Hi! <Waves>

Funny and honest tales from a made-to-work Dad of three, wobbling, graying, and laughing his way through parenthood. Armed to the teeth with Nerf guns, full of pie, fighting a chocolate addiction, but genuinely honoured to be at least half of Team Parents (yay!).
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Showing posts with label BabyBoy3. Show all posts
Showing posts with label BabyBoy3. Show all posts

12 August 2018

Suddenly He's BabyBoy4...

I say suddenly, but it's taken me ages to write this tale.
(So Grandparents, you have not missed a birthday, panic not).
However BabyBoy3 turning four came as a bit of a shock.
Not so much that he was four. I can read a calendar. I was there at the birth (eating biscuits with the midwives and guzzling tea WHILST Mrs. Amazing was being amazing and an absolute legend, and actually doing real magic of creating a person from her body, for the third time, the hat trick!).
I knew BabyBoy3 was soon to be plus one, i.e. BabyBoy4.

(Despite being told not to jump on the bed...
The birthday excitement was too much for BabyBoy3/4
Ow.)

Still SHEESH!
It was quite a shock when it finally hit home that he was four.
To think that all my babies had grown up and the toddler years, the nappy years, all those joyous and weird and pooey wonderful days were done. It was quite a jolt to the noggin.
The tipping point in my wibbly wobbly mind was his birthday party.
We had been brave and done the party at home again...

Right, that's all the knives, guns, shotguns, nukes, missiles, swords, daggers, breakables, fragiles, hot things, cold things, poisonous things, toxic things, stuff that gets stuck to your clothes and is a right pain to wash off, secret things and tiny things that are really collectable so that they don't go '''missing'''
Mrs. Amazing: 'So you started with Boy11's room then?'
Uh huh <Takes off full nuclear suit>
Miss7's room next...
<Opens Miss7's door>
<Sparkles and glitter waft out>
<Enters cautiously, but is quickly hog-tied in devious trap>

We did think about hiring someone for the party.
Or booking a room and then hiring someone. But then I remembered that all costs crap loads of money. And actually a small gang of four old's, surrounded by their parents, probably weren't going to cause Team Parent (yay!) to much trouble.
We've done it twice before. We have two elder children. We've earned our stripes.
We can do this.

[Both lying broken and battered two hours later]
Mrs. Amazing: 'Urhghhh... Soooo tired...pass the wine...'
<Is slugging wine from bottle>
<Empties bottle, gets another>
Mrs. Amazing: 'When you're done... any chocolate?'
<Points as is slugging>
Mrs. Amazing: 'You've eaten five bars already???'
<Is slugging but manages to nod>

And we did.
We did it. The party was awesome fun! BabyBoy4 had a really good time, and it was lovely to watch him play with his friends. Who are all quite, quite, mad, but lovely and fun and happy. They were all so sweet.
BabyBoy4 loved every moment of it and we got to be involved with it all. Brilliant.
Boy10 helped out. Miss7 helped too. BabyBoy4 could not have felt more loved.
Good.

There was an issue.
A confusion over the theme of the party. Which was a bit of a problem.
When I spoke to BabyBoy3 he clearly wanted a pirate themed party. But when Team Parent (yay!) met to discuss the party, Mrs. Amazing revealed BabyBoy3 had requested a Frog themed party. Obvs. We arm wrestled for it.
Frog party it was.
And the Cake as by Mrs. Amazing was awesome.

(When we were out and Grandma was over babysitting…
She gave BabyBoy4 a whole frog to eat…
They are solid icing…
<Gives you a look>)

BabyBoy3's 4th birthday.
Was the most eagerly awaited birthday I have ever know (except the Queens as we all got a day off). BabyBoy3 asked for ages about when his birthday was. Months and months we were asked about his birthday and when it was...

BabyBoy3: 'Is it tomorrow?'
No mate, months away...
BabyBoy3: 'Is it tomorrow tomorrow?'
No. Mooooooonths away...
BabyBoy3: 'No, no. Is it lots of tomorrow tomorrows?'
Kind of... Look you see how it's cold and dark out?
BabyBoy3: <Smiles as very lost>
Well when the sun comes out, it's close to your birthday
[Next day sun denying all seasonal expectations, comes out]
BabyBoy3: 'YAY! It's my birthday!!!' <Does in your face dance, which he learnt from me Boy11>
Right... No... When I said it was when the sun comes out...
[There are tears]

The other two.
Looked forward to their birthdays, sure. Every year, as is the tradition.
But BabyBoy3 was really excited about it. Months and months before it was going happen.
I blame Miss7 for constantly reminding him his birthday was soon, but not too soon.
But hey that's the fun of having siblings in your life.
<Coughs> fun.

Anyhoo...
Here's my amusing list of things about BabyBoy3 that in future I'll look back on and blackmail him about with a smile and a tear in my heart as my little dude has grown into a big boy.
<Vomits>
As normal I shall avoiding all the obvious stuff, like he's awesome, he's nice and just give you juicy Matt and Luke goss...

1. BabyBoy3 blocks the toilet up the most.
No he isn't a bear. He doesn't block it like that.
Instead BabyBoy3 is extremely generous with the toilet paper he uses. Every time.
We no longer watch him as he does it on his own. And as this is the third child Team Parent (yay!) have taught to wipe.
Just the fact he does it fills up with happiness and joy. So nice NOT to be involved in all the business anymore.
Yet the mornings I've dragged myself out of bed, stomped to my throne, only to find a basin full of water.
Well there's been a lot.
Twice I have found a whole roll wedge down there.
Brilliant.

2. BabyBoy3 is the master of apologies
Or I am the biggest sucker to that little boy...


BabyBoy3: 'Sorwe Daddy. Sorwe Daddy' <Saddest little cute 'I've learnt my lesson totes' face>
That's OK dude... Just try to avoid it next time...
BabyBoy3: <Biggest eyes you ever seen>
Have a cuddle
BabyBoy3: <Cuddles me>
You want a present?
BabyBoy3: <Nods>

3. BabyBoy3 can't play Mario Kart
Oh sure this isn't a world breaker. It's not the end of the world.
Really it's not going to stop him in life in anyway.
And yet... As I watch him play. He really can't do it. The brain connections that say wall-avoid just are not there. Bash bash bash into the wall he goes. I'd like him to be better. Ah well, give him time.
Still it doesn't stop him demanding to play every now and then...


So dude what ya wanna do?
BabyBoy3: 'Car racing game!!!' <Bounces about>
But you suck? You sure? It always makes you cross and bored?
BabyBoy3: 'BRRRRRMMMMM' <Gets gaming cushions>
Fine...

4. Our song has changed.
If you read this blog enough you may well have noticed that me and BabyBoy3, have a song.
(Which I still ain't telling you what it is). That I sing to him as I put him to bed every night.
Recently he declared that our song is no longer wanted. -I wept for hours.-
Not wanting to let go of this special bond I had very carefully set up. I changed tack and asked him what song he would like to sing instead.
And then I had the genius idea that I could teach him the words of a song, and how to sing it at the same. A three year old that could sing in tune, what a blessing that would be!
A Disney favourite was chosen (I still ain't saying) and that's what we sing together, slowly so he can learn it, every night.
He loves it almost as much as I do.

5. You can call him Spider-Boy now.
And Buzz Lightyear. And BatBoy. And Robin. And <Giggles> Woody. Basically whatever he is wearing you can now call him.
Which may not sound like much. But for the past three and a lot years you would be told off by BabyBoy3 for that kind of outrageous comment...

<Is looking at BabyBoy3 dressed as Batman> Hey Batman!
BabyBoy3: 'THAT'S NOT MY NAME. I'M BABYBOY3!'
OK mate... <Runs>

My fierce, bonkers, little spider-boy.



6. It's Daddy! YAY!
No one is happier to see me arrive home than BabyBoy3. No one.
If I could bottle this bit of BabyBoy3 I would, and keep it forever. He actually says yay too.
Outloud. Yay.
When BabyBoy3 hears me come home, he leaps up from whatever he is doing, and runs to the door to see me. Even if it's just to shout 'Come see Daddy' and then he legs it off again.
It's possibly the best feeling to have someone so excited you're home. And I shall revel in it whilst it lasts. As the others? … Not so much anymore...

I'm home!
Boy11: <Eyelids flicker in recognition, barely>
Miss7: 'Hey Daddy' <Doesn't move>
Mrs. Amazing: 'Hi. Bye. They're all yours' <Runs out of the house>
BabyBoy3: 'DADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDY!' <Runs at me and hugs me>
<Has high voice> Dude! A bit more carefully next time. Lovely to see you!
<Walks off John Wayne style, eyes watering>

Wouldn't trade it.

7. BabyBoy3 is our most hitty child.
It's fine as he's got tiny little hands and no damage can be done. Still.
His kicks can pack a wallop though. Wincey wallop if you're not careful.
It's a mixture of him being very excited about everything in life, and him having very little spacial awareness.
It's also totally my fault.
As the Ninja training I do comes up a fair bit at home. I go once a week.
Sometimes I show him. We all watch Dragon Ball Z (which I am sure doesn't help). And although I did the exact same with Boy11 and showed him everything Ninja-ey I did.
I also had a lot more time back then. And I've kind of skipped over the part where I said to Boy11 a lot: you don't do any of this to your friends and family.
My bad! (I think BabyBoy4 rocks).

8. BabyBoy3 moves furniture.
The other two didn't do this.
Some mornings we try and go into BabyBoy3's room and well you can't.
As he's moved the bed in front of the door. Or the bed is sideways. His lamp is knocked on the floor. There's normally toys strewn everywhere and walking anywhere in the room is totes unsafe for any of Team Parent (yay!).
It's normally a morning thing he does whilst he waits for us to all wake up, and then wakes us all up at 6am anyway.
As for what time he gets up to do his furniture rearranging...
I shudder to think.
<Shudders>
See.

9. BabyBoy3 disagrees with Team Parents (yay!) bedtimes for him.
He doesn't wail. He shout. He doesn't cry.
Sometimes he lays there singing to himself, or playing with toys in his bed.
Other times runs about and steals stuff from Boy11's room. Or Miss7's. Or our room.
It's like living with a magpie.
And it's not as though he’s quiet about it, THUD THUD go his little feet across the ceiling as Team Parent (yay!) turn the tele up and pretend he's fast asleep....

You go
Mrs. Amazing: 'I don't want to'
He just hides under his covers when I go up, and giggles
Mrs. Amazing: 'He just hugs and kisses me and tells me lots of things'
Arm wrestle? Oh no... wait... Mario Kart contest instead!
[After]
Damn it! <Trudges upstairs to find BabyBoy3 moving all my clothes into his room>

10. BabyBoy3 is still the happiest little fella ever.
OK probably not ever. But compared to the other two. He's well ahead.
I am really, really, really, glad that BabyBoy3 still has this about him. I wrote about it on his third birthday. At the time wondering if it was just because he was young and little and hella cute. A bit of me worried that as he grew up his wonderful attitude to life would slowly be stripped away. BUT IT HASN'T!
He's still the happy go-lucky dude he's always been. He just seems to be happy to be here, existing. Which is something I shall always aspire to.
BabyBoy3 you were utterly brilliant. Thank you.

I can’t wait for more matey.
X

(BabyBoy3: ‘Can I eat my lunch in my den?’
… Hmmm… Yeah!
I see no problem with that!
[Later, whilst cleaning sofa]
... I see problems with that...


21 May 2018

Out of Time...

I so want to be a good Dad.
<Crosses fingers>
And be there for all three of them. In their lives. Connected.
Some days I feel I do this.
And others... Well other days I fail and that sucks.

This week.
Team Parents (yay!) main focus has been on Boy10. As he is sitting his Key Stage 2 SATs tests (exams) whilst being whipped by the education flail of pigeonholing and self esteem destruction.
And I've upped my game and attention on him.
Before he left for school I picked him up, and balanced him on my shoulder.
Then spun him round and round really fast, pretending that his head was gonna smack on a wall (it wasn't). And for good measure I did a few huge little jumps with him over my shoulder.
Classic Dad stuff. That is like crack to Boy10. And relieves any tension in him through fun and laughter. My special powers skills.
Then when I got home from work on his first day of exams. I told to him grab a ball and we headed off to a field to practice catches for ten minutes.
Boy10 loved that.

(Michael: “I sat there looking ugly, looking ugly and mean
I knew what you were saying, You were saying to me…”
(treat your ears here: Me In Honey))

As for Miss6 and BabyBoy3 that day.
Well BabyBoy3, the utter little delight that he is, had me up at 5am. Joy.
And after an hour of returning him to bed, despite him being utterly, utterly awake, and finding the whole process hilarious.
I gave up and we went downstairs, as quiet as mice, to watch cartoons.
At least that was the plan...

I give up! Come on then... Let's go watch cartoons...
But we have to very very very VERY quiet. Boy10 needs his sleep...
BabyBoy3: 'OK DADDY!'
Shhhhhh
BabyBoy3: 'SHHHHHHH!'
Dude!
BabyBoy3: <Covers little mouth with hand>
Better... Let's go...
[THUD, THUD, THUD]
Maybe you should just walk down the stairs...
BabyBoy3: 'OK DADDY!'
Shhhhhh
BabyBoy3: 'SHHHHHHH!'
<Grumbles>

And as for Miss6.
Well that morning of the week is ours. It’s the one day everyone else naffs off.
And we get a full thirty minutes in the house together.
Alone...

What do you want to play?
Miss6: 'Game of Life?'
Boy10's 'Game of Life'?
Miss6: <Nods>
It's fine, just wanted to make sure you knew...
We've only thirty minutes, you gotta be utterly, UTTERLY, ready before we start?
Miss6: <Nods and runs off to get ready>
[Thirty minutes later]
Let’s go then… Hang on! <Notice’s Miss6 is in jammies for the first time>
YOU’RE NOT READY!
[Lots of running about]
[Both are late]

So yesterday win!
Full sweep. Every child got some focused Dad attention. I even found time to sit and watch tele with Mrs. Amazing.
Whilst eating. Planning out our lives over the next few weeks.
A brief hour of time with all children in bed, when neither of us are too tired to talk, and are not actually sleeping.
Special moments.

But today.
Well I thought it was going well.
To add spice to Boy10's leaving for school rough play: I chased him full pelt through the house. Shoes on and all.
Ending up with me bundling on him on a bed. Boy10 giggling away.
Job well done I felt. Although there were was one scary moment when I rounded a corner at top speed and my not-quite-twenty <Coughs a lot> frame nearly didn't manage to turn in time. Before a wall. But I soon shrugged off that pain.
<Weeps and limps off>

(Boy10: 'Are you OK DAD?'
<Whimpering sounds>)

I spent some good time with Miss6.
As we, and BabyBoy3, scooted into school. It wasn't great time for BabyBoy3 as he was crying and wailing most of the way. Because he wasn't in the lead.
As Miss6 wasn’t letting him be in the lead. She kept scampering to the front. Much to BabyBoy3’s annoyance. And continual tears.
I'm afraid I wasn't very sympathetic as he was making us all late. Well except him, nursery don't care when he rocks up. We pay them a lot.
But my boss and Miss6’s school very much do care.

It wasn’t all bad for BabyBoy3 though.
As we arrived at nursery he smelt crumpets in the air. Which cheered him considerably. Second, and possibly third breakfast can have that effect.
Bless.
I like hot crumpets too.
<Grins>

Then I missed another chance to spend time with BabyBoy3 at lunch.
My parents were at my place looking after him and I only had an hour for lunch.
And it's such a treat to see both my parents, and to chat to them both.
And they won't be here forever...

<Checks watch> Another cuppa?
Parents: 'Isn't it a bit late for caffeine'
YES! FAR TOO LATE. Especially when you have young children. This time of night is basically the morning for ...
Parents: 'Go on then...'
<Mutters off to make cuppa>

So sadly once again BabyBoy3 was sidelined.
I hate having to make that kind of decision. But I only see my parents for an hour a week.
And to be fair BabyBoy3's around a lot more than that...
But then his need for my time is greater…. ARGHGHGHH!
Why is there no answer for this!!!
Anyway, moment with him not taken.

Then we were onto the evening.
Miss6 had already mentioned that she was looking forward to story time with me.
Which is nice. Although she only seems to say that on the one night a week I go out.
My night. My one evening a week to myself, that I prioritise above everything else. Ish.
Learning to be a ninja classes.
Being able to sing full volume in the car for the hour it takes me to drive. Is worth it alone.
Being able to punch and kick the crap out of a bag and sometimes people, whilst waving swords and sticks about, WHILST learning how to be ninja...
Frankly how could I not go.

(Scale 1:1)

Still it makes the evening tight (time wise).
Especially as Boy10 still needed to be taken out to play ball or something.
Boy10 gets his time with me outside. He is calmed.
Miss6 gets a whopping twenty minutes of my time before I leave. In which I make sure I am extra funny. Extra caring.
And I let her jump on my tummy and squish me an extra time.
Then I'm off to ninja training.

By the time I've got back.
Washed. Calmed down. Eaten something. It's generally close to midnight.
Which is so unbelievably late going to bed in our 5am starts lifestyle. It's a wonder I can still move.

As I crawl into bed.
Body half broken from class. Hella tired out. And tummy full of crisps pasta and salad.
I'm feeling pretty good about how I've spread my time with everyone today.
Been good son. CHECK.
Been good Dad. CHECK.
Went to work, didn't get fired. CHECK.
Made self healthier and learnt new killing methods. CHECK.
Phoned at least one brother. CHECK!
Yep, nailing it!

But then, just as sleep has nearly scooped me in her lovely arms and whispered naughty things my ear. Mrs. Amazing wonders to me if BabyBoy3 will be feeling better tomorrow...

... What?
Mrs. Amazing: 'He's been poorly all day, I wonder if he'll be OK tomorrow for nursery?'
I... I didn't know he was poorly... Crap...
<Is attacked and eaten by guilt monster>

I obviously don't sleep for a bit.
However an hour later. I've worked out a few things:
1. I should have noticed BabyBoy3 was poorly. Bugger.
2. Three kids is hard. Harder than it appeared when BabyBoy3 first turned up. Being outnumbered is exhausting.
3. The Cat is a git. Because he didn't really want to come in, but is now being a smegger downstairs and I'll have to go let him out.
4. I do not have enough time to give everyone the time and attention I want to. Or they need.

Conclusion:
I can change 1) & 3) and make sure they don't happen again.
I can't change 2). I can just rest more. Somehow.
And 4) well...

That's the whole point of this tale.
I don't have enough time for them all. I don't. There's three of them.
Me and Mrs. Amazing barely scrape together a hour a day together.
And I certainly don't have enough time for all the things I want to do. Which always seem to be last in priority. But that's OK.
Really. It's OK...

Brainzilla: 'It's not OK you know?'
Shhhh it is...
Brainzilla: 'But our dreams? Our plans?'
Can wait. Or have changed...
Brainzilla: 'BOLL-'
Hey, hey, keep it clean please!
Brainzilla: 'OCKS!'
<Tuts>

It is OK.
Because this mad, busy to the eyeballs, no sleep, life, will pass. It'll change. Stuff always does. At some point I'll / we'll have a chance to catch up. Hopefully.
And if not? Well at least I tried my best and had as much fun as possible along the way…

KIDS! TO ME!
<Kids all assemble>
Nerf war? Water fight? Or just a bundle on the sofa here? <Points to sofa>
[Intense kids discussion]
<Is dragged onto sofa>
<Is shot at, soaked and jumped on>
<Is happy>
X

(OK let’s have a water pist….
BABYBOY3 WHERE THE BANJO DID YOU GET THAT PISTOL?
<Mutters>… Mine’s tiny compared to that…)