying, but failing, to rip his nursery jumper off his head. Trousers already off and bare bum wiggling about.
Or...
And this is the option I really want to go with. I have lots of fun and giggling and chasing BabyBoy3 about the house.
Which seems the obvious choice. But it will come with a cost.
If every time I need him to get dressed I have to chase him about the house. That will get old pretty quickly for everyone. It cannot be the norm.
As getting up at 4am just to get him dressed does not appeal.
So whilst the running and chasing is really fun.
It needs to be a one off.

And this is that one off (yay!).
I rugby tackle him onto my bed. He's already gigging. And whilst he scrambles away, I get his pyjama bottoms and pants (underpants) off.
I watch a naked little bottom run out of my room to hide.
BabyBoy3 knows the rules of this game.
For every finding and wrestling at least one piece of clothing is removed or put on.
There has to be progress.

I find him in Boy10's room.
Hidden under the duvet. Giggling.
Boy10 is guarding BabyBoy3 and starts hitting me with a pillow...

Stop that!
Boy10: 'No!' <Hitty hit hit>
Don't you have to get ready or something?
Boy10: 'I am ready!' <Hitty hit hit, HIT HIT>
I will shove this pillow up your bum if you do that again Can you stop please? <Looks tired and a bit knackered>

I get a few moments not being hit with a pillow.
To ferret BabyBoy3 out of the duvet and manage to shove some nursery shorts on him. Lots of giggling
<Is hit by pillow a lot>
Do you want to make it to eleven? Dude! Dude! Stop...
<Just runs>
Boy10: 'Champion!!!' <Does victory dance>

I then lose BabyBoy3 for a bit.
And whilst I am hunting him upstairs. Boy10 and BabyBoy3 sneak downstairs to watch some tele. BabyBoy3 only half dressed.
I find them both zoned into the tele watching Toy Story 3. Which you would think was OK.
… (You would... <tuts>)
Except Toys 3 has a scene in it where the toys are slowing being drag into a blazing inferno of flames and are clearly going to die. Boy10 is fine with it. BabyBoy3 maybe not so much.
And considering Miss6's reaction yesterday to the exact same scene (tears, and needed a good long hugging). Toy Story 3 is turned off.
Boy10 can't understand what the problem is...

Boy10: 'It's TOY STORY of course it's fine for BabyBoy3'
Off it goes somethemore nonetheless...

(BabyBoy3: ‘Dad? What’s happening’
<Is not looking> I DON’T KNOW!!! Boy10 what is happening, are they safe yet?
Boy10: ‘Yeah they’re safe now…’
<Looks out from behind BabyBoy3> ARHGH NO THEY’RE NOT!
THEY’RE HOLDING HANDS!
Boy10: <Chuckles>


BabyBoy3 is fine.
Not sure he understood what he was watching. And I seize my moment.
Whilst he is sat on the sofa wondering what will come on tele next.
I leap on him and the pyjama top is off, nursery vest is on.
And done. Dressed for nursery.
<Wipes brow>

And then we are off.
Me jogging beside BabyBoy3. Who has a new trick on his scooter. He surfs (has both feet on at once). I am impressed. And we have a lovely scoot.
We meet the lovely nursery lady the door and all is fine.
Until suddenly BabyBoy3 realises what is going on. And he suddenly looks lost.
And alone.

I almost rip BabyBoy3 out of her arms.
And take him home again. But I don't. You know. Work and stuff.
<Sighs>
I wave his little confused 'I wanna stay with you' face goodbye. The nursery lady senses tears are on the way and whisks him out of sight.
<Deep little heart being torn sigh>
My little dude... <Weeps on the inside>
(Don't worry, I saw him at lunch, he was fine and had great fun at nursery).
(I was also fine after a while).

Then I walk leg it back home for Miss6.
Miss6 scoots in. Team Parent (yay!) walk beside her.
It's very fun and jolly until we get to her new playground.
Each year in her school has their own area. There is only one playground at the front of the school and that is for the eldest children in the school.
Which Miss6 now is.
As we walk in. I nearly stumble and fall over. As my brain suddenly realised she was now in the final year at this school. I am not ready for her to grown up.
For a brief most the rest of my body forgot what the hell it was doing. I do a quick step, stutter, and recover.
But it’s OK. No one noticed.
Phew. Don't want a Dad to be showing emotion.  No no. That would never do.
Stupid society. <Grumbles>

Miss6 has written little notes for her best friends.
Which they are delighted with and they are soon off playing. Nattering away.
The parents all hang about outside the new classroom. Peering in every now and then, being nosy. Me too.
It's really nice to see everyone. And soon the parents are nattering as much as the children. Telling their summer holiday stories. With less running about.
And then without warning Miss6's classroom door opens…

Miss6: 'Daddy my stuff! Quickly!’

Miss6 is first in line.
She can be first into the new classroom. And she really wants that.
I am holding her P.E. kit, her book bag, and water bottle.
Suddenly under huge pressure I feel like I am playing sport again. And the ball has come to me. And I need to pass it on very quickly. Without fumbling it. OH NO!
OH BACON THE PRESSURE!

I do manage to pass three items to Miss6 without messing it right up.
Without problem. PHEWY. And Miss6 races into her new classroom.
Sits down on the floor where she was told to sit.
And she's gone...

Mrs. Amazing and I exchange looks.
That all happened a bit quickly. There's no way we can go into the classroom now. The teacher is wisely, and rightly, guarding the door.
And Miss6 is fine. Happy to be back at school.
Excited to be back. Clearly.

Good we suppose.
Still... A few goodbye hugs and kisses would have been nice.
At least a wave would have been nice…

<Doesn't weep, is right hard about it until later>
Miss6: <Waves to us both>
<Team Parent wave back, grateful for the wave>

Team Parent (yay!) head off to our resective workplaces.
Emotionally worn out for the day, already.
Still wanting a hug.
X

(I can see the future in this… Poor Boy10...)



12 October 2016

Can You Hug Me So My Friends Can't See?

No.
Sorry Boy9. But I am going to be that Dad. A huggy Dad.
A Dad that wants a hug goodbye every single time we part.
FOREVER!!! <Does one arm out dramatic pose> <Cackles>

Unless I'm chanked at him.
Then there may not be hugs. I see no point in pretending for a hug. Fake hugs are bad.
Sometimes you may get a friendly tap on the arm. A hair ruffle which you hate. A high five. Maybe even a 'fun' full-blown rugby tackle to the floor.
But most of the time you're getting a hug.

(Does your school often flood like this?
Boy9: ‘Only from August to May…’)

It was my third drop off with Boy9 this term.
We were sat in the car rocking out. When he indicated he had something say...

[Blaring music]
Boy9: 'DAD!'
<Is singing too loudly to hear>
Boy9: 'DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!'
WHAT? <Head banging still going>
Boy9: 'CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?'
MID SOLO? ... HANG ON... LET THE STORM RAGE ONNNNNNNN!!!
YEAH?
Boy9: 'DAD CAN YOU...'
<Turns music down>
Boy9: '... TURN THE MUSIC DOWN...'
Dude! Why you shouting? … I'm right here...
Boy9: 'Can I ask you something?'
Yes, sure.
<Mutters> The cold never bothered me anyway...

He wanted to ask me something.
He wanted to ask me if I could hug him so his friends couldn't see.

Boy9: 'Can you hug me so my friends can't see?'

See. Just like that.
Boy9 was asking me if he could receive his morning hug at school, so his friends couldn't see.
WHAT? WHY? WHY??? Doesn't my love mean nothing to you? The years of care...
I wasn't surprised.

(Hair wise this inaccurate… Otherwise spot on...)

This was drop off number three with me this term.
Drop off two Boy9 had ducked off without much of a hug.
And drop off one? Well I hugged in front of all his mates. Obv.
This had been building in Boy9's head for a few days.
I recognised this. Thank Bacon.
And so was able to talk him about it in a mature, grown up, manner.
Not in a defensive and hurt, used, cast aside, unappreciated like only a father knows, <Bottom lip wobbles>, way I may have felt about it.
<Weeps>

Nope.
Instead I had a bit of a think about it. Took my time.
<Turns music back up> ... YOU WANNA BUILD A SNOWMAAN?

It felt like an important moment.
A moment that would change things forever between me and Boy9. A defining moment.
I felt that if I said the wrong thing now, there would be no recovery options.
I could have just said 'Sure, no hugs, whatever!'. And that would be it.
We would both continue on in our lives. Physical contact slowly fading and dwindling.
Until finally the most we can muster is a quick handshake, at Christmas, with both of us having to wash our hands afterwards.
The British way.
But. I wasn't keen on that. I'm at my most drunk huggy at Christmas time.

So I didn't answer.
I thoughted instead. There was no way I would be endorsing no-hug-Dad.
And I knew that telling Boy9 he had to, by Dad rule, hug me, would go down badly.
So I very carefully asked him more about it...

(Boy9: ‘Er… Dad... The steering wheel!’
<Sounds of horns>)

<Turns down music>
Why do you want to hurt me?
Why does it matter if I hug you?
Boy9: 'It's embarrassing...'
Duuuude... You better get used to that <Gestures to self>
To you? Or did someone else say something?
Boy9:' Someone said 'Is that your Dad you were hugging'?'
NAME THEM. They are done...
Oh.
<Turns back up music>

I did more thinking before speaking.
(Which frankly is something I should do in more facets of my life) (Yes facets, I have them...).

<Pauses music as this song rocks>
Why does it matter what others think about you and me hugging?
Do you think they are definately maybe jealous. Maybe no one hugs them?
Shall I hug them too? ALL OF THEM?
Boy9: 'S'pose'
<Resists urge to correct pronunciation>
You could just say 'Yeah. My Dad loves me, what of it scrud smeg alternative face?
Boy9: 'Huh' <Is thoughtful>
<Unpauses music>
<Both singalong heartily>

I think I did well then.
I gave Boy9 something to think about at least.
I really hate it when Boy9 bends to the norm because of his friends.
I am unsure why it irritates me so much. I know he just wants to fit in. That's totally normal.
And if he had said HE didn't want a hug. Then I like to think I would have honoured his wish. No chance.
But to stop hugging my son because of some little smegger teasing him.
No. That doesn't feel right at all.

And yeah Boy9 is growing up.
I can't seem to stop him. But why does that mean he needs to stop hugging his Dad?
It doesn't. Growing up does not mean you have to stop hugging your parents.
I s'pose it could mean it might need to change <Kicks stone> as he grows <Chips paint work on car> <Runs Stays and leaves insurance details>
But it definitely isn't something that has to happen.
Stupid un-huggy society norms and millennias of history.

When we got near Boy9's classroom.
He stopped early. Before we got into view of his mates and asked for his hug there and then.
I am guessing so his mates didn't see.
His eyes screamed a million words and feeling at me. I am not sure what they said.
I think he was offering me, yeah me, a compromise.
Boy9 was comfortable with a hug here and now. Not in front of his mates.
And Boy9’s face was screaming please Dad, accept it.

I couldn't refuse.
Tears streaming from my eyes Like the grown up man that I am I hugged the crap out of him.
There and then. Out of view of his mates.
Boy9 isn't comfortable with it and I should respect his wishes.
I'll still going to continue teaching him not to be a sheep.
And I am going to slowly convince him that a Dad hug is a brilliant thing. And nothing to be embarrassed about.
Which is plan A.

Plan B?
Plan B is to develop a handshake (that is sneakily a hug) so rocking, so awesome that he pleads with me to do it in front of his mates.
It could happen. <Knows it won't>
Then I won't miss my hug...

Right. You think you got it?
Boy9: 'Yeah Dad. This is going to be the best handshake ever!'
HELLS YEAH! Right go!
I go high. You low. Now duck LEFT
Boy9: <Ducks left>
Duck RIGHT
Boy9: <Ducks right>
Bear attack!
<We hug>
<Me smugly>
NOW the finale... Duck MIDDLE, NO LEFT!
Boy9: <There is 'contact'>
<Looks down at Boy9> Sorry dude...
Boy9: <No response>
...
<Runs>
<Miss5 appears and lays a blanket over Boy9's foot>

X