Hi! <Waves>

Funny and honest tales from a made-to-work Dad of three, wobbling, graying, and laughing his way through parenthood. Armed to the teeth with Nerf guns, full of pie, fighting a chocolate addiction, but genuinely honoured to be at least half of Team Parents (yay!).
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Showing posts with label Boy11. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Boy11. Show all posts

13 September 2018

Twas the Night Before Secondary School...

It twas the night before Boy11 started Secondary school.
And all through the house, not a creature was stirring.
Not one of the terrors children, were out of bed.
They were all asleep.
Amazing.

I had been to Ninja training class.
Which is my weekly nod to being healthy. It kinda of works.
I do tend to come home super proud of myself. And then eat thousands of crisps. And chocolate. And cheese. And chocolate. Thus undoing all my good and exhausting work.
Normally my class is an hour and a half of pain. But fearing that it may harder to get Boy11 to sleep than Mrs. Amazing me on Xmas eve.
I came home early from class.

(Mrs. Amazing: ‘What you having for tea?’
<Whispers> Chocolate <Normal voice> salad!
Mrs. Amazing: ‘I heard that!’
<Runs Waddles>)

Mrs. Amazing: 'You're back early!' <Pushes all the chocolate wrappers off the table>
Yeah... I'm shattered. I think my knees hate me now.
Mrs. Amazing: 'Hard class?'
Yeah.... <Pulls self in using only lips>
<From floor> How was Boy11 getting to sleep tonight?
Mrs. Amazing: 'Fine'
That bad huh? Well it's no surp.... HANG ON? What did you say?
Mrs. Amazing: 'Fine!'
<Is shocked>

I was shocked.
Normally anything exciting happening and Boy11 struggles to sleep. Which is totes fair enough. Excitement affects us all in different ways. Some talk incessantly about it <Looks at Miss7>, some go all quiet and just want to be busy (me), some jump on furniture and shout in joy <Looks at BabyBoy4>, and some like winding everyone up by making weird noises, bugging siblings, and refusing to sleep <Looks at Boy11>.
I was happy for Mrs. Amazing and the calm bedtime she had had haddy had had. But a little puzzled why she was looking quite so eye-twitchy, I asked how the others were.
BabyBoy4 was fine. Yay!
Miss7 however...
Mrs. Amazing: <Mimes throttling>

And therein lies the rub of parenting with more than one child.
When the one behaves. The others seem to take it as a personal challenge to hold up the parental-irritation levels for the kids team. yay-love them.
However there was a reason. It had been Miss7's first day at her Junior school. She was pretty wired.
I'm not sure why, but I feel Miss7 has not got the attention she should have got for her first day. Don't get me wrong, Team Parent (yay!) were there in full force. All both of us (and BabyBoy4) dropped her off at the school in the morning.
It's just that it was overshadowed by Boy11's huge school change from Primary to Secondary. Miss7, in comparison, was just going from Infant to Junior.
And what can you say about that. Poor middle child.
<Feels her pain>

(<Dyes hair purple>
<Is called into a meeting at work>
<Is told hair is awesome>)

I am still amazed about Boy11.
So much was changing for him. New bag, new uniform, new school, new teachers, new kids at school, he got a COMPASS!
And there he was fast asleep. At a reasonable time. A-maze-bloody-ing.
Obvs. being the Boy11 that he is, he had packed and unpacked his rucksack a few times that night, and most nights that week. Which is fine. He was well prepared.
We had also practised his walk in, so he knew where he was going and stuff. We timed it.
How he was actually going in wasn't fully decided until that morning. Either a lift with Mrs. Amazing, or walk with mates. Boy11 choose a lift.
I wasn't there when this decision was made. But I am pretty sure that had Mrs. Amazing been free to express her feelings about his decision. Mrs. Amazing would have been cartwheeling and back-flipping around the house letting of fireworks.
I suspect she was happy to be involved.

I was not (involved).
My path and destiny that day lay elsewhere, I was starting my journey to the windy mountains.
Miss7 had her second day at Junior school and BabyBoy4 needed to be looked after.
As he didn't start school until the day after (oh flipping yes, what a week).
So me and Miss7 and BabyBoy4 waved Boy11 goodbye calmly and cooly to Boy11.
Oh who am I kidding. I hugged the crap out of Boy11.
As Boy11 climbed into the car. The excitement got to me. So I started to poke him, friendly style. Slapping his cheeks softly, friendly like. Basically using his little body as a drum. Boy11 laughed a lot. And it really eased my nerves. So that was good.
Not sure how healthy that is really.
But then I also think that is how boys communicate sometimes...

Yo bruv! <Gives bruv dead arm>
Bruv1: 'Yo back' <Punches me back>
You good? <Gives knee strike dead leg>
Bruv1: 'Yeah mate! Really good' <Thwacks me over the head>
Sorry can't stop <Flicks bruvs ear as leaving>
Bruv1: 'No worries, see ya soon <Leg sweeps me, missing, pretends to be stretching>
<Both leave and out of sight of each other, rub all injured parts>


(Didn't hurt! <Is lying>
Tis but a scratch)

Then with Boy11 gone.
Me and Miss7 and BabyBoy4 headed off. Fifteen minutes walk, BabyBoy4 on scooter, and I had left plenty of time. +10 Dad points.
Obvs. despite doing the walk the day before. We go the wrong way.
Miss7 insists the turning we want is the next. I swear it isn't and BabyBoy4 sides with Miss7.
Democratically out-voted we pass the turning I am sure is right: a) because I remember it from yesterday, and b) because lots of people with matching school uniform to Miss7 are heading that way.
We walk on to the next turning and it's a dead end.
I say nothing and graciously walk on totally not rubbing it in Miss7's face.
#GrownRightUp.

Me and BabyBoy4 drop off Miss7.
Who is fine. Probably a bit tired. But that what happens when you are a terror going to bed.
I imagine tonight will be better as she has lost her tele access tonight. And Miss7 hates that.
A normal and reasonable bedtime is highly expected for Miss7 tonight (it was <Team Parent (yay!) high five>).
And as me and BabyBoy4 walk / scoot away from the school. I notice I have enough time to get to work. And I am feeling good. Proud of me.
Emotionally, this morning, and the previous one, have been hard going. But I've kept my dignity and at no point have I been a howling weeping father fool. #Winning.

A few minutes up the road.
Mrs. Amazing comes into view. Which is a bit surprising, but she quickly explains nothing is wrong. Just fancied joining us. Lovely.
Then another Mum joins our little group, and there's a lot of excited adult chatting going on.
And I am engaged and enjoying a natter, watching BabyBoy4 near the roads, and chatting on and off with him about mad stuff. Hearing about Boy11 and how he met up with at least eight mates before going in.
And he was fine and happy. Which is a relief.
And all is good with the world. Team Parent seem to have nailed it, and nothing has gone wrong.
Then somethings makes my foot slips a little on the floor.

I look down.
Dog smegging poo. On my shoes. BabyBoy4 missed it. I had not.
<LOTS OF SWEARY WORDS ABOUT DOG OWNERS THAT DON'T CLEAN UP AFTER THEIR DOGS, ESPECIALLY NEAR SCHOOLS>
I try cleaning it off on grass. Obvs. grass is not really clearing it off. The wrong sort of trainer grips. I think BR made the trainers or something.
The thought of being able to smell poo on my trainers all day at work doesn't really appeal.
So I leg it back home, change shoes. And am late to work.
Finally I sit down at my desk and look at my screen.
And wonder how on earth, considering all that happened this morning, all the emotions and stuff that had been flying through, how in the name of Bacon sandwiches, was I supposed to concentrate on work all day.
<Watches clock until home time to hear about Boy11's day>
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3 September 2018

Everybody (the Kids) Change...

What a summer we had.
It's been awesome. The UK sun has been out in force and we have made the most of it.
I obviously have found it far too hot at times, and as always have been pining for my coat and long trousers. Stupid shorts with their rubbish pockets.
The three terrors have had plenty of outside adventures and fun. During which I have utterly butterly broken my knees playing with them, and keeping up with them. #WorthIt
And despite what they might say, they have all really bonded over the past six weeks...

(BabyBoy4? How’s your summer been?
BabyBoy4: <Gives one thumb up>
<Is chuffed> That’s high praise!)

I'll be back in twenty seconds, keep eating and behave...
<Runs>
Miss7: 'Boy11 is looking at me!'
Boy11: 'I am not' <Is looking at Miss7>
BabyBoy4: <Punches with teeny fists Boy11>
Boy11: 'OW! Take that'
BabyBoy4: 'WAHHHH!'
Miss7: 'STOP LOOKING AT ME' <Screams and knocks her plate off the table>
Boy11: <Steals Miss7's crisps>
WTAF? I've only been gone fifteen seconds!
<Picks up BabyBoy4>
<Glares at Boy11>
<Moves Miss7 into my seat and gives her my food>
<Frowns at them all>
<Creaks a lot as sits>

But the summer holidays are now done.
No more lazy days in the sun building camps from sheets.
No more movie marathons in the mornings and no one getting dressed at all.
No more just playing. At least until next summer holidays that is.
No, now it's all change.
Everyone is changing schools and there's a fair bit of concern, anxiety and excitement going on. New drop off times and places.
And smeg load of new uniforms, stationary, no books weirdly, we’ve had to buy. Sigh.
Each child is dealing with the changes it in their own way.

Boy11
He's got the biggest change of all. From Primary to Secondary school.
Boy11 is going from being one of the oldest in the school to the youngest. Which should be a shock.
If I cast my mind back the few millennia to when I did that, I remember being shocked by it all. The older boys were huge, basically giants, and everything was so big. Even the chairs are suddenly adult sized.
I remember there being so many people all the people so many people. I had come from a tiny village Primary school, straight into an enormouse secondary school. I doubt I had ever seen so many children at one time before.
My first week of school I remember being very confusing as a lot of information was thrown at me, and I got lost a lot. My timetable I recall was super important to me at the time.
It was the only piece of information that was mine that I understood.
But I do recall that first week being pretty fun too. Being allowed to use flames in the science labs, cooking in a oven, being allowed to use the power tools in CDT. All pretty damn cool stuff. They let throw javelins! BONZA!
And that is what I have been filling Boy11's head with - the cool stuff that school is about to let him do.
Of course I shan't mention that in my first week of school I was set upon by a load of fifth years and was handcuffed to the goal posts on the field.
There's no need for him to know that. (I got out very quickly and conversely made a fifth year friend from it, who smuggled chocolate out of the fifth years canteen for me which was cool. Funny how things turn out).
Plus times have changed. I think. I am sure that nothing like happens any more.
The main message I've been giving to Boy11 is how cool it is going to be, and to make the most of everything they are going to offer him.
I feel I didn't make the most of secondary school when I was there. If I can help steer him away from my mistake, I will.
It might work.

Miss7
She's got the simplest of moves. As Miss7 is just changing one school for another, from Infant to Junior. All her mates will be with her. It's just a different building and new teachers.
She’s still got worries though, poor sausage. It just the change, the unknown.
It’s easy to forget what a worry that can be to children. I know because I totally forgot and it was Mrs. Amazing that reminded me.
Luckily Miss7 loves school and will be delighted to be back again. She has been working through the workbooks we give with desire and a genuine joy of learning. Bless her.
Long may that reign.

I still get to drop her off for school a few mornings a week.
Me and BabyBoy4 will see her to school first, before then doubling back for BabyBoy4's drop off. I am looking forward to the drop offs again. Yes really.
To be honest at the end of term when the drop offs stopped. I was hella glad.
I needed a break from them.
But after a weeks of just working and not taking anyone to school and stuff. Well I started missing them. It's gonna be fun!
Maybe…

WHY IS NO ONE DRESSED? WE’RE FIVE MINUTES TO GET THERE!
<Is attacked by naked children, giggling>
<Everyone is late>

BabyBoy4
In some ways he's got the biggest change ever. He's going from Nursery to Primary.
From not at school. To at school. Ooooo.
BabyBoy4 is really excited and I think it's because it's not the unknown for him, he’s going to Miss7’s previous school. It finally his time to go to school, just like Boy11 and Miss7 have been doing for years. I'm pretty sure he's just gonna be glad to be part of the 'School' gang. (Obvs. that joy may only last a day).
Team Parent are pretty sure he's ready. Can get dressed. Can use toilet. Can recognise on name. Can be trusted to only jam one nostral with pasta.
Because in the last six months he's suddenly grown up loads. Any lingering babiness has gone. <Howls>
Well except for when he wants to use it to get what he wants, obvs.
He's no fool...

Dude. Sit in the middle of your seat, or you'll fall off?
BabyBoy4: <Shakes head>
Well you've been warn...
BabyBoy4: <THUD> 'WAHHHHHHH'
What did I tell you fool <Scoops him up in my arms and kisses his tiny little bopped head>

And me?
BrainZilla: 'You talking to yourself again?'
Shhhhh <Punches self in head>
BrainZilla: 'Shall do'
Well I am looking forward to making new friends in the playground when I drop off BabyBoy4 for school. Bit worried I'm gonna get lost and take the wrong child to the wrong school.
Probably gonna forgot everything they need four million times in the first week. If I'm concentrating.
Hope work doesn't give me detention for being late.

(But it wasn’t my fault I’m late…
I had to drink all the wine last night…)

I am sure we’ll all be fine.
My thoughts are mostly going to be with Boy11 as he starts this whole new chapter. He is going to need the most support as school switches from learning with fun, to learning a lot.
But I'll be keeping an eye on BabyBoy4 and how he's doing, and whether he's happy in school. And Miss7 obvs.
Something tells me I'm going to be doing a lot listening when I get home each day.
I can't wait!
Good luck terrors. Team Parent (yay!) are right behind you!
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Epilogue:
So is Boy11 old enough to look after the others yet?
Mrs. Amazing: 'Not really'
I was just thinking... If we left him with the others... we could... <Winks suggestively>
Mrs. Amazing: 'Wouldn't they hear us?'
What? From the pub? No <Is confused>
Mrs. Amazing: 'Oh right, and no we can't do that'
Shame...
... <Brain is working>...
HANG ON! What were you thinking we could do?
Mrs. Amazing: <Runs>


20 July 2018

Boy11's Last Drop Off...

I'm feeling nostalgic.
There's a lot going on at the moment.
Lots of things ending, lots of things we are now doing for the last time.
People to say goodbye to, and buildings we are never gonna visit again...

Boy11: 'What we doing here Dad?'
This place, 'Burger Off', is shutting down and I wanted to get a last burger...
or two... <Does shifty eyes>
BurgerOffDude: 'What'll it be lads?'
Eighteen burgers with all the trimming please!
Boy11: 'Or two?' <Gives me a look>
Oh shush...
[We wait whilst they cook]
Boy11: 'So why are you shutting down?'
BurgerOffDude: 'What? We're not shutting down! We'll be here forever!'
Boy11: <Gives me a look of surprise>
Oh don't look so surprised...
<Takes burgers and runs>
<Is found in burger comma, it's not a pretty sight>

(... Yes that’ll do for the boy…
Now have you got anything big?)

All of them.
All three terrors are leaving their respective nursery, junior school and primary schools.
All on the same day. That is some hardcore crappy crap planning from Team Parents (yay!).
Take my advice. If and when you have children, if you can find them, hire the A-Team! Try to avoid having a three year split between them all.
It's pretty intense.

The main tale here is Boy11 is finishing primary school.
Six years he has been there. It was our first school as parents.
There's been plenty of ups and downs, good and bad. Loads of cool stuff. Some crappy crap stuff too.
But as I picked Boy11 up from his Year 7 disco last night. I realised that this was probably going to be the last time I would be on school grounds. Legally.
I did feel a little sad. I know the building well, I can get lost trying to get to any of the classroom in that building in a heartbeat. They have the greatest booze raffle stand I’ve ever seen. £5 in and you walk off with at least three bottles. They had a skateboard club!
All his first field trips happened there. A lot has happened.
<Pinches own leg in attempt not to cry>
<Ends up crying over pinched leg>

Boy11 has already got his leavers jumper.
The school did try and keep them until the end of term and away from the children because of the heat (the UK is actually hot at the moment). But then the school clearly caved as they rapidly changed their minds and they just handed them out.
If you don't know what a leavers jumper is it's like a replacement for getting all your mates to sign your shirt or blouse (I wore both).
Now instead they get a lovely hoodie with all their classes nicknames on, and a huge 18 for the leaving year. It's cool.
Boy11 loves the hoodie and wears almost constantly. He loves the new jumper smell on it.
Team Parent (yay!) have told him that if he wants to keep that smell, he has to avoid sleeping in it, leaving it on the floor in the mess of his bedroom, using it as a brakes when he sliding about, and just general don't mush it up. If you love it.
Good general advice for life I feel.

([At soft play]
ChargerPerson: ‘And how old is this boy? If he’s 11 that’s twice the price?’
No no, he’s definitely 10…
ChargerPerson: <Points at the jumper>
Oh that? We just love the number 18 in our house… Great number…
ChargerPerson: <Is suspicious>

It's going to be hard on Boy11.
Not everyone at his school is going onto the same secondary school as him. Most. But not all. And he's old enough to know what that means. What will happen. That he will probably never see some of them again. Or at least not for many years.
The mate he spent most of the disco with, having great fun with, is one of them.
I asked him in the car on the way back from the disco about it. And as he said that mate wasn't going to be at his school. I saw a quick flash in his eyes of regret and sadness, and a bit of anger at the world for taking his mate away.
I tried to explain why it was happening, but failed. Because really it's a bit daft. It’s just adult reasons. Nothing Boy11 will care about.
Instead I just watched him handle his emotions pretty darn well.

I feel the same when someone escapes leaves work.
They are just gone. The main reason that you saw each other has gone. The building you both visit daily. Has become two buildings, and they are not the same.
Sure you can try and keep in touch. But my horribly large age and oldyness tells me the chances of that happening is very low. And rarely happens.
<Wipes nose>

If I ask Boy11 how he feels about saying goodbye.
To the school, to the teachers, to some friends. He is quite sad about it.
Some teachers have made a mark on him. And he will miss them.
They have inspired him. Picked him up when he was down. Taxed him. Tested him. Been fun to be around.
But their days are numbered. The circles of life that they inhabit will soon change to the next lot. But such is the lot of teachers.
Always watching their charges moving on, saying goodbye.

Boy11 has already had his taster day.
For his new school. Annoyingly it was on the exact same day as Miss7's. Which gave Team Parent (yay!) a logistical issue.
i.e. how to be in two places at once. So we divided and conquered. BabyBoy4 was dropped off at nursery. I took Miss7 to her new school and Mrs. Amazing took Boy11 in, catching up with us later.
Mrs. Amazing said as she dropped him off at his new HUGE school with billions of kids in it, some sixteen, already with mortgages and premium bonds and stuff. Boy11 looked a little worried and unsure. Until he saw a friend.
Apparently the relief on his face was clearly visible. And then he was gone until 3pm.
He even walked home on his own.

The fact he can walk to and fro to school on his own.
Is brilliant! We love it! It is going to make the morning run so much easier. Oh sure we've still got two other monkeys to get to school and stuff. But not having to drive across town to drop Boy11 off is going make things so much simpler.
I know, I know. There will be new things coming. After school clubs, events, things we gotta attend still.
But not having to drive him about every mornings and afternoon AT THE EXACT SAME TIME as one of us needs to be getting Miss7. Well that's gonna be pretty sweet.

Of course I will miss it too.
Dropping Boy11 off at school was really good fun. It was nice to see his mates. And see his teachers.
It was ten minutes in the car where we could talk. Or more likely rock out to banging tunes on the radio. I also really enjoyed hanging about in the playground meeting the Mums and Dads doing the same. I've made loads of friends that way and enemies.
But that will now stop for Boy11. Sure I can still pounce of strangers meet new people when dropping off Miss7 and BabyBoy4. But for Boy11 that boat has sailed. The gates are shut. The football practice is over. The tokens have run out. Player 1 has no credits left.
<Weeps and goes off to play on computer>
Secondary school parents rarely set foot on school grounds.
It's true.

Boy11 has been getting me ready for this though.
Not on purpose obv. just in his natural getting older ways.
Somedays the morning drop off stopped being me getting out of the car and walking in with him. To me just letting him out of the door. And then me pulling faces at him as I drive off. Some things have to be done.
Then Boy11 was by my side cycling into school. Which we did four times, before a mate was added to the journey. And that happened once, and then I wasn't needed.
<Howls>
<But is secretly happy to be avoiding that huge amount of exercise>
Then suddenly Boy11 was scooting in on his own. Boy11's need for me or Mrs. Amazing to get him places, is dropping away very very very quickly.
He's now suggesting I don't need to get out of the car when I drop him off places.
A part of me could just weep. I am becoming a taxi service.

And secondary school is just going to make that worse.
The amount of times Team Parent (yay!) will be at the school will be dramatically less.
We just won't be needed so much. Well I hope not. I hope he behaves and we don't need to be visiting every other day.
<Shakes fist>
Boy11: <Is watching tele> 'WOT?'
Boy11: <Shakes fist back>

This morning was the last drop off.
Oh my heart. We chatted in the car and listened to 'All Right Now' by ‘Free’ as loudly as possible, both enjoying the awesome guitars and bass solo.
As we got closer to school Boy11 asked if I could pull over some five minutes away. So he could scoot in the rest.
It's way cooler to scoot in. I hear him. Rather than have his Dad hug him goodbye outside the school gates. Plus scooting in on your own steam is way cooler.
I agreed and was strong and was waving him goodbye when he stopped.
And said...

Boy11: 'This is the last drop off I've got with you isn't it Dad?'
Yep <Is holding back tears>
Boy11: <Smiles at me>
Have a good day! <Reining, reining them in>
Boy11: 'Love you Dad' <Scoots off>
<Has a moment to self in car and removes all the random dust and debris that had clearly instantly flown in my eye and was making my eyes water>
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