Hi! <Waves>

Funny and honest tales from a made-to-work Dad of three, wobbling, graying, and laughing his way through parenthood. Armed to the teeth with Nerf guns, full of pie, fighting a chocolate addiction, but genuinely honoured to be at least half of Team Parents (yay!).

27 September 2015

LyricTale: Ain't No Sunshine (When She's Gone)

In 1971 Bill Withers released his first single called 'Ain't No Sunshine' (When She's Gone). Not a bad first single. Read about it here.

It's a beautiful song, sung with Bill's delicious voice, simple guitar work and lovely string arrangements. But for me, it's the lyrics that elevate 'Ain't No Sunshine' to steak pie level brilliance.
I find the lyrics perfectly sum up the sense of loss and incompleteness I feel whenever me and Mrs. Amazing are apart. Even when she's being an utter bug.

Team Parent (yay!) have been together since the 1304, maybe 1403, I forget now, it was definitely before the renaissance. So for many, many, lovely years this song has only had one meaning to me. Missing Mrs. Amazing.

But the other day it played on the radio (Radio Hella'Tunes) and totally different thoughts and meanings flooded into my head...
Damn kids, work their way into everything, like spilt milk.

So with considerable concern that I am doing the equivalent of sticking a gold star on a Van Gogh.
And in the words of Zoot (from the Muppets) 'Forgive me, Charlie Parker, wherever you are'.
Me new thoughts...

‘Ain't no sunshine when she's gone’

'Daddy wake up!'
‘Where's Mummy?’
Escaped Away... what time is it?
<Checks time>
Go back to bed

‘It's not warm when she's away’

<Wakes up frozen>
<Boy8 and Miss4 have stolen all the duvet and are watching cartoons, all snuggly>

‘Ain't no sunshine when she's gone’

Why are the curtains still shut?
Who normally opens them?
Is there a button that does them?
<Jabs remote in hope>

‘And she's always gone too long’

‘How long has Mummy been gone now?’
Three sucky minutes
‘Really? Is that all!!!’
We've still got 8 hours to go
<All hug together for safety>

‘Anytime she goes away
Wonder this time where she's gone’

Where did Mummy go?
‘No idea’
Does anyone know?
<All shake head>
For shame...
What kind of children don't even know where my wife has gone

‘Wonder if she's gone to stay’

<Checks wife tracking device>
<Sees Mrs. Amazing enter the specialist shoe, fabric, shawl and cushion shopping centre>

‘Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And this house just ain't no home
Anytime she goes away’

Who wants to play eat over the sink so Daddy doesn't have to tidy up after you
That'a girl

‘And I know, I know, I know, I know,
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,
I know, I know,’

YES I KNOW MUMMY does your breakfast different!
I'm sorry I poured your milk at the wrong angle
Which is your favourite cup then?
I have to guess?
No you can't sit next to Mummy, she isn't here!
You could sit next to me... <Hopes>
Fine then, sit on the floor

‘Hey, I oughtta leave young thing alone’

Where's the other one?
The shouty one
<Shrugs shoulders>
Oh you know, can't talk, poos a lot, always saying Dadada
Yes him, isn't he normally about at this time of day
And who is that screaming?

‘But ain't no sunshine when she's gone’

So who's gonna give me my morning sunshine hug?
<All shake head>
Fine I'll hug the cat
<Gets scratched>

‘Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
Only darkness every day’

<Opens curtains finally>
‘HEY! We can't see the tele’
<Closes curtains>

‘Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And this house just ain't no home’

Damn right
<Wonders which small army normally does all these jobs>

‘Anytime she goes away’

I've no idea where your school shoes are
Why ask me?

‘Anytime she goes away’

Are you sure it's wear a onesie to school day... Mummy didn't say...
<Both nod>
‘We swear’
Swear on R2 or it doesn't count

‘Anytime she goes away’

For lunch you both have peanut butter on a player card
Queen of hearts for Miss4
Aces of spades for Boy8
<Does rock hand>
‘We can't take peanut butter to school’
Really? Crap
Fine, take this
<Each get 200g of Mild Cheddar>

‘Anytime she goes away’

<Pushes children out of house>
<Looks back at kitchen, hall, bedroom mess, with regret>
<Still leaves>