Hi! <Waves>

Funny and honest tales from a made-to-work Dad of three, wobbling, graying, and laughing his way through parenthood. Armed to the teeth with Nerf guns, full of pie, fighting a chocolate addiction, but genuinely honoured to be at least half of Team Parents (yay!).

27 January 2016

Missing My Baby...

A while back Mrs. Amazing took BabyBoy1 and headed off into the wild, where the wine bars are to see her mates.
Leaving me, Boy8 and Miss4 alone.

[Front door shuts and we all run round to wave goodbye]
[Miss4 waves the hardest]
[Boy8 is making plans and waving]
[I'm waving trying to think of a plan]

Boy8: How long has Mum gone for Dad?
Two enormous, enduring, long lasting, never ending days
<Miss4 switches waving arm>
Boy8: Does that mean you are in charge?
YES! I am normally!
Cha! <Is slightly outraged>
<Boy8 says nothing>
OK... Joint in-charge, me and Mrs. Awesome rule together with an iron fist
<Boy8 nods, slightly sarcastically>
<Miss4 switches waving arm again>
Boy8: Are we going to be OK?
Yeah... We'll be fine...
<Boy8 does not look convinced>
<We all huddle together for safety>
...What was that noise?

It's was funny not having BabyBoy1 around.
It was strange. He’s always there at home. Obviously I get a few moments every now and then without anyone of them in the house, which is sheer bliss. But I don’t tend to miss BabyBoy1 then. It's nice to be alone. 
But this time I wasn't alone, I still had Boy8 and Miss4 all up in my grill existing and... and stuff... I found I missed the noisy, happy little one, that gives the best hugs. (He does full body hugs. He is tiny.)
My littlest boy that walks into tables, dances like a loon, shouts at nothing and is damn happy most of the day...
I missed my littlest dude.

There a few things in the house that stood out for me. A few things that are just for BabyBoy1 and as such reminded me totally of him...

1. Stair Gates.
We have three in our house. One to stop BabyBoy1 going upstairs on his own and then falling down the stairs. Another one to stop BabyBoy1 going downstairs on his own and falling down the stairs. And one more to stop him getting into the tiddly (utility) room and pressing buttons on all the machines.
Of course BabyBoy1 is perfectly safe going up and down stairs. He does it carrying stuff now. 
That doesn't mean watching him go up and down the stairs isn't horrible and a building heart attack waiting to explode in my face and cover me with goo. Because well… it is.
But he can do it.
We often forget to shut the stair gates. I often walk into them. The one in the tiddly room is so often open, I wondering why its even there. Coz it’s funny making the Cat jump it.

The weird thing is.
For the two days BabyBoy1 is gone, me, Boy8 and Miss4. All of us walk around the house shutting the gates behind us. And then opening as we need to go by, and then closing them behind us. Keeping the tiny boy that isn't even there, safe.
That’s pretty mental sweet I feel.

(I have installed these around the house... It hasn't worked and now they all swear...)

2. Stools
No not that type. I mean the height extending types. 
BabyBoy1 has stools so he can reach sinks. So he can brush his teeth with us all. Little face just reaching. It’s cute.
The stools though are hella annoying. They are non-slip which means they don’t slip. Nor can you shove them, push, shove the door open if one is behind it. Nothing.
So whilst BabyBoy1 is gone the stools are quickly, by me, and many times due to the non-slip evil, kicked out of the way.
On the first evening I noticed that both Boy8 and Miss4 insist on using the stools as they brush their teeth. Thus perpetuating the non-slip evil.

What are you doing?
Boy8: ‘I'm brushing my teeth’
I can see that…
Why are you stood on the stool that I carefully kicked into the corner?
‘So I can do this’ <Boy looks me straight in the eyes>
<He’s on tip toes on the stool to do so, but it’s very unnerving anyway>
<Miss4 walks by carrying another stool to her room>
Where are you taking that one?
Light-switch <Doesn't stop to explain>

It seems that without BabyBoy1 in the house, both Boy8 and Miss4 claim and start using his stools for everything they can.
Once he was back they stopped.
They’re weird sometimes.

3. Nappy paraphernalia
This is everywhere in the house. BabyBoy1 is our third child. Team Parents (yay!) are tired and we don’t like to have to hunt and find nappies or wet wipes, every time Captain Poo struts his stuff. So we have secreted nappy paraphernalia everywhere.
Of course once BabyBoy1 isn't in the house. We just have a house with wet wipes and nappies everywhere.
It’s a bit weird to be honest.

4. BabyBoy1 toys
I don’t think is going to be much of shock to anyone to be honest.
But BabyBoy1 has lots of cool toys, HE’S GOT A BATMOBILE, and rather than respectfully leave those toys alone, and undisturbed for two days, whilst he was gone.
We did the opposite.
Well kind of. Not the exact opposite as that is always dumb. But we did play with them a lot bit. And maybe not always in the manner expected by the manufacturer.
Everything was fair game it seemed. I wasn't exactly encouraging them to play with BabyBoy1’s toys, they did that fine on their own. It was just that my normal reason to stop them, had gone.
It’s hard to convince Miss4 that she may upset BabyBoy1 by driving in his Bat Car. when he’s not there to see it. It’s much more fun to push her around in the Batmobile and enjoy the giggling.
It was fine, we broke nothing that was noticed.

(Still amazing... Oooo... Batty...)

I think we all missed BabyBoy1 a lot.
(And Mrs. Amazing loads obviously, in case you are wondering, we all missed her tonnes)
I think Boy8 and Miss4 missed him a lot more than they thought they would. They do play with him a lot. So I suppose that makes sense. I just don’t think they realised.
It’s funny how someone so little, that sleeps twelve hours a day, can’t talk, makes little sense, shouts a lot, throws food everywhere, poos a lot and is constantly causing trouble, can affect your life so much and be so damn miss-able.
He is though.

[Two days later]
Boy8: ‘What’s this?’
Let’s call it me protecting myself against anyone telling Mrs. Amazing what we really got up to, for two days…. OK?
Just sign here
Boy8: ‘Why should I?’
So it can happen again...
<Boy8 rapidly signs>
You too <Passes pen to Miss4>
<Draws a picture of a flower with pen>
That’ll do…
Now, we need to practice, what have we been up to?
Boy8: ‘We read a lot, watched films, played cars, eaten lots of vegetables and we ate at the table together every time, not in front of the TV!’
Good… Miss4?
Miss4: ‘We have bathed each night, brushed our teeth, combed our hair, and got up at a normal time!'
Miss4: ‘... But we didn't…’
We did <Gives Miss4 a look>
Miss4: <Nods>‘Oh! Yeah' <Smirks> 'It's a secret!’

[Mrs. Amazing arrives home]
<Miss4 tells her all>